[pumpernickel1]

Tonight should be great. I got a car on friday. Im going to be starting a new job last week i think i will love. I currently work a temp job in a metal fabricating and polishing place. 9 and a half hours a day. Metal dust in my mouth nose, ears. Makes my asthma worse. $12/hr. Angry boss and supervisor. I found out 1 hr ago i got a $15 hr full time job working as an activity aide at a very nice assisted living center on a lake. I worked previousely in homeless shelters when i was 20 and 21. Doing activities. I loved it even when seriousely depressed. Why am i so so anxious and stressed? This is a great thing! I got a six pack of beer and im on my second. I dont drink that much. The thing is, im 26, male, and great with people. Why am i stressed about leaving this s**thole job? I hate it. Also, i might be hypomanic. I always am in mid november towards christmas. Im the opposite of most bp2 folks. I get hypo in fall when the leaves get dark red and if i hear christmas music flipping through radio stations or youtune videos, the hypomanic light switches on. Then depressed in spring and summer. I got a kitten this morning. She makes me so happy. I was planning on getting her for a week or so. Already have 2 cats and 1 dog. But i spent 200 the last 2 days on stuff she probably doesnt need. I also have been smoking more cigarettes and drinking more coffee. Sleeping 6 hrs night instead of 8 and not feeling tired. I dont think its hypomania though. Or i wouldnt be this stressed. Things do feel very good. But idk if its hypomania. Just so stressed out. Im ranting. Someone help.

[bizi]

congratulations on your new job!!!!!!!
Watch the hypo.....perhaps keep a lid on the coffee. I am glad that you got a new kitten, they are so much fun.Hopefully the other animals will play with her while you are gone.
I hope you sleep better.
bizi

[icecreambananapi]

Dang I actually didn't work today (Monday) because I dread going to work due to bipolar disorder. I'm kind of depressed going to work. I wanted to quit my job. It pays okay but the stress and ******** in corporate world I cannot handle. I try practicing stoicism because I think it helps but sometimes I just cannot handle it. Good luck to us. Don't be afraid to quit your job! Especially if you found another one. Hang on!

[cashart10]

Congratulations on your new job. I think it is perfectly normal to have lots of anxiety about any new job! You are not alone. In the meantime, do all you can to maintain stability. Try to keep a routine to maybe get your sleep back on track and maybe find something distracting (maybe even as simple as journaling or watching tv) to keep you away from the alcohol and cigarettes.

Congratulations on the new job! It sounds lovely! Working in an assisted-living facility by a lake will promote such a sense of well-being! You will be doing "good works" in a setting which will promote health. I think you will love it! Congrats on the kitten too! They bring such joy!

It does sound like your mood is high and i find your pattern quite interesting, with the Christmas music being triggering. I also liked Christmas last year for the first time since i was a kid and i'm 53. More early December when my building had a Christmas feast. By late December i was depressed. I'm sitting here wearing a Christmas dress i bought at Walmart yesterday. I don't have anything scheduled today i just wanted to put it on. I don't wear Christmas gear until we're past Remembrance Day (Canada) but that was yesterday so i am free and clear. The dress is super soft with a lively Christmas print on a green background. Green clothes are so hard to find.

Maybe you are uneasy because of the big change ahead re your career. You will be leaving an awful but FAMILIAR situation and that can provoke anxiety. Beware of making more changes. You've had quite a lot of newness with your car, job and kitten. Try and keep everything else the same. You'll adjust in time but don't burden yourself with any additional challenges.

I also feel attracted to the stimulants when my mood gets high. I feel so good i just want to INDULGE and be WILD, WILD, WILD!!! Tho i understand that your mood is also somewhat negative. I somehow find the strength to resist stimulants except for a light rum-and-coke on occasion. Try and resist the stimulants as they will only make your mood more intense.

I stay busy doing healthy things to distract myself. I get involved in causes that i feel passionate about -- but not ones that are provoking like political activism. I also listen to evocative music and scribble the lyrics on my walls. Music is so intense when my mood gets high. I get out in nature with my dog, even it it's just to get out in the yard and take in the wide open sky and the fresh air. You need to be calm for your new job which i am sure will be fabulous!

I so enjoyed hearing from you and hope you will keep us updated with your news! Good things lie ahead, i am sure of it!

Be well my friend!

[sarahsweets]

Change is always scary,good or bad.

[Zeroid]

I think that a ******, familiar job has one thing going for it, that you know exactly what it's going to be like, and how you do the job. Unhealthy conditions, arsehole boss, long hours, these are things that you have dealt with before, and can deal with again. A new job is scary. Will they like you? Can you do it? What's the catch? Will they find me out as the fake, crazy loser that I am?

But a lot of those questions have been answered. They like you, they think you can do it, and you know this because they hired you. You were tough enough for the fabricator job, you're tough enough for this.

[*Beth*]

I'm so sorry that you're having such a struggle. Not a fun ride. When I start going crazy I think about my precious pets and how much we need each other, rely on each other. That alone keeps me from going off the deep when nothing else makes sense.