[luvyrself]

Don’t know what to do. I’ve spoken to her about this repeatedly.
How can i trust someone who does this or even try to make sense of our conversations. This is my best friend and mentor.
I don’t have a clue and thank goodness for you people , who keep me going.
I don’t mean any offense referring to her son. Many of us have overlapping conditions, but we are not all the same , suited to a one size fits all approach.

Why don't you call her on it?

My Dad lies a lot, and sometimes even starts to believe his own lying. I call him on it, but it often doesn't do a lot of good. He's been like that most of his life. My siblings and I talk about it, but we just have to let it go. I wonder if it is your friend with the issue, rather than her actually thinking she's doing something to "manipulate a mentally ill person". Either way, you may want to talk to her about this. Neither you, nor her son (with the multiple dxs) are children. Neither you, nor her son deserve to be manipulated like one.

[Fuzzybear]

Her lying to you repeatedly would make it impossible to trust her I would think. She is maybe used to talking to her son and unintentionally talks to you the same way?

Also as the post above mentioned, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense lying to her son either.

Her behaviour is manipulative and unhealthy.

Can you talk to her about this? I have also had people in my life who were very manipulative.

[fern46]

I'm with BirdDancer and Fuzzybear on this. I'd get it out in the open that you know she's lying and that you'd prefer she be straight up with you. If she agrees, I'd give her a chance to correct her behavior. If it continues after that, I'm not sure I would continue to invest in the relationship.

[~Christina]

You said you have talked to her about it many times ..... what does she say? How does she defend her lies?!

I’d call her out and honestly if she keeps doing it I’d let that relationship go. Who needs friends who lie? Yeah nobody.

Good luck

[sarahsweets]

lying is never good in any relationship no matter the reason.

[bpcyclist]

Lies are a relationship killer.

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

You said you have talked to her about it many times ..... what does she say? How does she defend her lies?!

I’d call her out and honestly if she keeps doing it I’d let that relationship go. Who needs friends who lie? Yeah nobody.

Good luck

——she acknowledges that she constantly minimizes problems to keep people in a positive mindset and direction. I realize that having chronic pain herself creates a need to stay chill. I have a painful shoulder condition (that we will probably resolve w physical therapy), so I realize how much stress can increase levels of pain. She’s 78 and I may need to share more of my more stressful issues with you guys instead of her. Her bp was spiking during the run up to the huge gargantuan holiday dinner she hosts, so I ordered her to delegate everything, so she upped her dose of bp meds and did delegate most of it. Thanks everyone. You are really helping me get to the heart of this.

[~Christina]

Minimizing things is fine for certain things.. but if it’s causing you distress and concerns about trusting her and the lies I think I would disengage from her certainly about your personal thoughts on your illness and any struggles.

I’d find someone new to confide in