I just really need to chat!

Well, I woke up early this morning in a panic that I'm doing all the talking again and nobody's responding! (Kinda like the not answering emails thi g, except that this isn't about emails/PM because I'm not getting any...!!!) Yeah, well then i went back to sleep after a little while resolving that I'll post this thread later in the day. Well, now I'm up and I'm not exactly sure what to say. I mean, it's just some sort of cry for help?? Or it's just that I want to keep a thread thriving...like, maybe I could make this my journal or something for when I'm feeling desperate?? Yeah, I guess that's my hope and that someones will chat back once in awhile...
I feel like a real idiot right now. I just need some attention though and I never know when that feeling of loneliness is going to strike, so I'd like to keep this ongoing. Official unofficial "Giddy's Thread". K?
God, I'm a loser! :/

Hi giddykitty! I am here for you. I feel like a loser too. The musician Beck even sings a song called "Loser" in which he sings "i'm a loser" in Spanish: "soy un perditor." So we're in good company! How did you come up with your screenname? Is it because you have a cat?

Hi
Well, I don’t know what a “loser” is since that’s one of the words that isn’t in my vocabulary. But If such a thing did exist I guess I might qualify since I am “even” allergic to cats and dogs .. one of the reasons I became a bear

I think it’s positive that you started a thread, sometimes it isn’t easy to find many in the “real” world who understand or even try to

Thanks! Haha yes, I know that song. Uh, the u/n is for my love of cats. Don't currently have one though.

Probably smart not to use the word loser. I was just really emotional to use it.
Sorry about the allergy. Bears are cool too though. <3

Thanks for the encouragement!

I agree on the no loser call. I think you're pretty cool for coming out and saying you have a need and you'd like help from the group to fill it.

So, I guess I'll just add some more of what's been going on with me. I've posted a little about this in other forums, but they all seem to be pretty dead at the moment. Ok, so I had this online group I was talking to. Made a best friend, made another best friend but she turned into an enemy. Well, long story short, I was eventually rejected by the group even though to me, SHE was the problem. Anyway, my best friend followed me to Facebook. SHE was there too. Eventually, she won the attention of this best friend and I was unfriended. But I can still view the public profiles, right? Because this was such a hard loss, I was still following the best friend. It was comforting at first, about a year, and then I checked again about a week ago and guess what? I saw a pic of the friend and the enemy embracing. Now realize this, the friend lives on the other side of the world from the enemy and me, but one of them had made the trip to see the other. Upon further review, it appears it has been 3 months that they've been spotted together now. So, does this mean they're together now???!!! Like, did one move to the other? I was extremely hurt and jealous with a feeling of betrayal when I first saw this. I've had a good few days to talk to people and process a little, but I think this is going to be a lifetime type of thing that I'll be dealing with. Anyone have any thoughts or advice about what I should do? I feel like I'm going to continue to check up on these people for a long time, unless someone convinces me with a story about this being a bad thing. (This is an obsession and I'm totally attached to this group, especially those few).

Which brings me to a few other issues. Looking up former friends online (including those "friends" I had mentioned in another post, which I still may delete/edit at some point. Anyway) just kinda reminiscing a lot lately and having dreams about my past. Honestly, my present is much better and much healthier than those days in many ways, but I still miss things....probably the sex. Like, I was "hypersexual" (???) and had several partners...this was good, exciting and gave me a thrill... why do I still have this desire for having multiple partners despite being in a healthy loving marriage? I don't know. But I'm just struggling with these things lately.
Finally to top it off, I've got my celebrity obsessions/crushes. I feel like they are somewhat healthy as in a distraction,...except when say they do something sexy and I get excited.
Why am I so on about sex lately?? This was one of the things that made me think I may have had bipolar. Hypersexuality. Or is it just like a porn addiction type thing (don't really watch porn, but you know, the sex scenes in movies with hot guys kinda things)
Ok, I'm done.

Ok, feeling really alone right now after that last post. Going into my vacation with a sour taste in my mouth. Maybe this personal thread thing was a bad idea.

No it wasn't a bad idea. I'm here and I'm reading but I'm not good at words right now.

I'm reading too

Ok, honestly, "I just need to chat". for reals. Hubby is being super moody today and wants to blame it all on me?? Gets upset I keep forgetting how to cook and that I ask questions. Damn! Have just a little patience! I told him that's how I am....that it takes like 7 times for me to learn something. He says "oh just write it down". :/ I guess I could, but it's not quite the same as just learning by doing...and I just don't like taking notes. They don't always make sense when I read them back and or I leave out details that I'd have to ask him about anyway. Then he goes on to say "I give up. Just keep cooking the 3 things you do know!".... we have had this fight before. I try to explain that with practice, I'll get it. That we need to keep doing it. (gah! i hope he never sees this!)

Anyway, we were supposed to have some "fun" tonight, but I'm sick and don't really want to but was going to be a good sport, but now he's whining that the day was kinda ruined. (and mind you, he tells me to shrug off a bad morning and not let me let it effect the rest of my day. *rolls eyes) Gah! So i dunno! Maybe things will get better. I'll try to maintain a positive attitude.... we will see. That is all. for now.

If you want to chat, you can join us in the chat room.

Sorry your husband's being a pain.

Thanks for understanding and thanks for the invite! I've never used the chat...maybe I'll check it out later tonight though. Going to try to make use of the night over here, but I'll likely be around the site most of the night...unless things get a lot better over here. hehe

argh! I keep forgetting to say this... I miss you guys!

hmm, does that sound weird? I suppose I could check in on the other posts...or well, now that I've been invited to the chat... ;D

Boooo! I feel really upset right now! Nobody is commenting or reacting to my new thread "ideal goals vs realistic goals". I mean, is there at least a way to see if anybody is viewing it, or am I just wasting my time?

I'm sorry I'm so whiney today. Women's issues perhaps. Certainly isn't helping. Anyway, please help!

I don't see this thread that you are referring to.
sorry.
this is a really big forum and it is hard keeping track of every one.
Did you ever go to chat? There you will have the immediate attention that you desire.
I know that you have an internet thing so do I.

take care my friend.
bizi

Here's the thread
Ideal goal vs. realistic goal

I have recently tried the chat...maybe I just like having something that I can go back to and look at from time to time.

Thanks for your support, Bizi! <3


Still wondering if there's a way to look at how many views (not just replies) a thread has had...??? Anyone?

Hi kitty, I have a personal thread running right now, just to keep track of a med change. Anyone is certainly welcome to comment (as you so kindly did), but I'm not looking to chat, really. I've never used the chat room, but it sounds like something you would really enjoy. I say Go for it!

I totally understand how youre feeling. I crave chatting with people a lot - I call friends, turn on facebook messenger, text people, email my penpal- and feel uncomfortable if I can't chat. One thing that helps is listening to a favorite CD in the background. I'm here to post in your thread if you'd like.

@BethRags Actually I have been using the chat lately too. I just primarily wanted this thread to keep track of some things and like when I'm really craving attention to give everyone in the section a heads up. Something like that. I don't always know the best way to ask for what I need or really know what I need until it sort of tumbles out after a few posts or conversations. I'm like always saying things are "a work in progress" :P

@Moose72 Exactly my feelings! If ya post, that would be spectacular!

Quote:

Originally Posted by giddykitty @BethRags Actually I have been using the chat lately too. I just primarily wanted this thread to keep track of some things and like when I'm really craving attention to give everyone in the section a heads up. Something like that. I don't always know the best way to ask for what I need or really know what I need until it sort of tumbles out after a few posts or conversations. I'm like always saying things are "a work in progress" :P

Good for you! I admire that you're upfront about what you need instead of being passive-aggressive.

@giddykitty how are you feeling today? I just tried calling my friend but his phone is off. Grr.

@Moose72 yeah, before I forget to reply. Well, I'm doing alright, but kinda anxious. Preoccupied with trying to solve the mystery of the disappearing website and this site sometimes running slow. I really could use a bit more sleep too...yeah, sorry. Preoccupied. I'll write more when I'm less frazzled. Thanks!

Hi giddykitty. I'm sorry I didn't post in this thread until now. Not doing so had nothing to do with you. Sometimes I pick and choose according to how much I can handle. It usually never has anything to do with individual members. Sometimes I don't know what to say at first. Sometimes I later do.

I hope you have checked out the chat and maybe like it. I know some people really do. I have visited that a couple times in the past, but it's too fast paced for me. I get muddled and overwhelmed by it a little. I will check out your thread in the other forum. Like someone else wrote, sometimes I can't always visit all of the forums here at PC.

@giddykitty
The forums site would not load for me today until now. Wonder why that is. I've been listening to a CD today and rereading "Madness: A Bipolar Life" by Marya Hornbacher. Its on Amazon I think. Its a very good description of what its like to be bipolar.

I'm kinda bored today BUT we did get the christmas tree down! All the Christmas decorations are put away. Yippee!