[Naynay99]

Hey. So I don’t think I’m actually bipolar.
Previous pdoc dx me as bp2 but current one said recurrent depression and anxiety.

Anyway, have been feeling pretty fantastic lately. Big change from the depressive funk I have been stuck in. Did a.crazy cleaning and reorganizing of my house. Put away Xmas, vacuumed, dishes, laundry, errands. Finally feel motivated to complete all the stuff I couldn’t force myself to do while depressed.

But while having a phone fight w my ex bf, he kept telling me to slow down, and the whole thing was infuriating and took all my will to shut up. He is a sociopath which I had temporarily forgotten. Or maybe I knew but was feeling randy. The phone call and his crazy reminded me.

I had to listen to some really loud angry music to calm down after the convo. It was rough. Crawling out of my skin. Some RATM calmed me some. Finally got myself to turn off music and finish school work. Then went to bed, wrote a lot in my journal ranting about the ex. And my heart feels sort of racy like I can’t get enough air. According to my watch, tho, heart rate is normal.
Yet I feel pretty great otherwise. Invincible. But not sleeping. I tried the calm app but couldn’t pay attention to the story. So came in here.

Maybe I’m just stressed out. Triggered by my crazy ex bf and his mental abuse.
I made an appt to work out tomorrow at gym , box some, to get out my angst. I feel like that was a healthy thing to do.
Rational. I’m just too keyed up to sleep but I feel a bit like my body has run out of steam. Idk. I take medication (AD and lamictal) but don’t think it does anything anymore. Sorry for this long novel which is provably pretty pointless but I feel like I need somebody to talk to and this seemed like a close secnd.

[CutegirlS]

looks like you need to move on from your ex bf

[bpcyclist]

You are sounding pretty hypo to me, but I don't know you, so it's always a bit hard to know for sure. But you def sound fairly hypo in my opinion.

[FluffyDinosaur]

I agree this sounds like you might be starting to get hypomanic. Any one of the things you list isn't necessarily a dead giveaway, but the combination of all those things does suggest hypomania to me.

[Gabyunbound]

Of course no one here can diagnose you, but I'd consider the possibility that this is a big lift post-depression and you're just feeling a lot more productive than you did while depressed, combined with all the negative energy emanating from your ex. Most of all, though, I'm glad you're feeling so much better.

However, just in case, I would consult your pdoc and see what he/she thinks. If the decision is that you are, in fact, hypomanic, then maybe he/she will need to add an AP.

Best of luck to you, and I hope you continue to feel very good, as long as it doesn't turn into hypomania.

[Naynay99]

Hey. Thanks for the different opinions.
Yeah I know nobody here can dx you, it’s just my pdoc is terrible so thought I check in what u all thought.
I’ve decided that I am just gonna enjoy feeling good for now. And if I still can’t sleep tonite I will contact my pdoc to see if he can give me something to help me get some sleep.
I really tried to sleep, layed in bed for hours, saw the sun come up thru my window. Sleep wouldn’t come.
Insomnia is a *****. But I just feel so relieved to not be feeling depressed. Like, hey I remember this version of me and have missed her. Depression sucks the life out of everything. Even with being sans sleep, I am feeling pretty good today. Work isn’t too terrible today.
Idk. I was feeling really good and in a good place to talk to my ex but my new year goal of honesty didn’t work out so well in my favor. Total mind fack. I am hoping the gym tires me out later and that sleep comes easy tonite.

Anyway, part of me thinks maybe this is more than a good mood. Another part says no way, this is just me catching up on all I missed while depressed and I shouldn’t be medicalizing happiness! And a lot of me doesn’t give a crap, so long as Im feeling okay.

But I will keep an eye out in case my first pdoc was right all along and this is more bipolary than unipolary. Take care. Silver lining- I didn’t get caught up in my ex’s charm, Jedi mind trick crap; I saw him for the walking disaster he truly is and saying goodbye was to tbat was easy.

Nice to see you again, Naynay! I think you are right in wanting to just enjoy this while also keeping an eye on it. Sending best wishes ..

[Naynay99]

Hey. Thanks.
So last night after 3 1/2 hours I finally fell asleep. Slept from 2 am till my alarm clock woke me up around 6;30. Glorious uninterrupted sleep. I feel great. I even made coffee to take to work with me which I never do. Physically feeling a bit tired and sore from my workout from yesterday and work can be stressy but underneath it all there is this feeling that everything will work out.

And have a huge sense of relief in getting rid of the ex for good this time. Best diet plan ever- drop 200 lbs overnight!
I know it’s only a week in but so far this is most favorite decade...

Anyway, have a great week. Take care.