Tips for Processing Emotion

This is a quick read from the PC Newsletter with some easy tools to use to process emotion. I've used a few of these before, but there are some new methods I'd like to try.

9 Inventive Ways to Identify and Process Your Emotions

I liked these, especially #2 for some reason, thanks fern

Hi fern. Thanks for sharing the article. I think those who read it may see some tips more workable/appealing for them, than others. Of course I see all as useful, but I have discovered that choices of coping tools/skills/methods vary by person because of personality, current mental health situation, and other factors. The following are ones I have used successfully. I hope others will look at the whole article for the full list of 9, and maybe even share others, as well.

4. Fill in these sentences: I can’t change _________. But I can choose to think _____________. Because remember that you can shift your mindset even in difficult situations.
This can tough, sometimes, but I have found it more than possible to adjust my thinking. This reminds me of black and white thinking. My goal, in these cases, is to see the in between, or to identify positives among negatives. For example, "I can't change that I have bipolar disorder, but I can choose to think that I am brave being a survivor, that despite my challenges, I am still a good wife, one who supports others, a creative individual, etc, etc.

5. List your top 5 extreme thoughts that trigger your emotional overwhelm. Then rewrite them from a more accurate perspective. For instance, you’d change “I’ll always be alone” to “I feel alone now, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be forever.” You’d change “I can’t handle this” to “Yes, this is really hard, but I’ve overcome many hard things. I can do this, and if I need help, that’s OK, too. What resources can I use right now?”
This is basically what I refer to as a CBT "Dysfunctional/Automatic Thoughts Record" or "tackling cognitive distortions." This tool helps me manage catastrophic thinking, especially in terms of anxiety, but also other strong emotions. I often use it in conjunction with # 6 below. I can pre-plan for stressful events (what to do if/when). For example, what if I start to have a panic attack at the movie theater? Is it the end of the world? If it happens, maybe step away to the restroom for a while and breathe. Even if I came back and excused myself wanting to go home, would the person REALLY hold it against me? They might experience similar. How would I feel if the shoe was on the other foot? I'd be generous. So they'll be generous. If they aren't, then that is a reflection on them, not me.

6. Compose a dialogue between you and your emotion. Speak with love and kindness.
I love this one! It is a reminder that my negative emotions and bipolar symptoms do not own me. I can prepare in advance to stop them from happening, or at least not be as severe. One small example is "I know that some drivers will tailgate me. Does getting angry do any real good? BirdDancer, be kind to yourself and let the tailgater pass you, even if you have to pull over. In the end, that will do you more good and it will be safer for everyone involved. The driver obviously has his/her own major issues they're struggling with."

I agree. I also think that what helps in one moment isn't always a fit for the next. I like having a varied toolkit to use.

You've provided some great examples of how to apply these. Thanks!

Thanks for sharing this article fern

This: Compose a dialogue between you and your emotion. Speak with love and kindness.

Great thread, I need to revisit this

Love and Respect to all

Good post

So many out in the world fail to do that. I will no longer abuse my valid emotions like some choose to. (not anyone here)

Love and gratitude to all

I've bookmarked the article. It's even more helpful at this time. Thank you, fern

Great article! Thanks for sharing it fern46. I will be referring back to it.

I am certainly not in the majority here. For me, I think a certain amount of irritability is a safety valve. I really need to get it out sometimes. What's NOT to be irritable about right now, LOL.
Im not talking about a dangerous or offensive level of anger that would certainly work against me. I have to speak up for my diabetic ex (I do diagnoses-it's ridiculous- and I have deflected unnecessary procedures like cutting tendons in his toes and putting an implant in the eye with the worse retina in a clinical trial) The squeaky wheel aspect is really true. Medical people, for example, are so rushed that they often, even highly qualified doctors, do not look at the big picture. I DONT MINCE WORDS WITH THESE PEOPLE. Id never make it in diplomacy, but nobody is going to run me over with stupid ideas. PUT ME IN A ROOM WITH THE DONALD, JUST 5 MINUTES, IT WOULD REALLY MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, ONE MINUTE???? OK, Ill tell off our doctors instead. Really, people, stand up for yourself!
I do want to temper this by saying that ordinary people in Phoenix have always been super nice and they still are. Hugs to all of you. I sure need to get out w the dog!

I wanted to add something here. Of course these are challenging times and we have to be careful about what we do, and we should never at any time shoot ourselves in the foot.
However, I like to remember that the hormones that make us angry, the fight or flight hormones that our bodies developed centuries ago, are there for a reason, to protect us.
Each of us has a very different personality. It took me til later in life to learn to assert myself. I am still learning HOW to assert myself. I try to plan my approach out in advance. The difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness can pose some real challenges. Changing back and forth when you are dealing w different people is sometimes difficult. But I have truly found that sometimes there is just not time to act as diplomatic as a Secretary of State. Im glad I learned as a teacher in some highly challenged schools that in some situations you had better bark something out immediately or a kid could get hurt. So now I have that instinct to protect my ex, for whom I am medical advocate. They say that when you learn self defense or martial arts, the moves have to become instinctual or they are not effective. So thanks to those kids with questionable behavior who today prevent me from hesitating when I need to speak up fast or lose the chance to do so.