Beth's Keeping Track Post

I think it's great you are willing to contact your pdoc and you get a helpful response from her! My pdoc has always been readily available and responds quickly. We are both very fortunate this is a part of our experiences.

It must feel good to get some relief.

I'd designed a way to quiet my mind. This might or might not be helpful to you. I'd wanted to take some time to share.

I grew up in a highly anxious environment. Once I'd left that environment, I'd found I was too "keyed up" for my new environment(s). I'd then realized just how much anxiety was eating up time, energy and interfering with peace of mind. I did seek treatment.

Over time I had further decreased my anxieties by identifying what was driving my anxiety. I was often "worrying." which was also habitual.

I don't know if you "worry" or not. Just wanted to share how I'd minimized any worry./decreased anxiety. I'd found worry fed anxiety which increased worry, which fed anxiety, etc.

I'd worked at managing my worry by assigning a time(s) when I'd allow myself to think about, even obsess about, certain topics. I might have assigned a time,like maybe 10am to 11 am. and maybe 6pm to 7 pm.

When I'd found myself habitually "worrying"(which fed anxiety and vice versa), I'd stop myself and remind myself a time was assigned to this type of thinking.
It took quite awhile to catch myself, to stop myself and train myself to limit any of that type of thinking to the scheduled times..

I did honor the times I had set aside to experience, express worry/anxieties during those scheduled times. Over time, with consistent practice, I'd significantly decreased the amount of anxiety. My days were no longer filled with anxieties.

Over more time, I'd decreased the length of the assigned times. I'd eventually influenced my own behaviors/habits so I very rarely worried and I was able to discontinue any/all anxiety meds.

It's been many years since and I continue to enjoy the drastic change in my life. I continue to enjoy the freedom. I am very blessed this type of "behavioral" based approach was so helpful to me.

I don't mean to minimize your experiences with high anxiety. It can be so overwhelming, even incapacitating. It can be, or can seem to be, free floating in nature. Sometimes we can find some added relief if/when we look into the sources of our anxieties.

As you know all too well, anxieties around things like trying to survive on disability pay can be so anxiety producing in an ongoing manner. The challenges are very real. I'd found stress/anxiety around these types of challenges incredibly difficult to minimize. Until people have been there, they just cannot understand the ongoing difficulties involved in meeting only the very basic needs.

Just wanted to share. Take anything helpful and leave the rest

Much Love to You!

I think that perphenazine (Trilafon) is the most effective medication I've ever taken...and that's out of at least 30+ different meds and countless med combinations.

I've raised the dose to 10mg/day (6mg a.m., 4mg p.m.). The great news is that I have no additional tremor than I had at 8mg. Yay! That would be the deal breaker.

As for melatonin...eh. Sometimes helps me fall asleep, but it doesn't seem to do too much as far as staying asleep. Melatonin and valerian together is a possible option.

Had achilles tendon surgery 5/28. It went very well. I have a cast on for 3 more weeks, then I'll transition to a "boot." I admit that I am exhausted, the cast is heavy, but it's okay...the goal is to be able to walk normally eventually. I'm excited about that.

I did venture out to get my hair cut. Our numbers in NorCal are decently stable (unlike SoCal, 500 miles down south). Getting my hair cut really lifted my spirits, plus it was terrific to see my stylist after all these months. Besides that venture I am staying entirely in my apartment. Living upstairs makes going out mostly impossibly with cast/crutches (stairs). But it's okay; going out is very tiring.

I was on an opiate pain med for 2 weeks. When it was time to stop it I had no problem with doing so (except that of course, the pain is slightly worse).

Having a rough time with teletherapy (as I've been ranting all over the forum about ). I absolutely know that it's better than no therapy, but wow- do I miss having appointments in her office. I miss being with her in the same space. I just wish there was a set time for when we'll meet IRL again, but there isn't one, at all. I doubt it will happen for many months.

Trilafon has been a big game-changer for me, too. I was headed straight for Clozaril, but that Trilafon has just nipped my badass 8 months of psychosis right in the bud. Hooray!

I was in the same situation. It was going to be clozaril, then a possibility of ECT. For some reason my pdoc recalled having used Trilafon in the past; she suggested we give it a try.

Hope your leg heals quickly, Beth. What a pain being up the stairs. Be careful getting down those...

Thank you!

I have my next telemedicine pdoc thing in a week. I do not like not being able to see well, but, we are still not really open in this state and our numbers were a record-high on Thursday. People here are mainly very pro-mask, pro-distancing in the city. Out of town, in the rural areas, they have been having close gatherings with no masks in protest of whatever civil right you call it when you try to save thousands and thousands of lives by not being a complete freaking moron.. 22nd amendment or something? Dunno.

People in my town are being cooperative about wearing masks, especially because all stores and medical settings require them.

I'm curious to find out what the result of the masses of people protesting will be...whether covid will spike or not.