[NOS-NOS]

Yeah this sucks. I tried to get off meds myself and now I'm paying for it. Back up to my old dose, but hypomanic prodromal symptoms plague me almost every day. Pretty much threw a relationship away, and on this course I don't think I can ever be with someone seriously (my 14 year marriage finally disintegrated not so long ago as well) When I'm in these states all it takes is one little thing to send me into a tailspin. I'm okay with being single indefinitely. But does anyone else have luck with relationships? I heard a 90% divorce rate when a partner has bipolar. Is that true? Wtf. Anyway life blows and then you die. I'm so irritable right now.

[Victoria'smom]

I've been with dh 19 years. He has bp also.

[~Christina]

Yes the divorce rate is high. The divorce roughly 50% now a days in general for couples.

Having Bipolar can indeed raise that rate , yes I have seen that 90% number around for a long time.

Lots of things factor in to any marriage of course. Financial, disagreements, having or parenting children, extended family trouble.any substance abuse. Cheating spouses etc etc the list goes on .

Now keep those in mind and add on a mental illness whether it be Bipolar, depression or ptsd etc

Im personally off of psych meds right now it will be a year next month.

But ... it was a well thought out plan , I have lots of coping skills , but I have an agreement that if I start to slip I go back on meds, if I’m not aware I’m slipping and if my husband says ... okay you’re not doing well and I will believe him and go back on meds.

People married or just living together have a responsibility to be the best they can for our loved ones. Someone with Bipolar also has the SAME responsibility for there actions..

Having Bipolar isn’t an excuse to be a lousy human being... so take meds if need be, use coping skills , good sleep hygiene, have a treatment team and be fully invested in finding stability and work hard to stay there.

[sarahsweets]

I am bipolar, ADHD and some other stuff. I met my husband in college when I was 18. We have been married for nearly 25 years. I think it both partners work on things the chances of as successful relationship are very good.

[MickeyCheeky]

Don't worry, @NOS-NOS! It is hard, but I am SURE you will be able to find a WONDERFUL Relationship for Yourself! I'd suggest using this time and this Discovery to take care of yourself first. You will find the Love of your Life more easily if you feel more stable! Keep trying your best, Friend. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @NOS-NOS, your Family, your Friends, your Pdoc and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY DEAR, SWEET, AWESOME, KIND AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!

I've been with my husband for about 25 years, and married for almost 23. He has, indeed, been with me through the worst years of my illness, but never once did I think that he wanted to end our relationship. I certainly never wanted to end our marriage. In fact, we very rarely even fight. When we have pissed each other off, it usually lasts only a few hours to max 12 hours. I am not into marital fighting. That doesn't mean some of his stuff hasn't annoyed the hell out of me, and vice versa, but it's been piddly stuff that we nowadays just either laugh about or shake our heads about. That doesn't mean that I don't yell and rant and on occasion show violence (when manic), but it is rarely directed at him. It's usually only directed at life, in general, or frustrations.

I can definitely see how some couples would struggle with the many issues relating to bipolar disorder. Not all couples are even close to as tolerant and forgiving as my husband and I are with each other. My first love (not my husband) dumped me after a few years in the relationship (living together at the other end of the country for two years). I'm sure my bipolar disorder played a significant part in the breakup, but I think he also did, as well. I don't think he ever loved me as deeply as my husband does. Obviously, that first love didn't love me unconditionally, like my husband does. My first love was a bit superficial, a trait I didn't fully see in him until after the breakup. I had also not quite recognized the clear signs he showed about his dissatisfaction for me. It's like they passed over my shoulder, like the wind. I remember the day of the breakup well. I was 23. He said he didn't love me anymore. I was shocked and didn't fully believe him. It was hard to understand how a couple could love each other, and then stop loving each other. That certainly showed how naive I was, and disproved the notion I had that "once you love you love forever". It was very sad and brought on bad bipolar episodes! Anyway, I know my husband and I will love each other forever. There is always someone out there that would/will.

[NOS-NOS]

Thanks guys. Sure it's not an excuse, but if I'm in it alone it just won't work out. It's very easy for things to spiral that way. We'll see what happens, but not easy on both sides.

[NOS-NOS]

So now I am completely stable, a few reflections:

I spent A LOT of money while manic, which I regret. My son cried when he heard I spent all my money from selling the house in my divorce, and it hit me.

I hurt my girlfriend emotionally multiple times, all while manic.

I had several plans for suicide, while depressed.

Still, I miss the feel good parts of being manic, which at this course I know I'll never see again. Even though I know it was all an illusion, it still captivates me how I could be so confident, so carefree, so bold. I miss those parts but not the destructive parts. I miss having so much energy that I didn't need to sleep much. Now I can't get enough sleep and I'm still always tired. I miss having focus and motivation, which eludes me when I'm stable.

I guess a lot of people with bipolar might feel similar, just thought I'd share my thoughts. I'm just a regular 'nobody' now, and that part sucks, even though the prior was an illusion.

Anyways, hope all are doing well with covid-19.

Stay safe peoples

-G

[Fuzzybear]

[~Christina]

I think people with Bipolar are alot like people addicted to drugs or alcohol..

People who use drugs or drink enjoy the high , right? So its makes it really hard to want to quit, same as Bipolar folks chasing Hypo/Mania we want it because it just feels good, we feel anything is possible..... but as with drugs or drinking our life will catch fire and end in a smoldering ruins that we have to try and make amends and get back on our feet... So we have to change the way we think about life and finding enjoyment.

I personally don't use the word happy.... I prefer to think of finding a place of being content, do I miss Hypo? Yes !!! who wouldn't. But I have a responsibility to family and friends to be the best me as possible and I owe it to myself to not tear apart my life.

[NOS-NOS]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I think people with Bipolar are alot like people addicted to drugs or alcohol..

People who use drugs or drink enjoy the high , right? So its makes it really hard to want to quit, same as Bipolar folks chasing Hypo/Mania we want it because it just feels good, we feel anything is possible..... but as with drugs or drinking our life will catch fire and end in a smoldering ruins that we have to try and make amends and get back on our feet... So we have to change the way we think about life and finding enjoyment.

I personally don't use the word happy.... I prefer to think of finding a place of being content, do I miss Hypo? Yes !!! who wouldn't. But I have a responsibility to family and friends to be the best me as possible and I owe it to myself to not tear apart my life.

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. It is like drug addiction. I know because I've been there as well.