(TRIGGER) Paranoia (TRIGGER)

***If things are easily triggering don't read any further I need some sound advice here no-one is listening to me***

My symptoms;

1. Scotland is on lockdown have been 2 weeks now

2. Police have bugged me/want special info listening into phone calls but can't read texts or written words as they are in a special language

3. Police are out for me/looking for me/they are out with guns for me

4. Army is the same as number 3 the police

5. Police and Army are coming for me

6. Hitler is coming for me.... I know he is dead, I know he is bad and I am not connected to him

7. Police, Army and Hitler are out to get me to section me

I think that's it. My support team CPN and my Therapist know but I'm unable to really talk to them as it's on the phone. Help any ideas what I can do.

Sorry you are experiencing these symptoms, Miss Laura.

Can you elaborate on what you mean by "special language"? And can you explain why the police are after you? It doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong.

Hitler is long dead, as you said. Wikipedia says he was born in 1889, which would make him 131 years old today if he were still alive. (See here: Adolf Hitler - Wikipedia)

Also, the oldest living person today is 117, with the oldest person ever being 122 years old. (See here: List of the verified oldest people - Wikipedia)

Knowing that information, how do you feel about Hitler's existence?

I have these symptoms too.

Hi,

My writing is in like something similar to a foreign language. Only chosen people can read it yay you!!! I have special information that the police want that's why they have bugged me.

I understand Hitler has been gone and for a while a long while and that I am safe but he is constantly there. The police, army and him are all there throughout the day and when I sleep

I think you made a good point: Hitler has been dead for a long time and you are able to recognize that you are safe from him. So, if you are safe from him, is there a reason for you to worry about him? It sounds like whether he exists or not in some form, he will not be able to harm you, is that correct? So, I wouldn't think too much about him, and based on what you said, I think he's actually irrelevant in this case, would you agree?

So taking Hitler out of the picture... Why do you think the police and army are out for you? Did something happen that made you feel that way?

I woke up one day well one night and it's been like this ever since your talking close to 3 weeks ago. It sounds stupid and pathetic but they want the information I have for them. They shot a camera into me one day when I was out and that is it from then on they have been after me. I know it's crazy and mad but it's the truth. What if this is the norm for me?

Miss Laura, I'm so sorry you're doing poorly.

Definitely time to do fact-checking, an example of which Blue has provided. I am glad you have the insight to recognize this as paranoia. That is good!!

The one that comes to mind for me is to consider how very, very busy first responders such as police are right now. They've got their hands full with "the situation". They don't have the time to devote such energy to someone who hasn't even done anything wrong.

You said your providers are aware despite your being afraid to elaborate via the phone. What level of understanding do they have? Is it that you're experiencing paranoia, just not the particulars? Or do they simply think you're not doing well and not know it's paranoia? What are they doing to help? Are you taking your meds? Can they call in a PRN to help, or do you already have a PRN they are recommending to take?

You say that it's "crazy and mad," and you say that it "sounds stupid and pathetic." What makes you want to say those things? I ask this because I think it's an important thing to take a step back and analyze why you feel that people may think of your feelings as "crazy and mad" or "stupid and pathetic." So it makes me wonder... Do you feel that there is anything misguided about your thoughts and feelings? It sounds like you feel that perhaps there is something wrong with your thought patterns and/or feelings, and you did say that you are experiencing paranoia.

This is psychosis. What are you able to do to stay safe? If your treatment team knows, are they adjusting your meds? I would suggest calling back and stating you are experiencing constant psychosis and you are in crisis.

I have been there. It feels 100% real because your mind and body both experience the hallucinations and delusions as truth.

I think the fact checking advice is wonderful. I'm not sure if it can adjust your thinking at this point though. I feel you need intervention. Please call for help.

Inner,

My CPN I am hearing from on 9th at my allocated time in the afternoon. So if she thinks I need anything like a PRN she can help with that. I told her about the paranoia to the extent i have said here as hard as it was as i am worried I'm tapped. I'm wired. I'm bugged. But I managed to tell her.

My Therapist again knows but her hands are tied aa she is just a Therapist not a CPN or Psychiatrist. She can't hand out meds. I'm hearing from her tomorrow the 7th in afternoon.

I'm hearing from my Psychiatrist on the 20th at the allocated time so he will know

I haven't spoken to my Community Support Worker from my Psychiatric team in 2 weeks no idea wants going on there makes me think they have gotten to her and she has decided to ignore me??

My Peer Support Worker is on holiday this week but called me last Thursday and we spoke. She says its good I have insight as I trust any NHS number which is good.

It's just I am.... all of the above. If I wasn't the above I would be ok but I'm not. I'm struggling to keep my head clear. I'm although at times rationalizing it all I don't truly believe it it's just what they want you to think and feeel

Hi,

I'm at my parents house due to the current situation.

No med adjusting I'm only on 1,500mg (750mg x 2) Depakote, 20mg (AM) Aripiprazole and 80mg (AM) Propranolol

I'm on top of all this highly anxious nervous tummy the way I get when I'm stressed out grrr

I see what you're saying.

What you could do is brainstorm: write down all of these feelings on a piece of paper, then write why you think they are true and why they might not be true. Think about your feelings from different perspectives. For example, what would your doctor think? What would your twin think? What would a random person on the street think? etc. etc.

If you would rather write these things on this forum instead of on a piece of paper, feel free to do so.

I know it must feel incredibly uncomfortable. My heart goes out to you.

I'm not a med expert or knowledgeable enought to know if your cocktail is a good fit, but it seems ineffective based on your symptoms. I saw you speak with your doctor later this month. I think it would be worth calling and telling them what is currently going on so maybe they can help sooner.

I'm grateful to hear you are at your parent's house. Have you told them what's going on?

Yes, I agree with fern, you should call your prescriber. The 20th is quite far off, especially in light of your symptoms. Act now in getting help while you still have some insight, ok?

Are your parents aware of what's happening with you?

Thanks Blue and Fern,

I've made a brainstorm last week of my worries anxieties if Covid-19 and I will try to do one re me. But I feel I would be repeating myself. I have one on paranoia already too

Inner,

No my parents are non-the-wiser which is fine as it would be too much for me too many questions.

My CPN can give me meds if needs be but I doubt I'll get anything tbh

We are all under far too much stress, aren't we. For those of us who are especially sensitive the stress can easily bring on psychosis. You are truly not alone.

Please, please pursue with contacting your provider.

How are you doing today, Miss Laura?

I hope you're feeling more relaxed today. If you haven't done this already, do you think you would be willing to talk to your mental health team today?

Yes, how are you today?

Thinking of you today

Thanks guys spoke to my therapist this afternoon I'm drained. I have my Psychiatric Nurse on Thurs so I have her to chat to then. I've been up most of night due to itching to talk to people. Then worrying about it no break from this hell I'm living in my mind.

Lots and lots of hugs...
Is there anything you've found helpful in distracting yourself at all?

I can only imagine how frustrating and tiring this must be.

Did your talk with your therapist help at all? I don't know how long your appts are.

Many hugs