Family

This is kinda related to bipolar so bare with me

My Dad and I are currently at loggerheads (fighting). We have a long history of fighting. Tit for tat, major fights, him thrown me out the house, being physical all that jazz. Since I moved out 7 years ago it's gotten bearable but he still nit picks.

When I got diagnosed everyone blamed me for all the fighting. Until very recently then we saw my Dad's true colours. He's such an idiot I'm currently raging at him. Anyways....

I moved in with him and my Mum in March when UK when on lockdown. I now feel it's best to move home. But.....

Everyone Sister, Friend and Counsellor are saying not to jump into anything in haste and to think about it.

I worry what my Mum will think as she gets upset easily. She had a stroke and is disabled my Dad is her carer. He refuses to let me help and when I do I'm doing it wrong which I'm not.

Btw I'm 35 but you would think I was in my late teens early 20's the way he speaks to me. Next he will be grounding me.

He shouted at me over me buying a pack of chicken breasts the other week no joke. Sometimes I think he's the crazy one and not me.

Any wise words of wisdom I'm losing the will to live now

When you write "move home" do you mean to your own home, not with your parents? If so, what is wrong with that? It might be best to live alone. You tried living with your parents, and it seems like it's not working out.

Yeah moving home is to move back to my flat of 7 years.

The issue is everyone says they are worried about it as I've been dealing with psychosis this year and they feel I'm not ready to live on my own independently. They feel I would be going back a few steps

The thing about being a parent is, it is always kinda hard to accept that your babies have grown up, at least for me. My daughter is twelve, but in my mind, she is still 4. I have to really work not to treat her like she is 4, because that is often the image of her I have. Maybe because it was such a magical time for us together. Not sure. I ama pretty sure your dad thinks of you as much younger than your actual age. It happens to parents.

I would think being in your own flat would be good for your mental helalth.

I don't know about your situation, but what if moving to your own place and having that peace and quiet is good for your psychosis?

All I'm saying is my mother has borderline and living with her was hell (I was the designated "bad child"). I moved out of there as soon as I could and never regretted it for one second. I'd rather go live under a bridge or something than move back in there.

Can you get more support from the community? Then you can live on your own but do PHP or IOP.

Cause of lockdown I moved in to help care for my Mum. But my Dad doesn't let me care for her as apparently I'm useless. I feel like a waster at the moment. I'm incapable of doing anything. Ironically I cared for people with disabilities so out of my whole family I CAN and am CAPABLE of looking after her.

If I go home there will be no support for me from my community mental health team as COVID is still very much alive here. Things are just opening up but we must wear face coverings. If I go home my psychosis will be more prominent as it always is when I'm home alone