Being a nuisance

Hey guys,

Hope you're all staying healthy to the best of your abilities.

Maybe some of you go through this as well. Four years ago several people died in my life within a few months time apart (one was suicide), dealt with drug dependence, other events occurred and around three years ago I had a psychotic attack I never fully recovered from. After the deaths I became more jumpy, but was in too much of a cloud to feel anxiety for issues that actually mattered. After the psychotic attack though, I have been afraid of absolutely EVERYTHING. A few other events happened that did not help.

I don't recognize this as part of my personality. My therapist and psych state the obvious. My super, family etc pretty sure are done with me being so nervous about everything.

At this point I think I am annoying everyone. But I don't know what to do about it. Breathing exercises and meditation have not worked. I want to go through trauma therapy but I am so scared of having another psychotic attack. I'm also too embarrassed to talk about things, even though it was nothing I did wrong. Part of me has a bit of resentment for being subjected to information when I was too young.

I suspect my previous roommates thought I was spoiled because I got scared of things around the house. But, that's not the case, I just don't adapt to my environment anymore. I used to be the most mediator in the home. Now everything feels like a threat.

Sorry you are struggling, clydeback. So, you are in therapy now? What does your therapist say about all this? What are your meds and what diagnoses do you cerrently carry?

What are you embarrassed to discuss, just generally speaking? Do you not trust your therapsit?

Sending you strength and support. Hang in there. This will turn around, but you are going to have to take some action.

Thank you!

I've been in therapy for almost ten years and was diagnosed with bipolar. I've been a lot better with mood swings since I started Lithium and Seroquel. I am on Buspirone which helps take the constant heart palpitations away. There has been a lot of progress with therapy over the years. This is just my next hurdle.

Currently not entirely. I have been through many therapists and keep trying to find the right one. Now that I am out of school I can try a DBT group provided I find appropriate insurance. It's childhood trauma that I am embarrassed to mention, mostly because saying it out loud means that it is true and I don't want the therapist repeating it back to me.

Oh, right, sure, that totally makes sense about your childhood stuff. So sorry about that. I love DBT, it has helped me so much. I hope you can benefit from it. I bet you will.

Have you looked for that new therapist yet? Hard to make much progress if you do not really trust her, you know?

I had the anxiety & fear just as you've described. I battled it for 9 years. Nothing helped. My pdoc finally hit on a med that is the first one to not only help, it really is a miracle med for me. Trilafon (perphenazine). There's a thread about it in Bipolar Treatments.

Hi, I can relate to having a lot of anxiety I think that DBT would be helpful too. I have also had issues trusting therapists...

I hope this turns around for you soon. Keep posting.

Update: I graduated and have seen some improvement. Phew. Switched insurances and have been battling with finding anything above a one star therapist. BUT feelings have been better. I'm learning bit by bit where the anxiety is from (trauma).

Thanks guys for your words and advice

Glad you are better. These kinds of things do not usually just go away. They likely are neurally wired to the seat of your soul. Literally. Neurochemically. 100 percent serious, here. Please gently continue to try to move int the miasma with one you trust, so you can find the light on the other side. Hugs and love.