[bpcyclist]

Just wondering what symptom folks seem to find the most challenging to deal with? Our illnesses are all so different. For me, it is hard to say, really. It can all be so hard. But definitely, overall, when I have been both manic and psychotic at the same time, that is the hardest for me. I feel so consumed and overwhelmed and quite often, just like I am going to die at any moment. Then, mu anxiety gets going and oh boy...

Anyway, share if you like. Thanks!!!!

[childofchaos831]

Anxiety and irritability. Our mania usually manifests as irritable energy and agitation. We take one PRN for agitation and a different PRN for anxiety. But ya, those would be the ones that get us the most...

[Wander]

Severe agitation and psychosis are the worst. My life is in serious danger at those times and the feeling is beyond unbearable. Unfortunately, my most common episode is mixed so I experienced agitation frequently until I was put on Geodon 16 months ago. Thankfully, it stopped the mood episodes and thus psychosis. Suffered for decades before finding the right med though. I still have horrible flashbacks from times when I was severely unwell.

highs/ lows in general.

it creates so much stress, so many mixed messages around friends, so many issues with keeping people near, etc etc

and imsomnia

I mean what do you do at 2 A.M in the morning

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

Anxiety and irritability. Our mania usually manifests as irritable energy and agitation. We take one PRN for agitation and a different PRN for anxiety. But ya, those would be the ones that get us the most...

I get really hot when I am anxious

it's scary in itself

it's like my temperature skyrockets, causing more anxiety than I all ready have.

thankfully I just use my summer spray that I have to cool me down. it sometimes works..

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

and imsomnia


I mean what do you do at 2 A.M in the morning

OMG yes! Except it is currently 4:21 am here...

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I get really hot when I am anxious


it's scary in itself


it's like my temperature skyrockets, causing more anxiety than I all ready have.


thankfully I just use my summer spray that I have to cool me down. it sometimes works..

Our heart races. And breathing gets faster. We take a beta blocker for anxiety to help with those. It actually helps more than other meds we've tried.

Apparently spending... Though, that may or may not be a BP thing...

If we ignore that, then probably apathy because I do not get any work done and I can't be bothered to do ANYTHING, which has its own set of consequences.

I think I just get mild depressions a lot nowadays, and apathy is how those depressions manifest themselves. I do get some bad depressions sometimes, but 80% of my depressions are purely apathetic, while the other 20% is a mix of melancholy and apathy.

I assume when you write "most difficult" that you mean "hardest to tolerate"? Or do you mean "most problematic"? For me, the hardest to tolerate isn't always most problematic, and vice versa.

I guess my hardest to tolerate symptoms have been delusions of persecution. They get really bad and usually land me in the hospital, or almost in the hospital. People definitely know that something is terribly wrong with me. There's usually no hiding them. Some have been so painful that they left me scarred (traumatized) to various degrees.

As for most problematic, I would say the great decrease in my stress tolerance. This has worsened over the course of my life. It is what disables me. It is what brings about all other problematic symptoms, the list of which is quite long and includes the delusions. I try to thicken my figurative skin, strengthen my constitution, etc, but it is difficult. I try to avoid old flawed crutches, like alcohol, which eventually backfired and exacerbated my situation. My goal is to extend the length of time between serious episodes, to avoid the kindling effect.

Strengthening my constitution isn't an easy feat, for sure. And I know that it involves many things (therapeutic work, healthful diet, exercise, mindfulness, my medications, improved insight, action plans, just to name a few). Fern46 is, to me, a great example of someone who takes many of these quite seriously. I try not to be too hard on myself about not being perfect at doing these. Expectations of perfection are, themselves, barriers for me. Self-imposed. Not of others.

[Fuzzybear]

Anxiety, irritability, anger, severe depression, racing thoughts with garbage thought features

Possible trigger:

su ideation

[swimmingly]

This is definitely an intriguing question and I've enjoyed reading the answers thus far.

I think I'm all over the board with this. I'm recently out of the hospital (91 days and counting), and five years since initial diagnosis but learning so much every single day. I'm fighting my symptoms every day, but they are the little ones that exhaust me now. They feel petty next to the ones that other posters have mentioned so far, I'm stuck in a longer cycle of depression currently.

I'm a little embarrassed to say that I'm monitoring the little things now, like am I showering. Am I snapping at my kids? Am I able to sleep well with a slightly reduced dose of trazodone?

The hardest one for me is the showering. Someone on another forum gave me some insight last night to check google for more info on that. When I don't shower, its a sign that I'm not taking care of myself.

Am I missing the mark on this? Set me straight please. I want to take part effectively in the conversations here.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by swimmingly

This is definitely an intriguing question and I've enjoyed reading the answers thus far.

I think I'm all over the board with this. I'm recently out of the hospital (91 days and counting), and five years since initial diagnosis but learning so much every single day. I'm fighting my symptoms every day, but they are the little ones that exhaust me now. They feel petty next to the ones that other posters have mentioned so far, I'm stuck in a longer cycle of depression currently.

I'm a little embarrassed to say that I'm monitoring the little things now, like am I showering. Am I snapping at my kids? Am I able to sleep well with a slightly reduced dose of trazodone?

The hardest one for me is the showering. Someone on another forum gave me some insight last night to check google for more info on that. When I don't shower, its a sign that I'm not taking care of myself.

Am I missing the mark on this? Set me straight please. I want to take part effectively in the conversations here.

Oh yikes showering, I won’t even comment on that. I can’t set you straight on anything though, that is not my role here (or anywhere)

Maybe not being able to set someone straight on their wrong judgments could be a symptom of my being dangerously close to no longer being on this planet.... since I find judgmental people not to be to my personal taste

Oh.... and just for the record... for any lurkers who may misunderstand me, I do not “hate doctors”.... one of my dearest and most trusted friends is a retired shrink. I would not be here maybe if it were not for a few who have been trained as professionals who listen..... unlike what I have found repeatedly in my forest judgment
“what a drag it is getting old
She is running for the shelter
Of mother’s little helper”
“to help her on her ...
Doctor please
Some more of these
Outside the door
She took 4 more
What a drag it is ......”

[HALLIEBETH87]

Anxiety is the most uncomfortable thing ever and I’ve struggled with it my whole life.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Anxiety is the most uncomfortable thing ever and I’ve struggled with it my whole life.

I completely agree and can relate

[Moose72]

Anxiety and- this isn't a symptom but a side effect- akathesia? I can't stand either one.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by swimmingly

This is definitely an intriguing question and I've enjoyed reading the answers thus far.

I think I'm all over the board with this. I'm recently out of the hospital (91 days and counting), and five years since initial diagnosis but learning so much every single day. I'm fighting my symptoms every day, but they are the little ones that exhaust me now. They feel petty next to the ones that other posters have mentioned so far, I'm stuck in a longer cycle of depression currently.

I'm a little embarrassed to say that I'm monitoring the little things now, like am I showering. Am I snapping at my kids? Am I able to sleep well with a slightly reduced dose of trazodone?

The hardest one for me is the showering. Someone on another forum gave me some insight last night to check google for more info on that. When I don't shower, its a sign that I'm not taking care of myself.

Am I missing the mark on this? Set me straight please. I want to take part effectively in the conversations here.

I think it is terrific that you are watching some of these things with yourself. Good od you. For me, though I love scuba diving and have done it all my life, I have developed an intense fear of water touching my body--almost a phobia-level issue. It is almost imposible for me to get in the shower anymore. I have to be creative in cleaning myself up...

[Fuzzybear]

anxiety ...

[Fuzzybear]

Showering

agitation/irritability

[Living in LaLa Land]

Anxiety, which causes my insomnia. When my brain refuses to shut up, I get nothing done. No sleep. No writing (I'm a writer). Nothing. I just sit and hear my obsessive thoughts run over and over in my head. Getting silence is an ordeal.

Physically, anything that affects my breathing drives me crazy. Also, I cannot stand dry mouth. I drink water all night which affects my sleep. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

[Victoria'smom]

Paranoia, it's exhausting.

[*Beth*]

The severe anxiety that can happen as a part of a dysphoric mania. Sheer Hell. That level of anxiety usually causes me to obsessively ruminate about something (usually a fear, but not always; sometimes it's just a random thought, memory, sounds, etc.). My mind gets focused in and stuck on one subject and it becomes larger than life, all I can think about, even in my sleep there it is.

[Miss Laura]

Psychosis;

Paranoia about everything from people staring at me to my skin crawling to police bugged me

Delusions some are the same as above but then there is God and stuff like that

Hallucinations talking to peopke I see can be problematic and upsetting for me

I also find cause i can't "catch" the symptoms I get stressed out like pressured speech I don't even know I'm doing it I speak fast on a normal day its the joys of being from my city. Being loud is another one that stresses me out as again I don't know I'm doing it.

Apparently i can get quite obnoxious when high so that's one i try to curve as well no-ibe likes a biatch do they.

Also the need to apologise to EVERYONE for being "ill" its a compulsion. If I'm "ill" and come out of it I go around apoligising to people incase I hurt or offended them

All of the above are difficult for me to handle... there are probably more I can't think right now i might come back to this question at a later date lol!

[cashart10]

Same as you...mania with psychosis...and those are usually the most severe also. Included in this is mania/psychosis related paranoia.

[Polibeth]

Depression - it's the most tiresome