[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband and I will be heading back to France today, but southern France and by car. I'm glad.

We highly enjoyed our visit to a Joan Miro art museum yesterday. I adore Miro's art. Plus, the views of Barcelona from the high hill location were lovely. There were also pleasant parks there with palm trees that had huge nests full of Quaker parrots. Afterwards, we ate a nice lunch at a lovely restaurant nearby.

@fern46, I have actually thought of you a few times during my trip. Something I noticed a lot of in both France and Spain were ferns. In Paris, there was a scooter taxi (almost like a motorized rickshaw) that had mini ferns on the foot platform. Many shops, windows, and gardens had ferns. I wish I had photographed the scooter, but I didn't. Attached is a glimpse of Barcelona from the hill at the Joan Miro museum.

Lovely...

[Mountaindewed]

I get my period in 8 days. No wonder I’ve been such a complete physical and emotional wreck since Tuesday. Why the **** did I not think of that instead of completely panicking? Also I forgot my parents wedding anniversary on the 10th so I didn’t text my mom, and I just now remembered it’s my brothers 30th birthday today. I mean, I know I have a lot of **** going on but I gotta pay more attention to stuff. I feel like my Xanax is destroying my mind.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband and I will be heading back to France today, but southern France and by car. I'm glad.

We highly enjoyed our visit to a Joan Miro art museum yesterday. I adore Miro's art. Plus, the views of Barcelona from the high hill location were lovely. There were also pleasant parks there with palm trees that had huge nests full of Quaker parrots. Afterwards, we ate a nice lunch at a lovely restaurant nearby.

@fern46, I have actually thought of you a few times during my trip. Something I noticed a lot of in both France and Spain were ferns. In Paris, there was a scooter taxi (almost like a motorized rickshaw) that had mini ferns on the foot platform. Many shops, windows, and gardens had ferns. I wish I had photographed the scooter, but I didn't. Attached is a glimpse of Barcelona from the hill at the Joan Miro museum.

How lovely! I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed the museum. It sounds like things are moving at a comfortable pace and in a good direction.

Thanks for thinking of me. You've been on my mind. I'm hopeful the rest of the trip goes well.

I have been trying out yet another new radio station.

it is called " atlantic storm", and it's catchphrase is " music rashing in with the waves"

most of it so far has been 90's dance, which I honestly don't mind. it's not my favorite, but it's okay

today on who wants to be a milionaire, a guy won the jackpot. it's the only the 7th time it's been done in the show's history (I wonder if their is any milionaire in america?)

but the guy was amazing. reached question 15 and still had 3 lifelines

that about wraps up the series for another year, but they've all ready said they are looking for contestants for the new series.

not doing much in terms of being productive, I'v not even decided on dinner yet (I had mcdonalds yesterday, it really filled me up)

feel good just the same tired of the same feeling I guess

[Daonnachd]

I feel dysphoric hypomania looming in the back of my mind. I wonder if it's due to the ECT yesterday.

Really debating even going in to work today. With the smoke, 1 block away is completely obscured. As in, can't see anything. This sucks. It is even worse than yesterday, a fact that was immediately apparent looking out the window. Even inside, my lungs are hurting some.

I know I'm kind of whining, what with others not that far away having to evacuate, but damn, this is nasty! What I wouldn't do for some nice deep breaths of actual clean air.

I'd post a pic, but don't know how (as it's not online).

Trying to not let my mental state go down the tubes. It's all getting a bit much.

Hugs for everyone, especially my fellow wildfire smoke sufferers.

[Gabyunbound]

As I've posted here before, I've made it to the other side of a mixed episode.

However, I have been unable to get onto a good sleep schedule, which is vital to any semblance of mental health.

I couldn't sleep after the Zyprexa was lowered to 5mg, so I reached out to my pdoc and she has prescribed 50 mg of Seroquel just for sleep. So I'll have tapered off the Zyprexa after tonight, but will be adding seroquel. I hate, despise, and loathe seroquel, it's hangover and etc. But I just have to sleep. I think I'm going to start by cutting the pill in half and seeing if 25 mg will be enough. Let's hope it will be.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

As I've posted here before, I've made it to the other side of a mixed episode.

However, I have been unable to get onto a good sleep schedule, which is vital to any semblance of mental health.

I couldn't sleep after the Zyprexa was lowered to 5mg, so I reached out to my pdoc and she has prescribed 50 mg of Seroquel just for sleep. So I'll have tapered off the Zyprexa after tonight, but will be adding seroquel. I hate, despise, and loathe seroquel, it's hangover and etc. But I just have to sleep. I think I'm going to start by cutting the pill in half and seeing if 25 mg will be enough. Let's hope it will be.

In my experience 25 mg is plenty enough to induce sleep. I've even done fairly well on 12.5 mg. I hate Seroquel, too. Why take 50 if you can get by on 25? Also, with 25 if you absolutely need to, you can increase it to 50mg if the 25 stops working.

[MissUdy]

Sorry I know I don’t really post here. For the last week I’ve been really up and I know I have been dreading coming down and it’s happening now and I hate it. I’m scared and I don’t want to be alone with it again, and I don’t want to pretend and I don’t want to lose the world I’ve been living in all over again I can’t do it.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel a lot better today. Better then I have all week. I don’t know. Maybe I just really missed my mom. It’s also my brothers birthday which means birthday cake and restaurant food. But yeah today was good. I think I drank too much caffeine though. I’m not anxious my face just feels like I got hit with a baseball and my heart is pounding a bit. I had a ton of coffee and black tea and Mountain Dew and Coke today.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by MissUdy

Sorry I know I don’t really post here. For the last week I’ve been really up and I know I have been dreading coming down and it’s happening now and I hate it. I’m scared and I don’t want to be alone with it again, and I don’t want to pretend and I don’t want to lose the world I’ve been living in all over again I can’t do it.

@MissUdy, don't feel you need to apologise for posting or for not posting. Do what fits your comfort level. In fact, would you want to start your own thread to solicit support in how things are going for you right now?

a'best

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Really debating even going in to work today. With the smoke, 1 block away is completely obscured. As in, can't see anything. This sucks. It is even worse than yesterday, a fact that was immediately apparent looking out the window. Even inside, my lungs are hurting some.

I know I'm kind of whining, what with others not that far away having to evacuate, but damn, this is nasty! What I wouldn't do for some nice deep breaths of actual clean air.

I'd post a pic, but don't know how (as it's not online).

Trying to not let my mental state go down the tubes. It's all getting a bit much.

Hugs for everyone, especially my fellow wildfire smoke sufferers.

There is a thing that you can buy for extra oxygen. It is called boost oxygen. hubby bought it at academy sporting good store. you can probably buy it on line. or on their web site:
Home | All-Natural Respiratory Support | Oxygen to Go

he was having shortness of breath, he was "air hungry" he sees a pulmonologist on the 22nd. gets a cat scan done on monday to rule out a lung blood cot. He has been having chest pains so the cardi dr. had him do a tread mill test and he did even better this time than he did 5 years ago. his dad had Coronary artery disease and had 4 way bypass surgery. so it is good news that his heart is in good shape.

bizi 2020 is a sucky year.

[Moose72]

I ruined my Saturday. Caleb was working so I could've talked with him- unusual for him to work a Saturday. But NO! I had to dream and dream and dream my way to missing 5 phone calls and several more texts because I just couldn't wake up! Just dream after dream after dream! I suck. I hate wasting days. I hate waking up when I've slept too much, too, because I'm all dirty and over-slept. Meh. But I think I'll just go do my usual evening routine even so. I mean I did have my normal lunch. I'm not sure whether or not I'll make dinner, just because I already just had lunch. Maybe I'll have a protein shake later.

HUGS to everyone dealing with the fires and the smoke!

[*Beth*]

Something was wrong with my sleep early this morning and I've never worked my mind out today. I feel all checked out and very odd. The way I feel right now, the way my brain feels, is one of those times when I really believe BD is some type of seizure disorder. Or perhaps just that it is a neurological disorder is enough to cause odd symptoms.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by MissUdy

Sorry I know I don’t really post here. For the last week I’ve been really up and I know I have been dreading coming down and it’s happening now and I hate it. I’m scared and I don’t want to be alone with it again, and I don’t want to pretend and I don’t want to lose the world I’ve been living in all over again I can’t do it.

We posted on your thread. Hugs.

I recommend you checkin at least once a day here. Tell us how you are feeling. We will support you. Hang in there. Do not give up. You will push thru this.

Love.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I ruined my Saturday. Caleb was working so I could've talked with him- unusual for him to work a Saturday. But NO! I had to dream and dream and dream my way to missing 5 phone calls and several more texts because I just couldn't wake up! Just dream after dream after dream! I suck. I hate wasting days. I hate waking up when I've slept too much, too, because I'm all dirty and over-slept. Meh. But I think I'll just go do my usual evening routine even so. I mean I did have my normal lunch. I'm not sure whether or not I'll make dinner, just because I already just had lunch. Maybe I'll have a protein shake later.

HUGS to everyone dealing with the fires and the smoke!

We don't suck cuz we are tired.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Something was wrong with my sleep early this morning and I've never worked my mind out today. I feel all checked out and very odd. The way I feel right now, the way my brain feels, is one of those times when I really believe BD is some type of seizure disorder. Or perhaps just that it is a neurological disorder is enough to cause odd symptoms.

I believe bipolar is a neurological disorder, too. It has to be brain-based or why would they try to fix it with brain drugs?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Something was wrong with my sleep early this morning and I've never worked my mind out today. I feel all checked out and very odd. The way I feel right now, the way my brain feels, is one of those times when I really believe BD is some type of seizure disorder. Or perhaps just that it is a neurological disorder is enough to cause odd symptoms.

I feel electricity tingling across my brain, back to front, when I down-cycle. Since childhood. I came to know this meant my bad eye was going to hurt and lose vision and then I would be sad and hopeless. Bad memory and IQ drop. I do believe these are szr disorders.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I feel electricity tingling across my brain, back to front, when I down-cycle. Since childhood. I came to know this meant my bad eye was going to hurt and lose vision and then I would be sad and hopeless. Bad memory and IQ drop. I do believe these are szr disorders.

I'm in on that assertion as well. My entire scalp tingles. Headaches. Nausea. Vision disturbances. Ear ringing. Its not just a mood thing or a chemical imbalance.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Really debating even going in to work today. With the smoke, 1 block away is completely obscured. As in, can't see anything. This sucks. It is even worse than yesterday, a fact that was immediately apparent looking out the window. Even inside, my lungs are hurting some.

I know I'm kind of whining, what with others not that far away having to evacuate, but damn, this is nasty! What I wouldn't do for some nice deep breaths of actual clean air.

I'd post a pic, but don't know how (as it's not online).

Trying to not let my mental state go down the tubes. It's all getting a bit much.

Hugs for everyone, especially my fellow wildfire smoke sufferers.

You are NOT whining at all.. I feel terrible for anyone living in these insane wild fire area.. I dont know how you and anyone can handle it ..

Take good care of you

[Coolbreeze74]

My eye is feeling better. Its not pink eye, my son has never gotten it and the medicine they gave me for pink eye only made it worse.

The increased invega my son is taking isnt really working. Its been like 3 days.

Lots of smoke here. Whole west coast is burning and full of smoke.

Hope everyone has a good day or night. hugs to those struggling.

[bpcyclist]

Air quality index right now is 504, worst of any big city on earth. Cannot see 200 yds, as IZ said. I do not know how this gigantic state w a tiny population of 5 million is going to survive. Pls pray for OR, WA, and CA.

I'm tired of empty day after empty day. Nothing to look forward to.

I've been taking my dog out for potty for two weeks. Today was the first day it was really hard. I took her out for her late-afternoon break and she wanted to go out again three hours later! I was so angry with her! Usually she lasts until bedtime. I'm so sorry i ever got her. She was a manic purchase. Now i'm in love with her and it's too late. Six more weeks at least of taking her out for potty. I don't know how i'm going to do it. I'm sick of her!

So that's my life: servant to a dog, narcotizing myself with food, sleeping as long as possible and dozing as long as possible. I'm only up for about seven hours a day, in the evening. I tried to talk to a neighbor today outside but she was so senile she couldn't remember the movie she'd just watched. "The one with all the dogs," was what she said. I excused myself quickly.

I hate my life.

[*Beth*]

[Soupe du jour]

The stress of my trip is starting to get to me. Yesterday I had a bit of a freak out. I barely want to describe it. It had to do with how stress/anxiety makes me even clumsier than I usually am. And I am quite clumsy because of my medications. As I ranted walking down the street, I punched myself in my jaw once, when people finally passed. Hubby yelled at me to stop.

I'm not thrilled about where we are staying in France. It's a touristy beach resort. Hubby likes beaches much more than I do, so it's mostly for him. You can tell that locals get sick of tourists. I do get that, having grown up in a touristy town. But it's not what I wanted to feel here. At a supermarket, someone likely deliberately scratched the door of our rental car with a coin, or similar. The rental car has Spain license plates. Hubby thinks they did that because it's a nice new car. I think Spain plates probably played more of a part.

I had hoped we would stay in an area where we might consider living. Not a touristy beach resort. Gotta admit that yesterday makes me wish we could move on to another place, but Hubby has us booked at the beach resort for about five days. He likes to do all of the planning for trips, rarely asking for feedback, so it's always his choices. Boo hiss!

I decided to take an extra 50 mg Seroquel XR today, but to my morning dose. I have taken that extra amount many times in the past (in the morning and/or added to my 650 mg evening) with no problems. It doesn't tire me out, just calms any developing mood elevation, anxiety, agitation, and irritability/freak out tendencies. If everything calms, I will eliminate the 50 mg again.