[imaginethat]

I've been manic for several weeks. My nurse practitioner increased Lamictal from 200 mg to 400 mg. That didn't work. She switched Latuda to Abilify. That didn't work. Then she added Zyprexa, which I took for three days. I guess the combination of all of these drugs was too much because I couldn't walk straight and I had double vision. She said to decrease Lamictal back down to 200 mg and stop the Zyprexa.

Since then, I've been feeling light headed with a lot of pressure inside my head. I've been stumbling when I walk. Sometimes I can't find the words I want to say. The ER doctor did a neurological test that turned out OK. All of my blood tests were fine. CT scans and MRIs don't show a concussion, but they didn't show tumors, which is good.

I've been off work for a week. Tomorrow's Monday and it's time to decide whether I need to go back.

My mom says I'll lose my job if I stay out of work longer. And then I'll lose my house. I already have a great fear of becoming a bag lady. My mom doesn't help. I don't know why I go to her for comfort.

You guys are always such a big help. Do you think that it's too early to go back to work? Is it more likely for me to lose my job if I don't go back to work tomorrow? I'm really scared about trying to use my brain and it doesn't work. I work with a lot of people who would notice, and that would be embarrassing.

[bpcyclist]

I am so sorry you are struggling with mania now, Imagine. I have been there so many times. Not really sure how many. North of 50, full-blown, for sure.

So, I connect with you personally and profoundly. My heart is literally right there beside you now. Honesty.

So. What are all current meds and dosages? Are you compliant? No judging. I have an app to remind me to take mine, or I forget.

Have you ever tried Drpakote or lithium and for how long? Depakote is a mania crusher. Four days of a goodly dose and you are very likely sleeping again and way, way down and thinking more clearly. Safer, too.

Are you safe right now? Are you alone?

Pls. do not shop online or in person. Do not email, text, phone, or otherwise contact anyone unless it is to say basically, "My bipolar buds say I am manic. I am super scared."

Di not have sex or hit on anyone online or otherwise. Do not join any dating or shopping sites. All things we here have done before.

Or words to that effect, in terms of the quote above. If you need immediate support, I would come here and or call a crisis line or ER or 911 or the NP.

People will be around all night. It is currently 0419 hrs in London and Edinborough, so, the Europe people will be getting up soon and the west coast USA folks are still awake. PM me any time fir anything. Do not make ANY MAJOR DECISION OF ANY KIND without first running it by someone. Preferably a person who understands mania well.

Hugs. You will get though this! Do not give up! We are all here for you.

[imaginethat]

@bpcyclist, your words bring tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I can feel your support, and I really appreciate it.

I take my meds faithfully except for a day here and there when I forget. That doesn't happen much though because I end up feeling extremely lethargic and confused. Especially now that I feel so hopeless and need some kind of answer, I'm taking the meds when I should.

It's really hard not to shop because the products bring some satisfaction and fun and it's a distraction from the emotional pain. I'm not making big purchases, just little ones but they do count up. And I am returning lots of stuff that I don't need or really like. There's a sign of some ability to reason now that I'm no longer in the manic phase.

I am safe and alone, thank you. No desire to kill myself. Just a desire for the emotional pain to be over. Luckily I have an appointment with my NP and therapist this week. God do I need their help.

Promiscuity isn't a problem for me. My self esteem is pretty low due to many extra pounds, and I'm too shy to pick up a guy in a bar.

It's so comforting to know that you're there for support and others in different time zones are there. I hope I can support you someday.

[bpcyclist]

Oh. Okay. Glad you are safe. Do you feel like the current meds are prolly gonna work for you, or is a change maybe needed or something?

[imaginethat]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Oh. Okay. Glad you are safe. Do you feel like the current meds are prolly gonna work for you, or is a change maybe needed or something?

I think that now that I'm out of the manic phase, my meds are okay.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sending hugs

[bpcyclist]

Be well!!