[pumpernickel1]

I had a tragedy strike recently. My grandma, who raised me part of my life, died in a car accident. I am so distraught from that tragedy and also I need to move into section 8 housing and my family is berating me for it. I've been disabled for 3 years for bipolar and also a head injury. The section 8 housing is in my little town of 1500 people and is only 10 units, mostly elderly people so it's very nice. I'm just so shameful right now that I need to move into there. My mom and stepdad are telling me I'm just lazy. I feel like if one more crisis strikes my life in the next few weeks, I'm going to lose it. I don't like feelings of shame. I'm tired of living with shame. Am I right to have shame about this? Should I have tried harder? These questions are all swirling in my head and all I want is rest.

[bpcyclist]

No! No! Wrong!

They are all wrong! And cruel. And clueless. Let us see what they have to say when their house burns down and insurance sucks and they end up living at the Red Cross for 8 months. Who is the lazy one now, judgers? Huh? Huh? Who is lazy now, geniuses? Perfect people?

They lack insight. God has a way of addressing that, often painfully. You are so lucky to have a nice place to go. That is what we as Americans have set up for our sisters and brothers in exactly this situation. Heartless people who judge are headed fir disaster. Karma, baby. You are wonderful and beautiful. Please help someone in need when you are able to. That is how we love and support each other. Screw the haters. We got you, girl.

[pumpernickel1]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

No! No! Wrong!

They are all wrong! And cruel. And clueless. Let us see what they have to say when their house burns down and insurance sucks and they end up living at the Red Cross for 8 months. Who is the lazy one now, judgers? Huh? Huh? Who is lazy now, geniuses? Perfect people?

They lack insight. God has a way of addressing that, often painfully. You are so lucky to have a nice place to go. That is what we as Americans have set up for our sisters and brothers in exactly this situation. Heartless people who judge are headed fir disaster. Karma, baby. You are wonderful and beautiful. Please help someone in need when you are able to. That is how we love and support each other. Screw the haters. We got you, girl.

I just hope I don't ever have to rely on them or ask them for a favor anymore. And I will be able to be more independent if I move into section 8. I'll have more money which means I'll never need to ask them for a thing again!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by pumpernickel1

I just hope I don't ever have to rely on them or ask them for a favor anymore. And I will be able to be more independent if I move into section 8. I'll have more money which means I'll never need to ask them for a thing again!

I have section 8. Section 8 is a blessing! You are very lucky to have gotten it. There are usually very long lines waiting to get in- even lotteries to get in!

[Nammu]

What moose said. This is a blessing. Sec 8 helped me to achieve stability. It exists just because there is a need for it. And you are one of those. Nothing shameful about it at all.

[lightly toasted]

Thank goodness the housing is there for you, Pumpernickel

You have no reason, none, to feel shame. Good on you for reaching out and getting the help you need.

The shame belongs to your mom and stepdad ...seriously -shame on them

[RoxanneToto]

My jaw dropped when I read what your family said! Seriously. They’re totally out of order for saying all that. But I’m pleased you said that your life will be better there. You know what’s best for you and you’re entitled to it. No need to feel ashamed, because if we could choose to be 100% healthy, there would be no sick people.

[*Beth*]

Absolutely zero need for shame. Anyone who passes judgment for having sec 8 housing is ignorant. I'm sorry you're stuck with family who can be dipsh*ts. Congratulations on getting your sec 8 housing. Brightest blessings!

[fern46]

Your feelings are your feelings. You are not wrong to have them. However, if you identify with them and cling to them you will experience pain and suffering as result. They are not reality, they are feelings. Identification and clinging are choices and there are alternatives.

It sounds like you are doing what you can to stay healthy and take care of your basic human needs. If others judge you for that, so be it, but you do not need to justify or resonate with their judgments. You are free to judge yourself.

You qualify for the housing and it is of aid to you at this time. If you had other choices I imagine you might explore those, but this is the option that works best for you at the moment. You can either make the best of it of judge yourself harshly for it.

As for your family, there are many possibilities. You can ignore them. You can distance yourself from them. You can agree with them. You can argue with them. You can let them know you hear them, but you do not agree. You can point out to them that your housing situation is none of their business if you aren't asking them to contribute.

Each of these options carries a certain amount of value and that amount is subjective and wholly based upon you. I would suggest maybe trying to detach from your feelings for a while and assess which option carries the most value and then pursue that.

[Victoria'smom]

Before Sec. 8 My family and I were chronically homeless. It was not due to laziness.

[neverending]

I am on section 8 too and am glad to be on it. My apartment is beaitiful and having to pay rent and utilities no longer completely takes up my soc sec payments.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by neverending

I am on section 8 too and am glad to be on it. My apartment is beaitiful and having to pay rent and utilities no longer completely takes up my soc sec payments.

Yes! This! I just moved to a smaller/cheaper place and I will have a little more money each month now, too.

[Fuzzybear]

I also think screw the haters. Please help someone else in need when you can.

[mugwort2]

Pumpernickel there is absolutely no shame in taking care of your needs and housing is on top of that list. Being homless or any housing change can happen to anyone, everyone. You did the right thing. I think your family is wrong berating you. You did what you needed to do. So please no guilt or self berating. You did nothing wrong or shameful. Huggzzz

[pumpernickel1]

Thank you all! I am feeling much better. Having this online community really helps me as I'm super introverted and don't vent to many people.

[bpcyclist]

We are just like you. We are all the same. We love you and we are here for you. My brother will not even speak to me. He never acknowledged the birth of my precious daughter, his niece. Humans. So sad. Our pride mskes us do hurtful things.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

We are just like you. We are all the same. We love you and we are here for you. My brother will not even speak to me. He never acknowledged the birth of my precious daughter, his niece. Humans. So sad. Our pride mskes us do hurtful things.

I agree with this. We are all the same (as is). My brother (half brother) will not speak to me.

I completely agree that as humans our Pride makes us do hurtful things

Possible trigger:

Although I was not anyone's ''precious daughter'' (and I am female ) I am precious to Papa bear

and my half ''brother'' insulted Papa bear too by rejecting me. Papa bear is nothing but kindness and love, as I try to be

love to all

[sarahsweets]

That is terrible! Section 8 has guidelines and I assume you have met them! In this world, no one should have to struggle for housing yet many do. Ignore them and if they continue to shame you tell them you will cut off contact if need be.

[Bipolarchic14]

I understand your pain. I lost my job in September and now I have state insurance. I feel so ashamed I was actually crying when I picked up my prescriptions the other day. I just can’t wait until I am employed again and more self-reliant but I totally understand your pain. Also my mom actually worked for section 8 when she was alive. She used to be so happy that she had a job that was rewarding to be able to help those in need. I wish you luck and I’m really happy that you have some safe stable housing. Let it be a nice foundation for a better future.

[Moose72]

I paid my rent today. I paid October's on October 20th since we didn't know what my portion was going to be until then. And then I paid November's today so that's a lot. But I want to buy some lights for my balcony. Someone a few apartments down has white lights on their balcony! I think I'm going to get colored ones.

@Bipolarchic14 You shouldn't feel ashamed for having state insurance. You qualify I'm sure or they wouldn't have given it to you. And applying for it is not easy! You did all that hard work and you deserve to get it. And this is just a temporary thing until you get a new job.