[MuddyBoots]

Congratulations, WFC! How exciting!!!!

Sorry, Christina to hear about your mini stroke. Scary! Sending warm thoughts. Ill be praying for you tonight

[MuddyBoots]

Ive spent 80% of my waking hours pacing and talking to myself this week, which is normal for me but bad now because I gotta let my knee heal. Even now I’m rocking back and forth and bouncing my leg. I gotta figure out how to physically calm down for however long itll be before I can run again. I actually cant wait for therapy so I can ask how to calm down and focus and do things without overdoing them. Hopefully she’ll be able to help me make a plan because I have done nothing productive in like a month except maybe I did laundry and went grocery shopping. If I can learn to focus and do things maybe I can go back to school or work and actually do a good enough job that I can put professors/employers on a resume and get a better job! If I can learn tips and tricks to function normally, there are so many possibilities!

[Soupe du jour]

@wildflowerchild25, that's AMAZING news! It sure is lovely to read such a romantic thing this evening. Congratulations!

@~Christina, I have been thinking about you. I'm so sorry to read about your scary health issue. I'm glad you're home now and hope you fully recover, quickly.

@bpcyclist, I am almost blown away by you writing that you are moving back to NYC. It's quite a surprise. I confess that I don't quite know what to make of that news. I say that with concern and affection. I will say that if you do return to the Tri-state area, you will be a welcome gift to us all. I do not know when you plan to move, but right now is quite an interesting time in the city. A bit scary with the pandemic, of course, but you would surely see a different place, with some good changes amidst the hardships.

Speaking of New York City, BethRags, you asked for me to share some photos. We had to get out of our house for most of the day because of our first house showings. There were 15 today, alone, from 9:00 am almost every half hour up until 5:00 pm. We drove to Jersey City and parked there to take a PATH subway train directly to the World Trade Center area. We hadn't visited that area since right before 9-11-2001. I thought it was in July 2001, but Hubby said it was in August, just three weeks before that horrible day. We took our nephew to the top. Anyway, it is extremely lovely how they designed the memorial and the areas that replaced the tragically affected blocks. The beauty of the sunny autumn day made the experience uniquely significant. Attached are some photos I took today. It was quite chilly outside, but beautiful skies. Sorry that a few are 90° to 180° off, in terms of image rotation. It's too late to fix them right now. Got another busy day tomorrow.

* The white building interior is the World Trade Center place subway station. It is all new (had to be) and likely the most beautiful of NYC subway spot of them all.

* The fountains of water falling into pits are where the two towers stood. Two fountains. All with the perished victims' names engraved along the perimeters.

* The lovely autumn leafed tree is called "The Survivor Tree". It happened to be the only tree that survived that tragedy, in the affected area. It now thrives.

* The tall shining unique glass building is called One World Trade Center. It was glistening in the sun, spectacularly. Most of that area is now a highly guarded pedestrian zone. Because of the pandemic, there were very few visitors. A strange experience in the huge city, in and of itself! Also pictured is a unique white rib-like sculpture that fits well in the memorial grounds.

First day on the market and my husband and I already received our first offer for our house. And above the listing price. We're feeling happy about that and curious what the end price will be. Tomorrow is the open house.

[Moose72]

I'm in bed reading with my hot water bottle filling me with delicious warmth- like a mug of hot chocolate going down into my stomach- wearing sweats and warm socks under my new sheets and squishy comforter. Last night, I stayed up reading until 1 a.m.! That can't happen tonight. Im so glad I moved my touch lamp next to my bed. This makes it easy to turn it on and off when I want to read.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

@wildflowerchild25, that's AMAZING news! It sure is lovely to read such a romantic thing this evening. Congratulations!

@~Christina, I have been thinking about you. I'm so sorry to read about your scary health issue. I'm glad you're home now and hope you fully recover, quickly.

@bpcyclist, I am almost blown away by you writing that you are moving back to NYC. It's quite a surprise. I confess that I don't quite know what to make of that news. I say that with concern and affection. I will say that if you do return to the Tri-state area, you will be a welcome gift to us all. I do not know when you plan to move, but right now is quite an interesting time in the city. A bit scary with the pandemic, of course, but you would surely see a different place, with some good changes amidst the hardships.

Speaking of New York City, BethRags, you asked for me to share some photos. We had to get out of our house for most of the day because of our first house showings. There were 15 today, alone, from 9:00 am almost every half hour up until 5:00 pm. We drove to Jersey City and parked there to take a Path subway train directly to the World Trade Center area. We hadn't visited that area since right before 9-11-2001. I thought it was in July 2001, but Hubby said it was in August, just three weeks before that horrible day. We took our nephew to the top. Anyway, it is extremely lovely how they designed the memorial and the areas that replaced the tragically affected blocks. The beauty of the sunny autumn day made the experience uniquely significant. Attached are some photos I took today. It was quite chilly outside, but beautiful skies.

The white building interior is the World Trade Center place subway station. It is all new (had to be) and likely the most beautiful of NYC subway spot of them all.

The fountains of water falling into pits are where the two towers stood. Two fountains. All with the perished victims' names engraved along the perimeters.

The lovely autumn leafed tree is called "The Survivor Tree". It happened to be the only tree that survived that tragedy, in the affected area. It now thrives.

The tall shining unique glass building is called World Trade Center One. It was glistening in the sun, spectacularly. Most of that area is now a highly guarded pedestrian zone. Because of the pandemic, there were very few visitors. A strange experience in the huge city, in and of itself!

First day on the market and my husband and I already received our first offer for our house. And above the listing price. We're feeling happy about that and curious what the end price will be. Tomorrow is the open house.

Great pics!!!!! Woohoo!!

Yeah, the move is really a head fake. 1 yr. maybe. Then, likely, back here with some type of Rogue River Casa U Betcha for weekends.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Ive spent 80% of my waking hours pacing and talking to myself this week, which is normal for me but bad now because I gotta let my knee heal. Even now I’m rocking back and forth and bouncing my leg. I gotta figure out how to physically calm down for however long itll be before I can run again. I actually cant wait for therapy so I can ask how to calm down and focus and do things without overdoing them. Hopefully she’ll be able to help me make a plan because I have done nothing productive in like a month except maybe I did laundry and went grocery shopping. If I can learn to focus and do things maybe I can go back to school or work and actually do a good enough job that I can put professors/employers on a resume and get a better job! If I can learn tips and tricks to function normally, there are so many possibilities!

iweekends.i just love pacing.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm having a hard time finding people to gift my homeschool stuff to. It's ridiculous that I don't have any homeschooling parent friends or any friends for that matter. I have 1 homeschool contact and she's not answering me. I hope she's okay. I should know hundreds of mom's I've seen them weekly (-covid) for the past 6 years. How can it be that I know no one. Even my husband knows more mom's then me. All I want to do is give stuff away. It shouldn't be this hard! I'm so sad right now. Anxiety/Paranoia took away my ability to be friends with some very cool people. I know I should just donate to the library and move on but honestly I want the stuff to go to individuals in need..... I could go on and on about this. I'm running circles in my head without enough energy to do anything.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Went to the mountains with RS today, the same place we visited last year for our anniversary. We took another long walk around the great antique shop they have there. It was wonderful...mostly because RS pulled me into one of the back aisles, got down on one knee, and gave me a ring

So now we’re engaged!!! And in 2-3 years, I will be able to shed the last piece of my first husband that I am tied to. My last name.

I know I will be continually triggered from time to time until I fully process the trauma. But RS has shown me that he intends to stick it out with me no matter what.

This. This is what I’ve always wanted and never got. Unconditional love and support. I’m just so happy we took a chance on each other and got to where we are!

Awww--yayhyyyy!!!!!! Hooray, wfc!!!!!!#### Hooray!!!!!!!!

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Thanks everyone.. I'm doing as well as can be expected at this point. Mentally I am having lots of holes in memory, and still need the damn walker, But I need it so it will help stop any falls. I am very scared to be alone right now, My husband is watching me like a hawk..


Thanks again.. All the support is a huge comfort

I am so sorry to hear about this! You've been through so much lately, but you're a fighter. I hope things continue to get better. Take care of yourself

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi all! I got up really early today, like 5:30 AM to get to the local pharmacy to get my flu shot before it got crowded. So, I feel accomplished about that. I am also doing laundry at the shared laundry facilities before they get too busy.

I am doing okay, the Zoloft adjustment has been a bit hard and I was all restless and not sleeping enough but I think it's getting better. It might be helping my anxiety actually, but at the same time I feel a bit weird on it, like it's kind of making me feel spaced out and like I feel like I am taking a drug if that makes sense. So, we'll see if that gets better with time.

I am exercising for very short periods since I have tendonosis and really can't do too much plus need to build up to it. But I am finding it helpful. Just a ten minute run/walk in the morning can help me focus and settle down. My psychiatrist thinks I could have ADHD, but I don't think I can get tested due to Covid. However, between Wellbutrin and exercise hopefully I can get the attention and memory issues under control. I am also doing better with eating. I had lost 5-10 pounds by accident with stress and am underweight but have been working hard to fix that.

Have a nice day!

[bizi]

Wild flower, congratulations!!!! How romantic down on one knee!.
happy for you!!!!

bpcyclist, did I miss why you are moving to new york? Do you have family there?

I am sorry for you christina. ((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

...

Thank you so much for the photos, Soupe! They really give me a sense of what the memorial looks like. The Survivor Tree is a beautiful thing. Looks like the day was a sparkling one. So clear.


The last time I was in NYC was exactly 1 year before the WTC attack. So my gosh, it's been 20 years .

Hurray for getting the first offer on your house!! That's quick.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm having a hard time finding people to gift my homeschool stuff to. It's ridiculous that I don't have any homeschooling parent friends or any friends for that matter. I have 1 homeschool contact and she's not answering me. I hope she's okay. I should know hundreds of mom's I've seen them weekly (-covid) for the past 6 years. How can it be that I know no one. Even my husband knows more mom's then me. All I want to do is give stuff away. It shouldn't be this hard! I'm so sad right now. Anxiety/Paranoia took away my ability to be friends with some very cool people. I know I should just donate to the library and move on but honestly I want the stuff to go to individuals in need..... I could go on and on about this. I'm running circles in my head without enough energy to do anything.

It's hard, so hard, when that realization hits of how much this disorder has cheated me and others of things like a normal social life.

I hope you find someone to gift your homeschool items to.

[Blue_Bird]

Christina, I'm sorry to hear about your stroke. I will keep you in my prayers

WFC, congrats on your engagement!

BPCyclist, it's great to see you back!

[Blue_Bird]

I had my sister over today for coffee and pumpkin pie. It was a nice visit. She's gonna help me decorate my apartment more as a Christmas gift, so I'm looking forward to that.
Also she said my apartment looks very clean. I'm relieved about that! I guess as usual my fear about it always being a mess is just in my head. I don't know why it causes me so much grief, I'm obsessive about it.

Have a busy week coming up. Dentist appointment, shopping, seeing my friend, and going to group. The apartment complex is doing a Thanksgiving lunch thing on the 20th. They gave out menus where you could pick out everything you want and turn them back in. They'll deliver all you want in takeout containers to your door. They usually have a community meal in the community room but obviously can't do that right now due to covid. There's gonna be turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, mac and cheese, cranberry sauce, vegetables, cake, and soda or juice. I'm looking forward to it. They also signed everyone up for a Thanksgiving basket (which has a whole turkey you can cook, and all the sides you can make for yourself) a couple days before Thanksgiving. I'll probably save the turkey for another time honestly, cause after that lunch on the 20th I'm probably not gonna be in the mood to make a whole turkey. So I'll put it in my freezer and maybe make it for Christmas.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve been feeling pretty good today although I’ve had some weird angry thoughts. I’ve been very tired all day but managing not to lie down. I still feel physically weird but only at times. I guess today was ok.

[Moose72]

This is kind of rambling, but it's what was on my mind....

Re-reading "Madness" by Marya Hornbacher. I'm about 1/4 of the way through. Seems that her episodes are a lot worse than most people's- but hers started in early childhood- about age 4. I don't remember having any bipolar symptoms before age 16- EXCEPT for hearing voices at night. Might be those hypnogogic hallucinations - I heard my sister calling my name. Or at least, I thought it was my sister. I would go into fits of rage screaming at the top of my lungs toward adults when I was 15 -17. People assumed I was just being a teenager. Maybe I was. I know I had depression symptoms at age 20 I'd run away and hide- I once left work during out lunch break and drove down the street to the mall and just sat there in the middle of the mall eating my lunch among the people who were walking by. I was glad nobody knew where I was. I felt safe that way. I've also hidden under the bathroom sink trying to be all by myself where nobody could find me. I did this as a kid, too. I hid behind a book case in preschool. They found me and tried to coax me out. At age 8, I hid under/behind the winter coats in our classroom in 2nd grade. I felt safe in there. Which of these are bipolar type things and which are merely age-appropriate coping techniques I don't know. I certainly never had DBT back then. Now, I don't feel the need to hide, but it reminds me of my mom's dog that hides in a small closet or the downstairs bathroom -no windows in either. The depressions stayed with me especially during pregnancy and post-partum. I'd go catatonic sometimes. Staring blankly at the wall for ages at a time, staying in my room for hours. By 30 I was singing along with music in my earphones, riding my bike blasting away at the top of my lungs! I don't recall being as intense as Marya Hornbacher as a kid. I've always thought of myself as rather mild-mannered. My friend Caleb says I am afraid of conflict. Probably stems from having grown up in an alcoholic household. I thought everything was great when I was growing up, but it wasn't. Took me years to figure this out. So it's a mish mosh of experiences. I have always been extremely creative, seeing "little worlds" and details in everything- a keen insight into the world. Intense curiosity. I consider my early childhood to be pretty normal. It's when I went through puberty that things started to change- part hormones part bipolar.

I find i'm so ecstatic about the taste of my home-cooking and so overjoyed to be doing it that i'm overeating. I looked at the box of pancake mix and found i had SIX (6) servings yesterday! This has GOT to stop. Today i bought skim milk as i am worried about not getting enough protein and it's nature's almost perfect food. I cautiously had some and it settled fine! I even had some warm later in a mug as it's turned quite cold. I haven't had milk in years! I bought lactose-free milk just to be safe. I also bought one of Walmart's $4 two kilo bags of frozen veggies and they were delightful! Getting enough fiber is also a priority. I also bought things for a low-calorie vegetable soup as i want to continue the adventures in cooking but if it's too good to resist i want it to be something healthy.

@Blue_Bird: That's great that your supportive housing is taking such good care of you. I wouldn't have a clue what to do with a turkey! One Thanksgiving my co-worker insisted he was going to teach me but luckily i got invited out to a brunch so i got out of it! Glad your visit with your sister went well and that she admired your cleaning. I'm sure it's terrific! Any news on getting your cat?

Hugs all around!

[*Beth*]

Just had a really creepy event occur. I clicked on a website about some writings of Shakespeare. Suddenly all these boxes popped up and a voice, telling me not to proceed further. Then a box that looked completely legit, telling me to call Microsoft. Sooo I called the "Microsoft" phone number. Got a man with a heavy accent, but he spoke good English and seemed knowledgeable.

Spent a good 20 minutes having him walk me through some stuff on my computer. As the time went on, the guy started sounding impatient, even snotty. He snapped at me a couple of times. I started feeling weird. I asked him if he was trying to sell me something. He didn't reply. I asked him again. Nothing, he just went on with this monologue about how my computer had been hacked by a "foreign entity." He claimed that Microsoft would not allow me to use my computer at all, unless I purchased some program to remove whatever, whatever.

I knew then that he was a scammer. I asked what the cost of the "purchase" would be. He told me $400. !!! I said, "I don't have that money." So he replied, "You don't have it, or you're saving your money?"


He insisted that my computer would not be usable unless I paid. I said absolutely not, told him I know he's running a scam, and ended the phone call.

I manually shut down my computer. When it came back up everything was normal. I can use my computer just fine.

I feel truly victimized by the creep. I mean, he's looked inside my computer files and stuff. What a horrible experience.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I find i'm so ecstatic about the taste of my home-cooking and so overjoyed to be doing it that i'm overeating. I looked at the box of pancake mix and found i had SIX (6) servings yesterday! This has GOT to stop. Today i bought skim milk as i am worried about not getting enough protein and it's nature's almost perfect food. I cautiously had some and it settled fine! I even had some warm later in a mug as it's turned quite cold. I haven't had milk in years! I bought lactose-free milk just to be safe. I also bought one of Walmart's $4 two kilo bags of frozen veggies and they were delightful! Getting enough fiber is also a priority. I also bought things for a low-calorie vegetable soup as i want to continue the adventures in cooking but if it's too good to resist i want it to be something healthy.

@Blue_Bird: That's great that your supportive housing is taking such good care of you. I wouldn't have a clue what to do with a turkey! One Thanksgiving my co-worker insisted he was going to teach me but luckily i got invited out to a brunch so i got out of it! Glad your visit with your sister went well and that she admired your cleaning. I'm sure it's terrific! Any news on getting your cat?

Hugs all around!

I'm glad you're enjoying your cooking and food, that's great! I've only cooked a turkey once, well technically 2 times. One time I totally screwed it up lol but the other time it came out great.

My sister has the appointment for the cat to get her shots in early December, hopefully that happens and then I can get her approved to be moved in with me. The only issue that's causing it to take so long is because things are starting to lockdown again here, and the vet keeps pushing out appointments. So fingers crossed I get her in time for Christmas, that would be awesome! Even January would still be great.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Just had a really creepy event occur. I clicked on a website about some writings of Shakespeare. Suddenly all these boxes popped up and a voice, telling me not to proceed further. Then a box that looked completely legit, telling me to call Microsoft. Sooo I called the "Microsoft" phone number. Got a man with a heavy accent, but he spoke good English and seemed knowledgeable.

Spent a good 20 minutes having him walk me through some stuff on my computer. As the time went on, the guy started sounding impatient, even snotty. He snapped at me a couple of times. I started feeling weird. I asked him if he was trying to sell me something. He didn't reply. I asked him again. Nothing, he just went on with this monologue about how my computer had been hacked by a "foreign entity." He claimed that Microsoft would not allow me to use my computer at all, unless I purchased some program to remove whatever, whatever.

I knew then that he was a scammer. I asked what the cost of the "purchase" would be. He told me $400. !!! I said, "I don't have that money." So he replied, "You don't have it, or you're saving your money?"


He insisted that my computer would not be usable unless I paid. I said absolutely not, told him I know he's running a scam, and ended the phone call.

I manually shut down my computer. When it came back up everything was normal. I can use my computer just fine.

I feel truly victimized by the creep. I mean, he's looked inside my computer files and stuff. What a horrible experience.

That's so scary! So you just opened a website about Shakespeare and this happened? You didn't download anything? I've had a site say "Don't go" when I moused up to the "X" to close the tab. But nothing like this. I'm glad you got it sorted out.

[*Beth*]

No, didn't download anything. Just clicked on a website listed off google. I've had warning boxes come up for me before, telling me that the site I'm about to enter is not verified as being safe. So I don't proceed. But never anything like what happened today. I feel like my paranoia has been...I don't know...I guess triggered.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

No, didn't download anything. Just clicked on a website listed off google. I've had warning boxes come up for me before, telling me that the site I'm about to enter is not verified as being safe. So I don't proceed. But never anything like what happened today. I feel like my paranoia has been...I don't know...I guess triggered.

You've got MY paranoia triggered! Was the link near the top of the list? Or did you scroll down some? There are ways to make a search engine place your site near the top- it's usually ads; it doesn't mean that those are necessarily the "best" or most popular.

[fern46]

For future reference... Hang up the phone immediately any time anyone ever tells you they work from Microsoft and they have detected an issue on your machine. Microsoft does not contact you like that. They also do not seed messages into websites asking you to call them. In the event you feel there is a possibility that you do have a Microsoft issue, go to their official website, log in using your own credentials, and log an issue. You'll get a ticket number and anyone who contacts you should be able to reference that number.

I have had 'Microsoft' call my cell several times lately. I ask them to verify my name and my address and they can't. Then I tell them they are a scammer and I am reporting them to the authorities and they should be ashamed. Then they usually cuss me out. Good times.

Never ever ever....
Give out your user names or passwords
Your name
Your phone number
Your address
Your social
Your payment information

Also... Do not respond to emails that appear to be from Microsoft. There are many ways to generate emails that appear to be official that aren't. Same for email from pay pal. I've gotten several fake emails from them lately as well.

Be safe guys, and if you're unsure, ask.

[Soupe du jour]

Hi BethRags. Did that guy get any form of access to your computer? If so, you may want to check on any credit card or other accounts to be sure nothing fishy is happening. Fern's points are important. Identify theft is also a real problem.