[Victoria'smom]

I'm just done, I don't want to fight anymore, not with ED, not with bp, not with psychosis. I'm just done I want to just sit down and cry but I can't. How can I think it was okay to pass this on. My H made a comment about one of my psychotic episodes. I'll I want to do is purge. get my meds out of my system. It's just a really bad head space day for me.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Soupe, the information on tea is so interesting. No way can I drink tea without milk or cream in it. With all the supposed health benefits of green tea, I thought (some years ago) I'd start drinking it. Well, excuse me for being yucky, but the first time I drank it I felt so nauseous that I threw it up. Thought it was a fluke, so I drank it again some days later. Same reaction. Apparently green tea is not my thing.

The combination of tannin and caffeine in all teas (except pure herbal) is, in my opinion, not a terrific combo.

Oh wow I never heard of anyone else experiencing this with green tea! I drank a cup once and went to my college classes and ended up throwing up in the bathroom. Thought I was just feeling off that day, so a few days later I drank some more and same thing. Then I took a diet supplement with green tea extract...same result. I have since determined green tea is just not for me!

[Sunflower123]

Well, I did end up cracking and my mental health and confidence took big hits. That’s unfortunate because I need to be strong mentally going into winter. My confidence took a hit because my daughter pointed out a limiting belief I have that if I just try harder or work harder, I can do it all. To release that belief terrified me. I can’t work hard enough to make it magically ok. That shook me.

After this dark night of the soul, I believe I will come out stronger, with more realistic expectations, more confidence and a modicum of peace. It’s just making it through the discomfort and terror.

Hugs to all.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Oh wow I never heard of anyone else experiencing this with green tea! I drank a cup once and went to my college classes and ended up throwing up in the bathroom. Thought I was just feeling off that day, so a few days later I drank some more and same thing. Then I took a diet supplement with green tea extract...same result. I have since determined green tea is just not for me!

Yep, and we're not alone. I worked in a cafe for 15 years and when the green tea craze hit so many people were buying green teas. Every now and then someone would tell me they'd gotten sick from the tea. Apparently there's something in it that just doesn't sit well with some of us. Weird, huh?!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Well, I did end up cracking and my mental health and confidence took big hits. That’s unfortunate because I need to be strong mentally going into winter. My confidence took a hit because my daughter pointed out a limiting belief I have that if I just try harder or work harder, I can do it all. To release that belief terrified me. I can’t work hard enough to make it magically ok. That shook me.

After this dark night of the soul, I believe I will come out stronger, with more realistic expectations, more confidence and a modicum of peace. It’s just making it through the discomfort and terror.

Hugs to all.

That's a big realization, Jennifer!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

This is not my week. Tonight is one of the nights I take care of "Mark", my dying family member, and part of that is walking his dog. I was doing that when I fell and sprained an ankle I've had major surgery on because prior sprains had done so much damage to tendons and ligaments and my opposite kneecap is black and blue and hurts more than the sprain.
The dog was so good and didn't run and was patient as we limped home very slowly. I need to get her a treat.

I'm finally home after a painful drive home (pushing on the gas with the bruised knee hurt a lot) and I have my ankle in the boot I wore after my surgery. I'm glad I kept it. I need to get ice on but I'm resting before I get up and move around more.

Tomorrow I"ll go to urgent care for xrays. I may need to go back to the ortho who did my ankle surgery but that's a scary prospect as the surgery was intense and recovery included 6 weeks of reclined bed rest, 10 weeks in casts, 12 weeks in the boot, 12 weeks in a brace and 24 weeks of PT. I don't want to ever do that again.

This is just not my week. I've spent days waiting for resolution on the breast abnormalities/need for the breast surgeon appointment and now I've made my one favorite thing a day, walking the dogs, impossible for some time. And I'm fairly sure I've added PT to my unwanted medical bills. AND I have to go to urgent care which is undoubtedly germy.

This just feels unreal.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm just done, I don't want to fight anymore, not with ED, not with bp, not with psychosis. I'm just done I want to just sit down and cry but I can't. How can I think it was okay to pass this on. My H made a comment about one of my psychotic episodes. I'll I want to do is purge. get my meds out of my system. It's just a really bad head space day for me.

What happened. Hugs and limitless love. What should we do for you?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Well, I did end up cracking and my mental health and confidence took big hits. That’s unfortunate because I need to be strong mentally going into winter. My confidence took a hit because my daughter pointed out a limiting belief I have that if I just try harder or work harder, I can do it all. To release that belief terrified me. I can’t work hard enough to make it magically ok. That shook me.

After this dark night of the soul, I believe I will come out stronger, with more realistic expectations, more confidence and a modicum of peace. It’s just making it through the discomfort and terror.

Hugs to all.

Have hope. This is exactly why He gave it to us. Hope
You will push through this, Jennifer. I believe in you!!!!

[bpcyclist]

Think I am gonna buy the house I rode by today. In the hills. Killer mountain and city views. Stunning. Ptetty sure I have decided to just wire them the cash and be done with all these real estate people hassling me all the time. Yay! Done!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

This is not my week. Tonight is one of the nights I take care of "Mark", my dying family member, and part of that is walking his dog. I was doing that when I fell and sprained an ankle I've had major surgery on because prior sprains had done so much damage to tendons and ligaments and my opposite kneecap is black and blue and hurts more than the sprain.
The dog was so good and didn't run and was patient as we limped home very slowly. I need to get her a treat.

I'm finally home after a painful drive home (pushing on the gas with the bruised knee hurt a lot) and I have my ankle in the boot I wore after my surgery. I'm glad I kept it. I need to get ice on but I'm resting before I get up and move around more.

Tomorrow I"ll go to urgent care for xrays. I may need to go back to the ortho who did my ankle surgery but that's a scary prospect as the surgery was intense and recovery included 6 weeks of reclined bed rest, 10 weeks in casts, 12 weeks in the boot, 12 weeks in a brace and 24 weeks of PT. I don't want to ever do that again.

This is just not my week. I've spent days waiting for resolution on the breast abnormalities/need for the breast surgeon appointment and now I've made my one favorite thing a day, walking the dogs, impossible for some time. And I'm fairly sure I've added PT to my unwanted medical bills. AND I have to go to urgent care which is undoubtedly germy.

This just feels unreal.

Oh, Rainbow. I feel so bad that you fell and that this week is being so harsh for you. Falling is so scary and dangerous. I hope you heal quickly and entirely.

I'm sending you love and a big .

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Think I am gonna buy the house I rode by today. In the hills. Killer mountain and city views. Stunning. Ptetty sure I have decided to just wire them the cash and be done with all these real estate people hassling me all the time. Yay! Done!

Sounds like a gorgeous view. It's good to see you, cyclist.

[Victoria'smom]

What happened. Hugs and limitless love. What should we do for you?

Possible trigger:

I was /am SI. nothing happened except I'm so tired of dealing with this illness. I'm out of AP can't get it until Monday. I don't have the money for my AD Monday. Money issues with the holidays suck. I'm just so tired of fighting. It's not just the SzA it's the ED requiring food daily is stressful. Knowing I can't switch to meds my insurance will cover because I can't consistently take it bothers me. I'm trying to put on a good face. I'm trying to remember that it'll help nothing if I wasn't around it'd make everything that much worse. I wish I could SH. I'd feel better. I hesitate to say I'm actually depressed. It feels like I'm just being truthful. I knew not seeing anyone for (in MH team) a month was going hard but I feel so destructive. I'm safe because I'm to lazy / tired to do anything and I know it's just feelings not the truth. I feel like I can't breathe my chest is so tight. I'd go to bed but I don't want to be the only one up tomorrow morning. My mask accidently slipped and my sister called worried about me. I lied and said I was better today. I pretend well. I'll be okay it'll just take time.

[Moose72]

Watching tv. I think I need to lose more weight. I've been stuck at this plateau for months. Supposed to snow an inch an a half tomorrow. No big deal, but I will have to brush off my car, if I go anywhere. I need to do laundry again. I feel like I just did laundry less than a week ago. Now it's getting toward bedtime and I need to not stay up late tonight like I did last night. I slept until 3 this afternoon so there's that- I hope I get tired relatively soon. N3 woke me up by calling me around 8:30 this morning and I definitely wasn't ready to get up yet so I said I'd call back but by the time I did, he was busy. Read an article from the NY Times that said that we should do covid tests that measure how much viral load there is rather than what we do now which is a yes or no answer. Like a pregnancy test that says "yes" or "no" at home and a blood test that can tell you yes or no but also HOW far along you are. That way people won't get as many false positives. Going to read the rest of "Madness" tonight before bed, I think. I'm really close to finishing it. Bewitched is on. One of the later ones in color and they went back in time.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

What happened. Hugs and limitless love. What should we do for you?

Possible trigger:

I was /am SI. nothing happened except I'm so tired of dealing with this illness. I'm out of AP can't get it until Monday. I don't have the money for my AD Monday. Money issues with the holidays suck. I'm just so tired of fighting. It's not just the SzA it's the ED requiring food daily is stressful. Knowing I can't switch to meds my insurance will cover because I can't consistently take it bothers me. I'm trying to put on a good face. I'm trying to remember that it'll help nothing if I wasn't around it'd make everything that much worse. I wish I could SH. I'd feel better. I hesitate to say I'm actually depressed. It feels like I'm just being truthful. I knew not seeing anyone for (in MH team) a month was going hard but I feel so destructive. I'm safe because I'm to lazy / tired to do anything and I know it's just feelings not the truth. I feel like I can't breathe my chest is so tight. I'd go to bed but I don't want to be the only one up tomorrow morning. My mask accidently slipped and my sister called worried about me. I lied and said I was better today. I pretend well. I'll be okay it'll just take time.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Sounds like a gorgeous view. It's good to see you, cyclist.

Tanks, Bether. I am grateful every day of my life for the miracle of you!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

What happened. Hugs and limitless love. What should we do for you?

Possible trigger:

I was /am SI. nothing happened except I'm so tired of dealing with this illness. I'm out of AP can't get it until Monday. I don't have the money for my AD Monday. Money issues with the holidays suck. I'm just so tired of fighting. It's not just the SzA it's the ED requiring food daily is stressful. Knowing I can't switch to meds my insurance will cover because I can't consistently take it bothers me. I'm trying to put on a good face. I'm trying to remember that it'll help nothing if I wasn't around it'd make everything that much worse. I wish I could SH. I'd feel better. I hesitate to say I'm actually depressed. It feels like I'm just being truthful. I knew not seeing anyone for (in MH team) a month was going hard but I feel so destructive. I'm safe because I'm to lazy / tired to do anything and I know it's just feelings not the truth. I feel like I can't breathe my chest is so tight. I'd go to bed but I don't want to be the only one up tomorrow morning. My mask accidently slipped and my sister called worried about me. I lied and said I was better today. I pretend well. I'll be okay it'll just take time.

Please PM me when you get this. Hugs.

[Victoria'smom]

I pm'd

My depression is bothering me today but we're getting a pile of snow tomorrow so that's something to look forward to. It starts with flurries at 3:00pm. Should be pretty.

@BeyondtheRainbow: So sorry to hear that you fell and injured yourself. That's the last thing you need on top of a cancer scare. Will send more thoughts and prayers.

Hugs to all who struggle!

[Mountaindewed]

I had a

Possible trigger:

SA tonight. I took a full medicine glass of cough syrup and 15 milligrams of melatonin. I was so incredibly serious. I wanted to go and join the 27 club

I woke up 4 hours later feeling very stumbly and my vision was blurry and my stomach was a mess. I don’t know what it is about nights. Because these thoughts come on very suddenly after I take my meds and only happen at night. Like I won’t have any SI during the day and at night it’s full blown. I don’t understand. I take Geodon 80, lamictal 200, and propalanol 20. The last 2 I only take at night. So I don’t know. I just feel really sick right now. I told my mom though.

[Victoria'smom]

Mountaindewed please call someone. It sounds like your meds are wearing off to early. I'm not allowed around medication because I have a similar problem to you could you put in a safety net like that?

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Mountaindewed please call someone. It sounds like your meds are wearing off to early. I'm not allowed around medication because I have a similar problem to you could you put in a safety net like that?

I can try my Pdoc on Monday. I’m not sure why my mom isn’t doing more. I told her everything last night. She has my therapists email. She’s never been good at getting me the help I need. She has always let me do my own thing until someone else tells her to do something to help me.

I think if I hear the song "santa baby" one more time, I'm going to send out a complaint to the broadcaster
their are so many christmas songs.

you don't need to play various versions of santa baby 5 times an hour

thinking out loud..

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I think if I hear the song "santa baby" one more time, I'm going to send out a complaint to the broadcaster
their are so many christmas songs.

you don't need to play various versions of santa baby 5 times an hour

thinking out loud..

I know what you mean! It was cute the first 2 times I heard it, years ago, but enough is enough!

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi all. I don't feel very well today. I am feeling pretty hopeless and just out of it, but still irritable. Still can't sit still but maybe not as bad as before. Just reminding myself it won't last forever, I've been through worse. I kind of want to give up on meds, I just don't get what's the matter with me. Anyways I am done being a downer, hope everyone has a good day. Sending compassion.

[*Beth*]

My poor cat Sadie started throwing up at 12:30 a.m. and didn't stop until after dawn. She throws up food, then keeps drinking water because she feels dried out, but can't hold the water down. Her stomach goes into a kind of spasm situation. But the rest of her behavior is normal.

I had been giving my cats Hill's Hairball Control, but I think it's too rough on their stomachs. So I'm switching to Hill's Sensitive Stomach.

So tired. I hope I can go back to bed and sleep. And I hope Sadie can, too.

I promised my therapist with all my heart & soul that I'd try my light box twice a day for 1 week and see how I do with it. I don't know why I am so resistant to that thing, it's ridiculous.