[Moose72]

I belong to my mom's neighborhood facebook page since I lived there for 10 years. The realtor posted a listing for my old house- a different one that i lived in for four years- '74-'78. It's a great house and I've known the people who bought it from us this whole time- since '78! Now they are moving to Kentucky and it's like the house is moving! I will miss them, though we weren't that close. They know who we are- they remember when we sold it to them - and have let us in for a memory-jog a couple times over the years. So yes, my mom and I have lived in 3 different houses in the same neighborhood.

Only another day and a half before they stop playing medicare commercials on tv! I need a countdown timer. :ROFL:

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Hi fleurs, for how many minutes do you use your light box? My pdoc is insistent that I use one, which I have been doing, but I am also concerned about setting off anxiety or irritability - or sleep.

Hi Bethrags, I am still sort of figuring it out. In the past I think I used it like 30ish min a day, but it's a little much for my eyes on the highest setting so I am using it on a lower setting for a bit longer. I honestly probably need to review with my pdoc again as I can't recall exactly what he said when we discussed it a couple of years back. I am trying to pay attention to my moods to make sure I don't get irritable. It happened once in the past a couple years ago. Has your pdoc recommended how long to use it for? I hope it helps you if you decide to use it.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I use a light box even in the summer when there are several rainy days in a row. I use it for up to 2 hours with my NP’s and therapist’s approval during the dark times of SAD (this is not the norm). I haven’t run into anxiety, irritability or trouble sleeping due to the light box. I hope you won’t either. Good luck.

Do you find you get depressed with rainy days like that? I find I do, and sometimes use it in that case.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

I don’t know. I have started applying for jobs and I think it will help once I land one. Not financially distressed yet. Honestly though I think my issues with my mental health are not actually related to bipolar alone.. I think I have leaky gut syndrome and I think that’s actually what’s causing the suicidal thinking. I noticed that whenever I’m feeling strong suicidal urges, my stomach hurts a lot. I have also developed digestive issues, diabetes and high blood pressure. I think I need to do some research and get my blood sugar under control and get my issues with my stomach under control. In therapy, we work on distress tolerance but why should we always tolerate it. Why are they not helping me get rid of the distress. My therapist also likes to down play what I go through and she tries to get me to do things that makes life harder. I want my life less stressed not more so. Like we are are headed in the wrong direction chief.

I am sorry you are going through all that. I've had overlapping mental and physical health problems and it can be so tough to deal with both and even figure it all out from my experience. I have been trying to kind of attack things from all angles since I know my physical health affects my mental health a visa versa. Do you have a doctor for your health issues?

I have felt similar regarding the distress tolerance exercises. I think they are helpful to learn so that I can handle it when it happens, but you don't want to feel your issues or being downplayed or you're expected to just live feeling bad all the time. Do you think it would help to tell your therapist you don't feel validated?

[bizi]

Originally Posted by MarcusAurelius

Thank you -- it's been many years since he passed. Holidays always bring up memories though.

I think that's a great idea! Especially if you have a lot of creativity. I personally have very little creativity and I'm not very good with my hands -- but my sister on the other hand is really into drawing, art, ceramics, etc. She says pintrest always has festive "seasonal" crafts and knicknacks to make. I had a neighbor who had a similar idea and made door wreaths, she had enough inspiration to do a different one every month! It was quite impressive, some were... not what I could call attractive or want hanging on my door, but for the most part they were very tasteful and very "in season"!

I read this as tasty!!!!!!!!lol
funny when you try to read thru a post quickly what the mind will say.
bizi

Originally Posted by bizi

I read this as tasty!!!!!!!!lol
funny when you try to read thru a post quickly what the mind will say.
bizi

That is funny! Imagine -- "Honey, the neighbor is gnawing on the door wreath again." LOL

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Thank you, Jennifer. So when you use your light box for that length of time, do you just keep it in the same room that you're in and go about doing whatever you'd normally be doing? Or do you actually sit near it for 2 hours?

I watch the news for two hours in the morning and I have it set up so that I can do both. Trying to cut down....on the news.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Do you find you get depressed with rainy days like that? I find I do, and sometimes use it in that case.

Yes, I sure do. I’m sorry that happens to you as well.

[Blue_Bird]

I've been considering getting a lightbox too. It's pretty gloomy here in New York from October through March and I could use it to lift my mood when I'm feeling down.

[Moose72]

Speaking of baking, my mom is making her famous shortbread today! She sent me pix. Last year, I helped her make them. She's going to make another 15. She made 15 today.

[Soupe du jour]

I was a little nervous doing so, but I wrote an email to the psychologist that I will likely be seeing in Czech Republic. My nephew's professor (also a psychologist, but with a Masters degree) has been so helpful in our search for a PhD psychologist (for me) that speaks English. Our nephew's professor can only take private pay patients. She said that I surely qualify for public services. Public insurance paid psychologists are usually only for patients with significant diagnosable disorders who qualify for public insurance. As a wife of a citizen with a bipolar disorder dx, I qualify in both counts. I mentioned in my email that we will likely be arriving in early January.

Hubby found out what we will need to pay for the public insurance in Czech Republic. Since he will be considered a "self employed" Czech citizen and I am on SSDI and a citizen's wife, the amount is 2 000 CZK for each of us, per month. That equals about $91.43 each, per month ($182.86 per month total). No coinsurances. No deductibles. Usually no copays, or if there are it is very little (i.e. $2 for brand name medications, or a bit more for extremely expensive meds). Private rooms in hospitals do cost extra, but not exorbitant amounts. Dental is covered (including braces), but not cosmetic dental services. Vision is also covered, along with basic eye glasses. Hearing aides are partially covered.

My husband contacted a psychiatrist in Czech Republic, on my behalf. We'll be waiting to hear from her to see if she can take me. She apparently also speaks English, according to an expat organization, where we found her name. I hope it works out, or we'll need to search further. The psychologist told my nephew's professor that she will take me, so that's more certain. I'll look forward to hearing from both, hopefully early this coming week. Obviously, to get set up for public insurance, my husband and I will have to visit several government offices. There is a lot of work to do upon our arrival in CZ. There is a bit of bureaucracy, but that's life.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Speaking of baking, my mom is making her famous shortbread today! She sent me pix. Last year, I helped her make them. She's going to make another 15. She made 15 today.

Looks yummy! And as for the messy counters, while your mom's were all covered with white flour, mine were all covered with cocoa. I also managed to have batter flying all over the wall.

Your mom has a lot of flour. I'm embarrassed to say I have my fair share, too. My pantry also has rice flour, as well as all-purpose, self-rising, Czech semi-coarse, Czech fine, whole wheat, whole wheat pastry, and almond flour.

Maybe about two years or so ago, I was a touch hypomanic. At the store, I saw that Domino's reduced their bag size from 5-lb bags to 4-lb bags. They were all on sale during the "transition", which would eventually equate to charging the old 5-lb bag price for the 4-lb bags. In rebellion, I bought 34 lbs of sugar (that's over 15 kg) to beat the price hike. My husband took a picture of some of them (see attached). I did get a comment from the cashier that day, after which I went on a rant about corporations putting less and less product in packaging. Sad fact was that all of that sugar didn't last that long. I'm lucky I don't yet have diabetes. And of course I have confectioner's sugar, both types of brown sugar, plenty of honey, agave nectar, corn syrup, and molasses. Plus non-sugar sweeteners (Truvia, sucralose powder and sucralose liquid, and erythritol.)

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I belong to my mom's neighborhood facebook page since I lived there for 10 years. The realtor posted a listing for my old house- a different one that i lived in for four years- '74-'78. It's a great house and I've known the people who bought it from us this whole time- since '78! Now they are moving to Kentucky and it's like the house is moving! I will miss them, though we weren't that close. They know who we are- they remember when we sold it to them - and have let us in for a memory-jog a couple times over the years. So yes, my mom and I have lived in 3 different houses in the same neighborhood.

Only another day and a half before they stop playing medicare commercials on tv! I need a countdown timer. :ROFL:

YESSSS!!!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Hi Bethrags, I am still sort of figuring it out. In the past I think I used it like 30ish min a day, but it's a little much for my eyes on the highest setting so I am using it on a lower setting for a bit longer. I honestly probably need to review with my pdoc again as I can't recall exactly what he said when we discussed it a couple of years back. I am trying to pay attention to my moods to make sure I don't get irritable. It happened once in the past a couple years ago. Has your pdoc recommended how long to use it for? I hope it helps you if you decide to use it.

My pdoc is convinced that light boxes are an excellent treatment. I'm really not sure. I don't know how to tell what's working/not working, meds or light box.

Anyway, she's recommended 10 minutes in the morning and 10 mins mid/late afternoon (I tend to feel depressed at that time). I'm so afraid of anxiety, though. So I haven't been doing the afternoon one.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Looks yummy! And as for the messy counters, while your mom's were all covered with white flour, mine were all covered with cocoa. I also managed to have batter flying all over the wall.

Batter flying all over the wall? Were you hand-stirring or using an electric mixer? My mom puts the dry ingredients and the butter together in a big bowl and kneads it until it is a solid ball. Then she breaks it up into individual rounds. (See pic.)

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I was a little nervous doing so, but I wrote an email to the psychologist that I will likely be seeing in Czech Republic. My nephew's professor (also a psychologist, but with a Masters degree) has been so helpful in our search for a PhD psychologist (for me) that speaks English. Our nephew's professor can only take private pay patients. She said that I surely qualify for public services. Public insurance paid psychologists are usually only for patients with significant diagnosable disorders who qualify for public insurance. As a wife of a citizen with a bipolar disorder dx, I qualify in both counts. I mentioned in my email that we will likely be arriving in early January.

Hubby found out what we will need to pay for the public insurance in Czech Republic. Since he will be considered a "self employed" Czech citizen and I am on SSDI and a citizen's wife, the amount is 2 000 CZK for each of us, per month. That equals about $91.43 each, per month ($182.86 per month total). No coinsurances. No deductibles. Usually no copays, or if there are it is very little (i.e. $2 for brand name medications, or a bit more for extremely expensive meds). Private rooms in hospitals do cost extra, but not exorbitant amounts. Dental is covered (including braces), but not cosmetic dental services. Vision is also covered, along with basic eye glasses. Hearing aides are partially covered.

My husband contacted a psychiatrist in Czech Republic, on my behalf. We'll be waiting to hear from her to see if she can take me. She apparently also speaks English, according to an expat organization, where we found her name. I hope it works out, or we'll need to search further. The psychologist told my nephew's professor that she will take me, so that's more certain. I'll look forward to hearing from both, hopefully early this coming week. Obviously, to get set up for public insurance, my husband and I will have to visit several government offices. There is a lot of work to do upon our arrival in CZ. There is a bit of bureaucracy, but that's life.

That sounds fabulous! Wow!!

Soupe, how does it work with your citizenship? Will you have duel?

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Batter flying all over the wall? Were you hand-stirring or using an electric mixer? My mom puts the dry ingredients and the butter together in a big bowl and kneads it until it is a solid ball. Then she breaks it up into individual rounds. (See pic.)

I had to mix sugar, egg yolks, and rum together before adding melted chocolate and walnut flour (my rum balls don't contain wheat or other flour). Usually I use my regular hand mixer, but it was given away to someone about a month ago, when we were clearing house for the move. Instead, I put the whisk attachment on my immersion hand blender. I got it going so fast that it sprayed some of the liquid mixture on the walls. The cocoa was later on for rolling my rum balls in. I do have a KitchenAid standup mixer, but that's too big for such a small job as the half batch of rum balls I made. It was crucial that I super mix the sugar/yolk mixture (it has to be beaten until it lightens). It would not have been as easy to do with a manual hand whisk, and impossible to do properly with just a spoon. Trying to do so would have yielded a failed result.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Looks yummy! And as for the messy counters, while your mom's were all covered with white flour, mine were all covered with cocoa. I also managed to have batter flying all over the wall.

Your mom has a lot of flour. I'm embarrassed to say I have my fair share, too. My pantry also has rice flour, as well as all-purpose, self-rising, Czech semi-coarse, Czech fine, whole wheat, whole wheat pastry, and almond flour.

Maybe about two years or so ago, I was a touch hypomanic. At the store, I saw that Domino's reduced their bag size from 5-lb bags to 4-lb bags. They were all on sale during the "transition", which would eventually equate to charging the old 5-lb bag price for the 4-lb bags. In rebellion, I bought 34 lbs of sugar (that's over 15 kg) to beat the price hike. My husband took a picture of some of them (see attached). I did get a comment from the cashier that day, after which I went on a rant about corporations putting less and less product in packaging. Sad fact was that all of that sugar didn't last that long. I'm lucky I don't yet have diabetes. And of course I have confectioner's sugar, both types of brown sugar, plenty of honey, agave nectar, corn syrup, and molasses. Plus non-sugar sweeteners (Truvia, sucralose powder and sucralose liquid, and erythritol.)

I hear you about packaging being smaller and smaller. You have enough baking ingredients to make plenty of different treats!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I had to mix sugar, egg yolks, and rum together before adding melted chocolate and walnut flour (my rum balls don't contain wheat or other flour). Usually I use my regular hand mixer, but it was given away to someone about a month ago, when we were clearing house for the move. Instead, I put the whisk attachment on my immersion hand blender. I got it going so fast that it sprayed some of the liquid mixture on the walls. The cocoa was later on for rolling my rum balls in. I do have a KitchenAid standup mixer, but that's too big for such a small job as the half batch of rum balls I made. It was crucial that I super mix the sugar/yolk mixture (it has to be beaten until it lightens). It would not have been as easy to do with a manual hand whisk, and impossible to do properly with just a spoon. Trying to do so would have yielded a failed result.

What kind of rum do you use? I see now why you got some batter on the walls. As for my mom having a lot of flour, she buys a lot because the shortbread takes a lot and if she just goes with what she has, she has run out before. She even mentioned that to me today!

[Blue_Bird]

You guys have got me wanting to bake something. I used to bake all the time but I kind of went through a period where I haven't been doing it at all. It puts me in a good mood though when I do and it's nice to share the treats with my family. Maybe I'll start baking again.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m feeling kind of bad tonight but not in any SI way. Basically I’m just turning into this angry anorexic insomniac asshole and it just recently got this bad in like the last 4 weeks. Not even a month. I literally have no clue what’s happened to me.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I’m feeling kind of bad tonight but not in any SI way. Basically I’m just turning into this angry anorexic insomniac asshole and it just recently got this bad in like the last 4 weeks. Not even a month. I literally have no clue what’s happened to me.

Hi Md, I'm sorry you're feeling bad . Since you already had the assessment, what's the next step?

Originally Posted by BethRags

My pdoc is convinced that light boxes are an excellent treatment. I'm really not sure. I don't know how to tell what's working/not working, meds or light box.

Anyway, she's recommended 10 minutes in the morning and 10 mins mid/late afternoon (I tend to feel depressed at that time). I'm so afraid of anxiety, though. So I haven't been doing the afternoon one.

I think I saw where you inquired (on a different thread?) about how far to be from the light boxes. Answer: 16-24". I've read where people say they just wander around the room, then wonder why it's not working. You've got to be fairly close, but not looking directly at it. Looking at a computer can be a little challenging with the reflectivity, (as in, I look at the computer screen and see myself, haha) but I'd imagine it'd be great for book reading. A bit of reassurance: The 10 minute sessions you mention are on the short end, so it seems unlikely it'd trigger anything negative. Best of luck!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I think I saw where you inquired (on a different thread?) about how far to be from the light boxes. Answer: 16-24". I've read where people say they just wander around the room, then wonder why it's not working. You've got to be fairly close, but not looking directly at it. Looking at a computer can be a little challenging with the reflectivity, (as in, I look at the computer screen and see myself, haha) but I'd imagine it'd be great for book reading. A bit of reassurance: The 10 minute sessions you mention are on the short end, so it seems unlikely it'd trigger anything negative. Best of luck!

Thank you very much for the info, Innerzone.

[Daonnachd]

Just stopping by to tell you all how much I appreciate you. You offer wise counsel and helpful anecdotes. I love you.