[Miss Laura]

I was discharged from my Community Support Worker today. She is part of my treatment team. She is in the same building as my Psychiatrist etc and is part of the Community Mental Health Team in my local area. I have been seeing a Support Worker for 7 years. For the last 5 years they have been trying to discharge me and today was my final meet up. I'm so gutted, scared, upset etc. I knew last week this was going to be the last but I really do struggle with endings this one was no different. I got her a card and gave her but ask she didn't read it until I left her as I was already crying grrr! I hope she liked it. I feel lost now. I'm not recovered I'm not in recovery. So I don't know why they have discharged me

To top it off we were speaking re the depot injection and I said my Psychiatrist wants me back on Depakote but what's the point. No-one has ever said this to me. She said I have Bipolar with Psychotic Symptoms. What?!?! I am like oh right I didn't know that??? Help!!! Feel this has made me think I'm worse or even crazy???

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I was discharged from my Community Support Worker today. She is part of my treatment team. She is in the same building as my Psychiatrist etc and is part of the Community Mental Health Team in my local area. I have been seeing a Support Worker for 7 years. For the last 5 years they have been trying to discharge me and today was my final meet up. I'm so gutted, scared, upset etc. I knew last week this was going to be the last but I really do struggle with endings this one was no different. I got her a card and gave her but ask she didn't read it until I left her as I was already crying grrr! I hope she liked it. I feel lost now. I'm not recovered I'm not in recovery. So I don't know why they have discharged me

To top it off we were speaking re the depot injection and I said my Psychiatrist wants me back on Depakote but what's the point. No-one has ever said this to me. She said I have Bipolar with Psychotic Symptoms. What?!?! I am like oh right I didn't know that??? Help!!! Feel this has made me think I'm worse or even crazy???

I think it’s just when manic... I went through it. First I thought God was sending me visions... real stuff like I had this dream about a spider. I went into the garage and opened a random box and a spider crawled out. I killed it. Then I looked into the box and found 3 books, one on dreams, one about a murder, and the other with bible verses! They all unlocked mysteries that I thought were more than a coincidence like my husbands brother committed suicide and he told me he wanted a lost boys tattoo on him. Well the murder book said a lost boy on the cover.... then the dream book had a lock and key on it and I kept finding locks and keys everywhere around the house.... but then it got worse when my sister gave me some weed she said it would help me sleep.... that’s when I thought I was the Flash and could stop time. I also said and did more and she had me hospitalized.... so ya I have psychotic features too.... and I found out weed makes us worse and can bring out psychosis!!

[Miss Laura]

Thanks, yeah never done drugs or smoked one of the reasons why tbh I'm bad enough without them. I feel I'm getting more and more scared of every day things even leaving my flat or in fact going into my flat. I am feeling out of control but people don't know how bad it is as I'm scared to tell them

[FluffyDinosaur]

I'm really sorry this has happened to you. It's something I dread and try not to think about. In my opinion it makes no sense to just discharge bipolar people unless they've been stable for a long time and they agree with it, because it's not an illness that's just over at some point. It requires lifelong support and it's important to keep getting that support from the same people you already know instead of being periodically tossed aside.

[bpcyclist]

I agree with Fluffy. This makes no sense to me. Are there any support groups where you are ?

[Miss Laura]

Yeah there is a local Bipolar Support Group which is ran by Bipolar Scotland. But due to covid its online I struggle with online so can't do it, its video call. Its normally monthly if meeting face to face for 2 hours. The group is big. But nothing other than that. There are a few support group services but I have been to 1 and volunteered at the other so unsure. Gonna speak to the OT I'm seeing fir the college course.

[wolftrap]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like hell. I agree with Naosky that the presentation of mania can involve behavior that may seem psychotic - visions, vivid dreams, hallucinations, etc. I have definitely had these experiences. It sounds like you are being given conflicting points of view and other's historical experiences thrust upon you without them revealing their thoughts to you in a therapeutic manner. I hope you can find help and other points of view.

[*Beth*]

You have really been jerked around. It's messed up.

[Miss Laura]

Thanks guys, I really am glad I'm not being unreasonable. I just don't know what to do now. I still think I'm not well but my team clearly think I am so I am in a catch 22. Fair enough I'm at college this finishes for good in 2 weeks. It was an 8 week course. But getting to college, in college and leaving are 3 different social anxiety situations I'm dealing with. Going to the supermarket for food again 3 different social anxiety situations and I'm a nightmare in all 6 situations. Again I'm managing cause I have too doesn't mean its not difficult but my team seem to think I'm coping.... how I fo not know when I tell them I'm having hallucinatons etc OUTSIDE. I understand I have had 7 years but come on

[*Beth*]

Laura, can you file an appeal?

[Miss Laura]

Hey no they obviously had a team meeting re me. All parties would of had to agree to this... Psychiatrist, CPN, Support Worker. So no point. I might be re-referred at a later date who knows. I'm just angry that it was abruptly stopped no real warning. I don't do well with endings this one proved it. I was in tears grrr!!

[*Beth*]

That is so cold. I'm really sorry.

[NoodleBean]

You aren’t being unreasonable. It is very scary to be set adrift.

[Miss Laura]

I think I will really struggle after next week as that is when I finish college. Been going 2 hours a day 3 days a week. I finish on 10th Dec. I have been going since October. I am meant to have a job lined up, college course lined up or volunteering lined up. I have none