[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

That's clever and funny

Thanks for this. Otherwise, my friends are making me out to be some sort of creepy weirdo!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I don't know...this day has been odd. Nothing major, just strange, as though star-crossed, but in a bizarre way. Several things, probably the most was my therapist giving me a full description of her "melt-down" on Friday. I like to hear about her life, but this one involved her cat being sick, which is an enormous fear of mine and a major PTSD trigger. She knows I've been dealing with depression lately. I felt like she forgot who she was talking to. Her birthday is next week, though; oftentimes people get weird before their birthdays.

I'm looking forward to some quiet (I hope) reading tonight.

I read before bed, too. I'm thinking of going to bed early tonight and reading longer. That way maybe I'll get to bed earlier and get up earlier.

[Sunflower123]

I’ve had a very long, very hard day. Mom has hurt her leg and is immobile. It’s hard enough when she’s mobile. Hopefully, she’ll be up and around soon. I made it through the day by looking for things to be grateful for and by practicing the tools from my inner peace course.

I’m settled in with a good book and will get a good night’s sleep and tomorrow will be a glorious day.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’ve had a very long, very hard day. Mom has hurt her leg and is immobile. It’s hard enough when she’s mobile. Hopefully, she’ll be up and around soon. I made it through the day by looking for things to be grateful for and by practicing the tools from my inner peace course.

I’m settled in with a good book and will get a good night’s sleep and tomorrow will be a glorious day.

I hope so.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Thanks for this. Otherwise, my friends are making me out to be some sort of creepy weirdo!

Your other friends are. We, your friends who matter, think it's funny.

[Mountaindewed]

I saw my doctor last Wednesday and he took a lot of blood. The results were supposed to be given to me on Monday. They were supposed to call. But I’m wondering if he’s waiting to give them to me in person. And I’m not sure that’s a good sign. I’m going to try to eat a McRib and small fries from McDonald’s. I’m not sure that’s a good idea at all. But I’m going to try and hopefully I don’t majorly freak out the way I did yesterday after I ate. That was at 11AM yesterday when I had lunch and I tried eating some soup last night around 7. It was too hot and I took two bites before I put it down to cool off and then I got very tired suddenly and fell into a deep sleep until 3AM. So I had this whole bowl of cold soup on the night stand. My mom didn’t get mad. Just said I should have heated it up and eaten it. But I wasn’t sure if chicken noodle soup left out for 8 hours was safe to eat. Today I feel ok so far. Just very tired despite sleeping enough. I’m losing a pound a day. I’ve lost a fair amount of weight since Thanksgiving. 9 pounds.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

I am sorry, this sounds awful to feel like that. I saw your other post about the shot making you feel worse. Have you discussed that with your doctor at all?

Yes I’m discussing things with all my doctors and hospitals.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I saw my doctor last Wednesday and he took a lot of blood. The results were supposed to be given to me on Monday. They were supposed to call. But I’m wondering if he’s waiting to give them to me in person. And I’m not sure that’s a good sign. I’m going to try to eat a McRib and small fries from McDonald’s. I’m not sure that’s a good idea at all. But I’m going to try and hopefully I don’t majorly freak out the way I did yesterday after I ate. That was at 11AM yesterday when I had lunch and I tried eating some soup last night around 7. It was too hot and I took two bites before I put it down to cool off and then I got very tired suddenly and fell into a deep sleep until 3AM. So I had this whole bowl of cold soup on the night stand. My mom didn’t get mad. Just said I should have heated it up and eaten it. But I wasn’t sure if chicken noodle soup left out for 8 hours was safe to eat. Today I feel ok so far. Just very tired despite sleeping enough. I’m losing a pound a day. I’ve lost a fair amount of weight since Thanksgiving. 9 pounds.

It's been my several decades of experience that they will call when there are any abnormal results. If they don't call it means nothing unusual was discovered. You can call the office for results, though.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

It's been my several decades of experience that they will call when there are any abnormal results. If they don't call it means nothing unusual was discovered. You can call the office for results, though.

At the hospital system I go to they will sometimes say they want to talk to you about the results in person. if I’m seeing him less then a week after I got the blood drawn and he knows how bad my anxiety is I’m wondering if he’s waiting.

The lady from the office called to ask Covid questions this morning. My mom asked her if she was giving us blood work results and she said no.

Something’s gotta be wrong medically. Things just don’t get this bad this suddenly for no reason.

[Soupe du jour]

I've finally found some projects that are good to start right now. For a number of days, I was at a loss for what to do. We're coming down the wire, in terms of living in our current house. Or at least I hope so. We have yet to hear back about the home inspection results. That's frustrating! Let's just get this going already so we can close and move on! The buyer's mortgage company has not yet done the appraisal...or so I think. I expect that they need to come to our house for that. Or maybe I'm wrong. The silence is a bit deafening.

Our home stager is coming in a few days to pick up all of the items she rented to us for the staging. We certainly want to be sure she doesn't accidentally take any of our belongings. Then the moving company comes on December 15th to take our stuff, for shipment to Europe. We'll only be left with our bedroom furniture, which we'll need to get rid of. It's not in good enough shape to take to Europe. At least we'll have a bed to sleep in for a few days. Then we need to donate, give away, sell (if possible), or trash whatever is left.

Earlier today I started separating out pantry stuff to donate to a food pantry (or give away to family/friends). I'm also meal planning to use up as much stuff in our freezer/fridge, as possible. Any open items will need to be given to family/friends or trashed. I am bringing some pantry items to Europe, especially stuff that's not so easy to get there (i.e. salsa, peanut butter, etc.) We've done some work clearing up banking issues, we've ordered some mail order meds, and other tasks. I need to get a couple passport size photos for future IDs in Czech Republic, like a temporary resident ID. We will also need to further plan our road trip. Of course some snacks and other food stuffs can go with us on the road.

I'm meeting my Dad at a doctors appointment tomorrow. It's one of the only ways to add more visits before I leave. The assisted living gives so few appointments.

[MuddyBoots]

I started reviewing math stuff I’ve already taken classes for in attempts to get back in school for meteorology or chemistry or maybe engineering (or physics or math or x,y,z, or this or that). Something math intensive though. I feel like if I hadn’t been taking calc II with a crap professor while manic, psychotic, doing ECT, and being hospitalized every other month, I could’ve kept going instead of flunking and not wanting to spend another grand to retake the courses I was in.

I feel like I have so much wasted potential. I’m so far behind everyone else my age. I’m stuck in a cycle of self destruction and defeat that I don’t know how to get out of.

[Mountaindewed]

It looks like I’ll be starting the program on Thursday. I got my insurance call done too.

I ate lunch and it kind of messed me up. I’m lying down now. I have a lot of covid symptoms except a cough. My temp is only 98.8. I’ve heard that you can have covid with just a few symptoms. That it can be different for everyone. Someone on Facebook had covid with just a sore throat. I just had really bad chills and now I’m sweating. My brother is lethargic and isn’t communicating much and my mom is asking if he’s ok. So I don’t know if we just have a super mild case or what. I’ve been told that if I were to get it it would be super mild.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

It looks like I’ll be starting the program on Thursday. I got my insurance call done too.

I ate lunch and it kind of messed me up. I’m lying down now. I have a lot of covid symptoms except a cough. My temp is only 98.8. I’ve heard that you can have covid with just a few symptoms. That it can be different for everyone. Someone on Facebook had covid with just a sore throat. I just had really bad chills and now I’m sweating. My brother is lethargic and isn’t communicating much and my mom is asking if he’s ok. So I don’t know if we just have a super mild case or what.

If you think you have COVID you should be tested before starting IOP. No point in risking infecting others.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

If you think you have COVID you should be tested before starting IOP. No point in risking infecting others.

IOP is virtual on my iPad at my house. Through zoom.

[Mountaindewed]

So I called the doctors about my blood test results. And I’m having kidney issues. Which explains the massive amount of pain I’ve been in and the other physical symptoms. I need to go into the hospital tomorrow for an abdominal ultrasound.

I wish people would give me a ****ing break about my mental health. I know when something is wrong medically. Someone’s mental health doesn’t just get suddenly bad for no reason after being stable for almost 6 years.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

I started reviewing math stuff I’ve already taken classes for in attempts to get back in school for meteorology or chemistry or maybe engineering (or physics or math or x,y,z, or this or that). Something math intensive though. I feel like if I hadn’t been taking calc II with a crap professor while manic, psychotic, doing ECT, and being hospitalized every other month, I could’ve kept going instead of flunking and not wanting to spend another grand to retake the courses I was in.

I feel like I have so much wasted potential. I’m so far behind everyone else my age. I’m stuck in a cycle of self destruction and defeat that I don’t know how to get out of.

Never feel that you're behind "everyone else"! I know so many people who believe that. It's our weary minds giving us false information. You have an illness and you work SO hard to cope with it. Suspend judgment, Sapien and give yourself the love you deserve.

[Victoria'smom]

I feel like I have so much wasted potential. I’m so far behind everyone else my age. I’m stuck in a cycle of self destruction and defeat that I don’t know how to get out of. that's how I feel too.

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi all. I am a bit stressed as some family members (adult and kids) have been exposed to Covid (and the person who likely has it is also someone I know and care about). I am glad that my mental health is overall stable so that I can not totally panic. They are in good health and not too old, but still.

Actually, in general I have felt weirdly calm lately. I don't understand, but I wonder if my emotions are blunted or something. However, I am taking Wellbutrin and lo loestrin for my moods and I am not sure that either would cause this? Like I used to be super high stress and now I am relaxed? I am not depressed so it is not that, either.

I got an interview for a job scheduled for next week. I am happy because I want this job and I also need a job so I am not unemployed come January.

Take care!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

So I called the doctors about my blood test results. And I’m having kidney issues. Which explains the massive amount of pain I’ve been in and the other physical symptoms. I need to go into the hospital tomorrow for an abdominal ultrasound.

I wish people would give me a ****ing break about my mental health. I know when something is wrong medically. Someone’s mental health doesn’t just get suddenly bad for no reason after being stable for almost 6 years.

I hope nothing bad (or at least not major) is found from your ultrasound. I'm supposed to have a similar ultrasound sometime soon to investigate a possible issue with my kidney health, though I am not experiencing any pain.

It's terrible that people with mental health issues aren't always taken seriously about physical ones.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Your other friends are. We, your friends who matter, think it's funny.

Thank you!

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Never feel that you're behind "everyone else"! I know so many people who believe that. It's our weary minds giving us false information. You have an illness and you work SO hard to cope with it. Suspend judgment, Sapien and give yourself the love you deserve.

You’re right. It just sucks that other people are able to function and their successes are getting degrees, landing jobs/getting promoted, and getting married and my successes are “I haven’t done anything that has a high probability of killing me in a week and I remembered to eat a meal today.”

Guess I just gotta remember I have disorder(s) that make my little successes matter as much as others’.

[Blue_Bird]

Had/am having a bad panic attack. Just did 15 minutes of yoga to see if that helps. I think it did a little bit. I'm not sure though. I'm trying to pretend I'm a person who doesn't have really bad anxiety/panic attacks and see if that helps somehow. I don't know. Maybe that doesn't make any sense. I'm just trying everything because I'm so sick of it.

[Moose72]

I woke up in pain today. My left side and left lower back hurt a lot when I moved. It would hurt when I'd cough or hiccup etc. Just turning over in bed hurt so that I'd grimace. My kidney functioning is impaired according to recent bloodwork. But this felt like muscular- like how did I sleep?! Am I just getting old?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Moose, that sounds like it might be a kidney stone. If it still hurts tomorrow it might be a good idea to get checked out. That hurts so badly and goes from the kidney around the side and down the back. When I had mine I hated having to sit up or roll over because it hurt so much.

[Moose72]

Pdoc is calling me day after tomorrow at 1:30. Dunno what to tell her- yet again.

I'm watching a documentary about Crownsville Maryland's mental hospital. Lots of horrible things went on there over the years and even into the 90's! It's called "Crownsville Hospital: From Lunacy to Legacy" It's on Amazon.