[wolftrap]

I live in an old house on the second floor. Noise and smells travel. When I moved in four years ago, a horrible couple lived below me. They were constantly yelling at each other, banging doors, and smoking inside. I was constantly asking them to stop. They might for a few days, or they would just ignore me. My anxiety skyrocketed. I had to take an increased dose of Seroquel to sleep and my pdoc put me on Zoloft. I was so anxious that I ended up planning my life out on a spreadsheet - hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, and annual activities. I was a mess. The spreadsheet was a life raft, but also increased my anxiety as I couldn't get most things done on it since I was spending so much time obsessing over it. My mood swings became more frequent and more serious. My drinking increased drastically and I started smoking again.

They moved out two years ago. Even though no one else moved in, it took a year to get my anxiety and mood swings under control. Last week a new couple moved in, the nicest people you could ever meet. I felt fortunate to have them. Two nights ago, for the first time, they played music right below my bedroom. Sleep anxiety is my biggest trigger. I couldn't sleep that night or last night, having half-dreams of wandering through an endless house that I thought was mine but was actually theirs. The past two days I've been on edge. I got up the courage to talk with them today, and they were apologetic and sorry to have bothered me. In fact, I just did that and I'm still short of breath and trembling.

I hope that this won't last. I'm hoping that simple the presence of someone below won't trigger anxiety. If so, I'll have to move, which is even more stressful! Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest to folks who will understand.

[MickeyCheeky]

i am so Sorry for what You've experienced, wolf! It seems like You have developed some sort of trauma from ALL of this? Hopefully You'll be able to manage it And keep it Under Control. Are You currently seeing a therapist? Perhaps that may Help as Well! SEnding many Safe, Warm Hugs to BOTH You, @wolftrap, Your Family, Your FriEnds And ALL of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting And keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[*Beth*]

I very much understand. I, too, have sleep anxiety. And I've had my share of horrid neighbors. Problem neighbors can be especially difficult when you're in a flat, sharing the house with others, and are a considerate neighbor yourself. It's great that your new neighbors seem to be a nice couple. Sometimes even the nicest neighbors can do annoying or life disrupting things. Oftentimes, people don't realize they're creating a problem, so it's excellent that you spoke with them right from the start. Good for you! Fingers crossed they will no longer be playing music while you're trying to sleep. xx

[wolftrap]

Micky - I do see a therapist and she has helped me so much over the past few years. I will keep rocking!

Beth - thanks for saying 'good for you'. I do feel proud of myself! Can't wait to tell my therapist. She'll give me a big smile and say "See how much you've improved?!"

[*Beth*]

How's it been with your neighbors, wolf?

[FluffyDinosaur]

Just wanted to express my sympathy. Until recently I was in a similar situation, for years. I know how this sort of thing can completely destroy your stability and sanity. It can truly turn life into hell on earth. I don't know what caused me more insomnia, the noise itself or the anxiety and anger from having to confront people about it.

In my experience there are basically two types of noisy neighbors. The first type is just not aware of the noise they're causing, but they do want to be good neighbors and are horrified when you tell them about the disturbance. It sounds like hopefully that's the kind of neighbor you're dealing with. The second type is either too anti-social or too stupid to be capable of changing their behavior. Unfortunately I had that type of neighbor, and in that situation all you really can do is move.

[wolftrap]

Originally Posted by BethRags

How's it been with your neighbors, wolf?

It's going well, thanks. Turns out he works at home with his headphones on all day, so that's pretty easy to deal with He sent me a nice text apologizing again for the noise. He and his fiance are now downstairs eating dinner and not a peep. Good trajectory so far!

[wolftrap]

Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur

In my experience there are basically two types of noisy neighbors. The first type is just not aware of the noise they're causing, but they do want to be good neighbors and are horrified when you tell them about the disturbance. It sounds like hopefully that's the kind of neighbor you're dealing with. The second type is either too anti-social or too stupid to be capable of changing their behavior. Unfortunately I had that type of neighbor, and in that situation all you really can do is move.

Hey Fluffy, I do think he is the first kind of neighbor. The last people downstairs were the second kind. I had just moved in and didn't want to face the stress of moving again. Luckily they moved out (actually went into foreclosure) after two years.