Do You Worry About This?

Do you ever think that you're too well? I keep fearing that I'll be dropped from the place I see my pdoc (and if I had one right now, my therapist) because they call and nothing is wrong. Its been years since I was IP- 5 years I think. I was almost IP in May of 2019 when I was manic but my pdoc changed her mind and just gave me tons of Seroquel instead. If I don't have proof that Im sick won't they deny me SSI at some point? I have lots of stuff in my file which is how I got SSI in the first place but not in the last year and a half now. This really worries me. I can pay my bills and clean my apartment and go grocery shopping so I really worry that I'll be dropped. And THEN right after that I'd be suicidal or highly manic again... Maybe my stint with paranoia counts? Pdoc's office didn't call me today. Thought they were supposed to. Do you think about this?

I think about this a lot. I struggle with taking care of my house and need help with that so I do have one area that I don't do well in but the difference between now and starting clozaril 5 years ago is huge and I'm terrified of being told I am fine and should work. I've lost my professional license and would have to do a lot to get it back and even then I couldn't handle it. I am qualified for nothing and there is not a single job I can come up with that I could tolerate. But when my therapist says I don't necessarily need weekly visits it scares me.

I don't know a solution, just the fear.

I do consider it, yes. Especially since being approved for SSDI. But then I figure...I'll concern myself with it when I am stable for many months, which so far hasn't happened since I was about 5 years old (seriously). And then I'm 58, so by now I'm so old I'll probably get help just because I'm nearing "retirement age."

I'm absolutely sure that it's a common worry.

Plus I feel paranoid about this and don't know if being paranoid for several days is enough of an episode you know? My mania was pretty bad though in 2019. I wish I had been hospitalized just for this very reason!

Yes, I'm well enough that I can function around my family in my home. I can fake well. I don't see my T or pdoc often maybe 1.5x a month between the 2 of them. I have T's ask why I don't work and say people with BP can work why can't I. I couldn't explain it to them. I worry because sometimes even I feel like I should be working. **** I don't even shower often enough but I still feel like I should be able to work full time.

I use to worry about this pretty often. I can go months and be doing fine and then one day I can wake up and my world is a mess mentally, I can still clean daily, make dinner etc , but if I had a job to be at I know I would not be able to manage. I am not on SSDI just due to Bipolar and all the fun stuff that it includes but also serious health issues..

My T has told me just because I can function well sometimes doesnt mean I no longer qualify, I havent been IP in 3 years and I got a review last year and I got a letter back in 3 -4 weeks later saying that no further info was needed and I would continue as is, If you come up for review keep in mind your pdoc and T or social worker/ case worker has to fill out there portion on how your doing.

Yes I worry about it I wont lie but I try not to think so hard about it..

I'm worried partly about my review. I haven't had one in 5 years. 2 years ago they sent me a one page form about any hospitalizations, surgeries, or medical problems and I returned it. A while later they sent something saying they didn't need more. So I guess that was my review?\

I'm not sure what my therapist will fill in on the review this time. He's good about making it seem as bad as he can. My need for help to clean and really to cook helps I think but last time I at least had recently had psychosis and I think 2 hospitalizations. Now I haven't been IP for 5 years and the psychosis is well controlled.

I guess I'll see when I get it. It will come eventually. Or it won't and that would be lovely.

I worry too. I hold a part-time job (barely). Social Security sent me a letter that they were reviewing my case. Then, last week, I got a letter stating that they were no longer reviewing my case and wouldn't be contacting my doctor. Strange but I'll take it.

Of course, I was IP in December and get ECT every other month, so I'm "lucky" I have that on record. I understand your worry though.

I have worried. I surely will in the future, again. I'm not so at the moment because of what I am going through now. Any reasonable doctor would recognize that my move is highly triggering and that I am quite vulnerable now. Trying to push me into working now would be insanity. Yet what I have managed to do to sell my house and move amazes me, since for so many years that would seem impossible.

Apparently SSDI does give trial periods. That's reassuring for when/if the time comes to return to working. I am nervous because I will be changing psychiatrists sometime within early 2021. Perhaps the new one will see me only doing well, initially. He/she won't know my history like my old one, despite perhaps my old pdoc sharing records or providing a dx statement.

I haven't received a CDR form for a long while. I'm not sure when I will get my next. I am scared of them even when I am sure I am not ready to work. There is always a fear of losing SSDI and not being able to pay bills. I have never had to actually meet with anyone from SS as part of a review, these past 10 years. I think I am on one of the infrequent schedules, if that makes sense. As for CDRs, my first was a short form, second a long one, and third a short one again. I hope my move abroad doesn't trigger one that quickly. So people know, one can continue collecting SSDI even abroad. If ever I needed to meet with someone (other than who will be my pdoc and tdoc), SS has designated doctors even abroad for that kind of thing. If not in the city near where I will live, at least in the country's capital.

I actually do hope to be able to work at least part-time, some day. Truly! Full time? Maybe not, but who knows. My last job was an extreme trigger for me, and many at that workplace witnessed some of my bad episodes. My insanity. It was a bit traumatic.

I was on ssdi for at least 15 years. It has now changed over to retirement. It was based on both medical and mental conditions. I was never concerned about it being related to how often I was or was not hospitalized.

I never had a review after I was approved either. For awhile I was going in and out of the hospital every 6 months and then I had a 6 year break before going back in. It never affected my ssdi.

2019 is pretty recent. I wouldnt worry if i were you.

I was ip 2? 3? Times just last year. I try not to worry...

I don't. If they kick me off disability, I'll try to work and either it works out or it doesn't. If it does, great! If it doesn't, I quit and try to get back on SSDI. Also, I go IP almost every year anyway so highly doubt I'd be kicked off in the first place.

I get it.... I'm with you.... I receive a benefit called PIP and honestly I'm dreading this year as its due for renewal I got 4 years on it. Last time I was manic so that was a bonus as ahe could physically see if was flying high. Plus I also had my Community Support Worker with me who stepped in and told her some tales. The person you take in with you is not allowed to talk. But she allowed it.

I look "normal" so people never know when I'm ill as I hide it all I'm a good actress. I guess it's my own fault for being a brilliant actress lol. Oscars please.

But seriously I am dreading this year it runs out in July. So I will get the letter Feb or March. I'm s****ing myself

I was approved for SSDI in August. Prior to that I'd been IP for less than 24 hours in Nov. '18. Before that I'd been IP in 1987 and in 1995. Recent IP doesn't determine eligibility. For example we have a serious shortage of beds here (which I'll bet is common in many locations). People are discouraged from going IP for that reason. So IP isn't necessarily an indicator of how well/unwell someone is.

I have not beeen reviewed for over 15 years. A couple times I had one coming up, but both timea they cancalled the meeting.

I do worry about this. Ever since I started the latuda I’ve been stable bipolar wise but my back is now so bad I couldn’t work.

Trigger warning.....I am having the opposite problem as you, Moose72. . I think my mental health is too chronic to just be bipolar. Ever since my mom passed nine years ago it is just unrelenting. What makes matters worse, often times my therapist just downplays what I’m going through. If they did a suicide assessment on me every time I’m in crisis I would literally just be in the hospital at least once or twice a month. So fortunately they don’t do that to me but I am alone with this. I lost a job due to Covid that I honestly was barely hanging on to. Now I have to figure out how the **** I am going to be able to keep my **** together in a new environment. Oh and I’m losing my health insurance at the end of the month. Thank you CT! I think the Heavenly Father might be courting me.

My doctor told me I’d always be considered disabled. I had 2 lengthy reviews in 2018 and 2019. They needed a ton of info from doctors and therapists. I needed to fill out stuff. and my job as well needed to fill out paperwork. Which came back and bit me in the *** later but that’s a different story.

Honestly if I didn’t lose my benefits in the past 4 years with you know who running the country and when I was working regularly, I’m pretty confident now with the current state of things that I won’t lose mine. Especially since I can’t work now and am still dependent on my mom for most things.