[Miss Laura]

I haven't worked in 10 solid years. I feel really sad and quite pathetic. Today 9th May marks 10 years. I worked as a Senior Support Worker working in a challenging behaviour unit looking after men with challenging behaviour, autism and learning disabilities. I did my best progressed from a Support Worker to a Senior Support Worker and I was promoted in the November to a Key Worker I was in charge of a service user and a team.

I just feel pretty pants and that I've not amounted to anything. Today has been a mixed day of hyperness and sadness

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[*Beth*]

I'm sorry you're feeling that you haven't amounted to anything, Laura. The work you did do sounds quite interesting. But truly, we are not our jobs and you have a wonderful personality!

[Soupe du jour]

Miss Laura, I am sorry you are feeling down today. I'm sorry you even remember such a lousy "anniversary" of sorts. I try not to. I swear it's better that way. I rarely notice the day, for example, that my mother died. Instead, I just remember her birthday.

I was terminated from my career job around 9 years ago. The exact date, who gives a damn! Did I grieve the loss? Boy yes, but not forever. I'm still not working, but in many ways I feel I have accomplished many things these years that many never could. That I wouldn't have, otherwise. Recovery is hard, but a learning experience.

Might some people out there stigmatize me (and you) for not working these years? Absolutely! But they just don't understand. But Laura, please don't stigmatized yourself.

There are so many valuable things to do for oneself and ways to express yourself during disability. Please explore them. "Would haves", "could haves", "should haves", and "if only I was/hads" are wasteful thoughts that accomplish nothing.

BethRags is so right. You are a wonderful lady! Please be kinder to yourself, though.

What you used to do was so admirable/giving, but there are ways you can still give to others even now. Start by giving something positive to yourself.

[MickeyCheeky]

i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters! You are much more than your own job! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Miss Laura, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[Bipolarchic14]

I read this and I think about it from a different perspective. If you worked until the age of retirement and retired from the job, would you feel this bad about it? I think society trains us to feel a certain way. When I read your post I think to myself how nice that she was able to have a rewarding career helping others that she can look back on even if it’s not something she can do today. Thank you for your service in helping those less fortunate. I’m sorry that you feel pain by the fact that you can no longer do that but just as others stated, you are not your job. You also do a wonderful job of supporting others on platforms like this. Thank you for that!

[Miss Laura]

Thank you everyone, I had a really bad Sunday but you know how it is you just get going. I still feel sad despite it being Thursday. I'm trying hard to look on the bright side

Bright side-

1. Had volunteered for 7 years as a youth worker
2. Volunteering currently with the NHS
3. Met loads of people through groups etc
4. Attended college twice
5. Hopefully inspiring people (maybe/maybe not)

All 5 were after I lost my job. Since 2011 I have done the above. Its just hard to think positively sometimes

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[*Beth*]

Those are wonderful volunteer positions!