[Nammu]

Oh! What a good productive day this was! I had to get up early clean the cat box and take the garbage out. Usually that’s done the night before but I hurt so bad last night I put it off. I took two of mum’s Tylenol and that helped this morning. Then I threw a load in the washer and went back to bed.

Finished the wash and while the last load was in the dryer ran to town picked up my meds and bought a huge bottle of alive, that’s what I use for my pain. I think it works better than Tylenol but you only have to take two pills in 24 hrs!

Got the mattress protector washed! I was afraid to put it in the old washer, but yay! Picked up mum’s meds at her pharmacy then drove though Culver’s for two single scoops of flavor of the day. It was okay, not their best. Carmel and cashew. Now all I have left is to make the bed. I sprayed lavender Lysol on the protector and need to give it time to dry.

Feels good getting all that done. Yesterday I didn’t even get dressed. I took a late shower and just put different pjs on. Today dressed and out and about! Still grumpy weather. The sun came out a few times but mostly gray and overcast with drizzle. No proper rain today.

[Moose72]

When it gets to be after 5:00 and no call back, I start feeling like my call wasn't that important. I mean, how long does it take to read an email and email someone back and then to call me back? Oh well. That was fun at any rate- calling and talking to someone for a bit. Even if I did just make it all up. Even last night in chat- I was making that up, no? Anybody remember? I do have PRN Haldol. I wonder if I should take that? But that's for paranoia, not hypomania. I've got some relaxing music playing and it's been raining for hours and now it's 62 and I have the balcony door open so I'm getting fresh air! Come to think of it, I think I printed too many photos. They are surrounding my living room! They're good pix, though, I must say! I took them myself! I have nowhere else to put more, unless I start putting them up on the walls! Screw the nails in the walls! That's a great idea!

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Moose72

That is WAY too many drugs! You are going to seriously hurt yourself or kill yourself if you keep it up! I think you should tell your new T and Pdoc about this.

Cant say I haven’t already messed myself up. We have to be out of the house for an inspection and I am so lethargic right now and my stomach hurts. I have not gotten out of the car at any of the places we’ve been to because I feel so off physically. I’m currently lying in the front seat of the car with the seat back while my mom is in a store. She thinks I’m not feeling good because of my lunch.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Moose72

When it gets to be after 5:00 and no call back, I start feeling like my call wasn't that important. I mean, how long does it take to read an email and email someone back and then to call me back? Oh well. That was fun at any rate- calling and talking to someone for a bit. Even if I did just make it all up. Even last night in chat- I was making that up, no? Anybody remember? I do have PRN Haldol. I wonder if I should take that? But that's for paranoia, not hypomania. I've got some relaxing music playing and it's been raining for hours and now it's 62 and I have the balcony door open so I'm getting fresh air! Come to think of it, I think I printed too many photos. They are surrounding my living room! They're good pix, though, I must say! I took them myself! I have nowhere else to put more, unless I start putting them up on the walls! Screw the nails in the walls! That's a great idea!

[Mountaindewed]

I did hear back from my surgeon. It’s gonna be tough but it will work out. He’s booked until the end of May. I move in the middle of May. I have to have a Covid test 3 days before at the hospital I’m having the surgery. Which means driving 3 hours for a test, then driving 3 hours back. So my mom is thinking of tying it into my aunts wedding which is at the beginning of June. It’s just liposuction I can’t imagine it will be that terrible of a recovery. But then since we’d already be here for the wedding it just makes sense to do it then. And if I don’t feel like going to the wedding I can just say it’s because of the surgery and hang out at the hotel.

But he’s going to put it through insurance and whatever insurance doesn’t pay the hospital will pay for. I am super glad because I was mainly worried about insurance issues and how to pay. I think for a lot of surgery’s, revisions are free for a certain amount of time.

[Moose72]

So no call back. Grr. I wonder if they will call tomorrow. I still feel like I'm not important enough to call back again. Like pdoc said to my case manager, "Oh HER again??! Just don't reply. She'll go away eventually..." Still listening to Rene Jacobs. It quit raining but its all dripping out now. I have snacked all day. Some chicken here, a dry fake peanut butter sandwich there, and apple over there. I had a granola bar, too.

@Mountaindewed That's a good idea to tie it into the wedding. And like you said, if you don't feel well after, you can just hang out in the hotel.

I'm kinda sleepy. Guess I'm not hypomanic after all if I'm sleepy at 7:30 p.m.! I got up at 9. I went out and did a lot of errands, including doing the $30 rebate for my contacts. It was a lot to do just for 15% of the cost. But oh well. I'm getting a visa gift card with the money on it. That's good for what? I'm not sure! A couple more pix and frames! hahahahahaha! Eleven are not enough! I made a TikTok out of my pix, but it kept cutting off the end. I guess I need to hold it at the end?? They wanted a photo of two boxes of the contacts- the info on the end of the box where your script is. My script is the same for both eyes, so I still took one pic with both boxes in it. Otherwise, they would be like, "You're missing a box. Redo this whole application! Ahhahahahahaha!" I really think I printed out too many photos. And for what? I never have people over. The one person who HAS seen what they look like said I'm going to be an old lady who writes the people's names on their pic on the front. I just felt like these few pix needed immortalized. I need to make another photo book- that's what I need to do, but first I need to study the books I already have to make sure that I don't put the same photo in the new book as in an old one. That is a long process! And a perilous one because you're working with a program the whole time that is drag and drop and type-on-the-page. It's always precarious until you hit that final submit and even then its like "Will it go through or not?" What I really need to do is get some new pix of all the kids that are current. Then I'll really be happy.

Still no call from pdoc or the case manager. I think they left without calling me back. I wonder if pdoc even opened the email from the case manager. I think I shouldn't have called. I called because people in the bipolar chat last night said I should, but when I tell them that pdoc and CM think its weird. Of COURSE they do! Wait till I plunge into depression and guilt WRACKS me woefully! All for printing pix. I started out with the one of N3 - the super close up of his face pouting- and then I had to have more then I had to have MORE! Now I have them SURROUNDING me in my living room! All for what- for me to see them every day and get bored of them and want MORE?? Nobody is going to see them, really. Except whoever looks at my TikTok, which I MADE that video for my friend Christine to see how many I have!

I'm out of the habit of writing poetry. It was all in January and mostly February. I haven't written in my blog in over a month, as there are no posts from March, and so far none for April.

[Mountaindewed]

I kind of want to check myself into the hospital right now. I don’t know why though. I’m not S or having any thoughts of SH. I feel safe with my meds. I don’t know what’s up to be honest. I’m wondering if I miscounted and this is the week I’m dealing with PMDD. Makes sense since last week was unusually mild. Unless I’m just having a nervous breakdown I really can’t think of anything that’s wrong. Things are going very well actually. They are just very stressful. It’s a weird feeling I’m having right now. But I do feel safe.

[Sunflower123]

I woke up at 4:00 this morning to get to my 8:00 am PT appointment. I had some things to do first. I am surely tired and sore now. It’s working though!

Yea, that many Klonopin was a poor choice. Being super impulsive in that area doesn’t help matters.

I took my brother for his first vaccination! He at first said no and when he says no there is no budging him. I gradually wore him down.

My daughter and I are slowly heading in the right direction. We’ll talk tomorrow. One thing I won’t do is give my power away again. I’ve been doing it most of her life. That is going to change. Boundaries are needed.

It was a beautiful, sunny, breezy day today. My favorite kind.

[gina_re]

I got a lot done today. I was kept busy for the majority of the day at work. I was able to sneak in my homework assignment that was due last night and I posted it today. I would've stayed late at work bc I was helping with a project, but I promised the boys I would come over and they could help me pick out some plants for my front yard. The four year old told me I needed flowers in my front yard, so I decided to finally update the front yard. So I bought nearly $200 worth of plants to be planted. I called my landscaper the other day so I'm waiting for a call back as to when they can actually take care of planting them for me. I still gotta buy mulch too. I put aside a chunk of my stimulus payment to pay for this. I'm too lazy to do all this planting myself, so I have to save to pay for it instead. I hate gardening, but my front yard definitely needs an update.

I had a nice day and felt more accepting of my lifestyle. It takes me several hours to wake up. I had a nice time at my ZOOM social hour and spent 90 minutes outside today as it was finally a decent temp. I made a point of talking to my neighbor to get some face-to-face time. Still didn't get a walk in as my toe is still too sore but there's always tomorrow.

On the news they said obesity is one of the risk factors considered in vax so finally, at last, being fat comes in handy! They cited a BMI i qualify for. It's for another region but hopefully my region will follow suit once vax are available for us.

The benzo taper continues. I'm not feeling very ambitious. It's my top priority and i've got to be free to attend to it if it goes South.

COVID restrictions have been tightened even further. We live in strange days.

Hugs to all!

[Soupe du jour]

Moose72, I hope you get that call soon. When you do, you might consider asking if the prn Haldol could be taken for hypomania, and not just paranoia. I would think it could help for both. Antipsychotics have always been my hypo/mania fighters. And they really said that about you? That's terrible! How did you hear that? I would have a talk with them about such an unfair statement.

Nammu, I washed a mattress pad yesterday, too. Mattress pad day, I guess. Anyway, I am glad you're out and about again. And I am sure kitty is happy.

Whatever2013, I think I wrote this a few days ago, but want to again commend you on your positive efforts and attitude. You're doing great, my friend!

Gina_re, what a lovely thing to buy with some of your stimulus payment! I think flowers are super good for mental well-being. My husband and I will soon be going to the garden center, too.

Jennifer1967, good job getting your brother to get a vaccination! I'm also happy to read that you are creating healthy boundaries with your daughter.

[Moose72]

@Soupe du jour No they didn't say that. I'm just imagining that they did!

[Victoria'smom]

Moose72 hope they call back soon.

Where's the line between acceptably angry and enraged? The State senate passed a bill. I'm so angry I want to destroy stuff but that won't help. Venting isn't helping. I'm not even mad because it's my kid. He'll be fine. It's all the other kids I'm mad for. So much anger. What's a constructive way to handle this. We lost not that we were going to win.

[Soupe du jour]

Thank goodness our bedroom suite arrived today. Two workers are assembling it all, as I type this. If Hubby and I attempted, we'd have nervous breakdowns and it wouldn't get done for weeks. Hopefully they'll be done by dinner. In the meantime, Hubby started assembling our new gas grill. He barely got through two steps before stopping.

I made my first chocolate chip cookies in my new home. They are yummy, but a little flatter than I'd like, yet still chewy. They don't have the same kind of brown sugar here as in the US, so I ended up making my own using granulated white, and molasses. A clerk in the grocery store didn't even know what molasses is. Neither did my sister-in-law. Luckily I found some in the health food section. Chocolate chip cookies wouldn't be the same without this type of brown sugar. Next time I'll add some more flour and refrigerate the dough longer. Perhaps that will make them less flat. It's a real adventure baking here!

@Soupe du jour: So glad your bedroom suite has arrived! Now maybe you can get some comfortable sleep. The cookies look delish! I wish you were my next-door-neighbor and we could have a coffee break together!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

So no call back. Grr. I wonder if they will call tomorrow. I still feel like I'm not important enough to call back again. Like pdoc said to my case manager, "Oh HER again??! Just don't reply. She'll go away eventually..."...

Call again, Moose! To heck with what they think. You need to talk with someone and that's what matters.

[*Beth*]

I have had the necessary repairs done on my car (an elderly 2002 Saturn SUV). At least, I hope all the repairs have been done. On Monday I have to take it in for a smog test so I can get it registered. The emissions testing here is extremely rigid.

Going to my nice little pharmacy today to pick up a bunch of medication. It's the first time I'll actually set foot in the pharmacy. Prior to this it was curbside pick-up or delivery. It'll feel strange walking into the pharmacy after a year of not doing so.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

@Soupe du jour: So glad your bedroom suite has arrived! Now maybe you can get some comfortable sleep. The cookies look delish! I wish you were my next-door-neighbor and we could have a coffee break together!

I’d like to be a next door neighbor too!

[buddha1too]

Are you guys planning a neighborhood consisting only of bipolar people? I'm afraid it would have to be a gated community! Just kidding...

[Nammu]

ha ha gated to keep out non bipolar!

[Nammu]

No lousy HOA here, we can put up all the colorful statues we want!

[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing kind of bad today. I had planned on going on a small road trip. But I didn’t get out of bed until 8. I didn’t take a shower and I had wanted to but I didn’t have time. My mom had a doctors appointments and then we were going to go straight on our trip. We went to Krispie Kreme at 8:30 to get the new Oreo donuts. They are only out for a couple more days and the new ones sell out pretty fast after the store opens. Then we came home for a bit around 9 before the appointment. I went up to bed and decided to save the road trip for Monday since I was so tired. My mom agreed and said she was tired as well. Instead of just lying down like I usually just do I actually fell asleep from 9:15 until 11:45. Then I got up and got an ice cream cone from Baskin Robbins. But I am still tired and down so I am back in bed again. I’m missing my therapist again today.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

@Soupe du jour: So glad your bedroom suite has arrived! Now maybe you can get some comfortable sleep. The cookies look delish! I wish you were my next-door-neighbor and we could have a coffee break together!

@whatever2013, @Nammu, & @buddha1too, and all others here, it would be absolutely lovely to have you over for coffee and tea (and cookies)!

buddha1too, that was great one! Thanks for making me laugh after a long tiring day. My bedroom is ready, save moving clothes and decorating with art. The mattress is WONDERFUL!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I have had the necessary repairs done on my car (an elderly 2002 Saturn SUV). At least, I hope all the repairs have been done. On Monday I have to take it in for a smog test so I can get it registered. The emissions testing here is extremely rigid.

Going to my nice little pharmacy today to pick up a bunch of medication. It's the first time I'll actually set foot in the pharmacy. Prior to this it was curbside pick-up or delivery. It'll feel strange walking into the pharmacy after a year of not doing so.

Hi BethRags. My husband's old Subaru used to pass emissions tests every time, despite its age. His secrets? Products called "Motor Honey" (used to be "Engine Honey"), "Guaranteed to Pass Emissions Test Formula", and/or "Smoke No More". He would use them a couple hundred miles before going to DMV. He bought these products online, usually from Amazon. I'm sure DMV wouldn't like it, but...Um...Sometimes ya gotta do, what ya gotta do when you're not quite ready to buy a new car.

Maybe California's emissions tests are stricter than New Jersey's. I lived in CA for a couple years, ages ago, but never owned a car there. In Berkeley, there was no need.

[Nammu]

I’m so glad the mattress worked out soupe. Hopefully now you can get consistent deep sleep again.