how important is physical contact for you?

I posted this as a question in the questions thread, but I thought I would make it's own thread too

to me, it is super important, and super vital and over the years, it's become more and more essential.

I love a good hug, providing I'm the person who is controling the hug. I also really apreciate when I meet someone if they shake my hand

if they don't physically touch me (shake my hand, give me a hug, what ever) I always asume the worst and they don't want to be friends with me- which isn't true at all, I just think it

plus: I have a fear of people collapsing. if I'm holding them up and keeping them safe, they can't exactly collapse

also I think a lot of it is down to my childhood wishes/ tendencies. I want to be held, I want to be hugged, etc etc etc

[*Beth*]

I've always been a hand shaker and I love hugs.

[MuddyBoots]

It depends. Sometimes I love hugs, especially great big bear hugs after you haven't seen someone you love in a long time. Sometimes I can't stand any sort of physical contact and it makes me uber anxious. I don't get it really.

[Soupe du jour]

My husband and I are very affectionate in all ways, including physically. My mother was an extremely affectionate person, too. The greatest hug on this earth! I swear! I truly utterly miss that, but at least they live on in my memories.

As for the rest of my family, we aren't particularly physically affectionate. Sort of more if we haven't seen each other in a while, we'll hug and give each other kisses. Not a lot more.

When it comes to friends, I don't really hug or kiss much. I am one to pat friends on the shoulder or generally just reach out and squeeze their arm, when appropriate. I'll say that some friends and acquaintances are more prone to showing physical affection more than me. But I think in some ways it's cultural. For example, I know that some Italians are very physically affectionate. My family is of early colonial Anglo-American background. A little more standoffish, in that sense.

I do initiate handshakes with some new people. Or of those that offer a little more, I don't generally mind. I've had a drunken stranger come and give me a bear hug and kiss in the past. It didn't really scare me because my husband was somewhat nearby. I knew the dude was drunk, so I didn't hold it against him.

[Skeezyks]

Hugs, as well as other forms of physical contact, used to be important to me. But, over the years, I've become increasingly distant to the point where I don't feel comfortable being touched by anyone. I do harbor a secret yearning for hugs & to be held. But whenever I actually get it (which is rare) it feels very uncomfortable and I feel the need to break away as quickly as possible. Actually, in that sense, the pandemic has been helpful for me because it discourages people from getting close enough to touch.

I don't mind hugs, but handshakes give me anxiety. I always worry about my hand being sweaty or my handshake being too limp and then there's the thought of spreading germs

[Mountaindewed]

I am autistic and even someone brushing up against me by accident makes me feel weird. I don’t like handshakes or hugs. My brother in law is always giving hugs and I wish he didn’t. My sister tried giving me a hug to other day but she said she was dirty from mowing the lawn so I got out of that one. I don’t get why they need to hug each time they see us since they live 15 minutes away and are always over.

it is lovely you have the memory of your mothers hug @Soupe du jour

memories like that you should hold on to

Originally Posted by BethRags

I've always been a hand shaker and I love hugs.

I think we're all ready friends, then. lol

[Ursula Shackleton]

It depends, but like others here, I think it's because of childhood issues. I was obligated to hug all of my family members during visits, which meant I regularly *had* to hug the person who was molesting me.

If I'm really close to someone, especially when going through a difficult time, I want *some* hugs. I like a hug now and again, but I'm not really a cuddler or overly affectionate. If I haven't seen someone I care about for a long time and then see them again, I will immediately reach for a hug. If it's my son and he wants hugs though, that's a whole different story. He is just walking sunshine.

[Miss Laura]

I'm a hug phobic I hate having to hug. I get really stressed out, panicky etc when known I need to hug someone.... covid has been a dream on this aspect. Everyone wants to hug but I just hate it too embarrassing.

I hate shaking hands too.... I have a disorder where I have excessively sweating hands had it since childhood. As soon as someone touches me I go clammy then sweat profusely. Its really embarrassing and infuriates me

I'm the person that just goes hi and smiles. Hands in my pockets or folded over my chest lol

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[mssweatypalms]

Handshakes make me anxious, too. I often have sweaty palms, hence the name.

I like hugs from my family members and friends. From other people, let's say at a reunion, hugs feel so uncomfortable.

Originally Posted by Ursula Shackleton

It depends, but like others here, I think it's because of childhood issues. I was obligated to hug all of my family members during visits, which meant I regularly *had* to hug the person who was molesting me.

If I'm really close to someone, especially when going through a difficult time, I want *some* hugs. I like a hug now and again, but I'm not really a cuddler or overly affectionate. If I haven't seen someone I care about for a long time and then see them again, I will immediately reach for a hug. If it's my son and he wants hugs though, that's a whole different story. He is just walking sunshine.

that's terrible

so sorry you had to regularly hug an abuser. that must have felt..... well, I can't imagine

[Ursula Shackleton]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

that's terrible

so sorry you had to regularly hug an abuser. that must have felt..... well, I can't imagine

I appreciate the kind words. It added to the massive anger issues I had as a kid; that's for sure.

[Fuzzybear]

I will only let Papa bear hug me.

Not that anyone else wants to (irl).. not that I even talk to them anymore.

[nativechic]

I like hugs from people I am close to but with quarantine had to go almost a year without any because my mom was in nursing home that forced me to stay 6 ft away from her.

Originally Posted by nativechic

I like hugs from people I am close to but with quarantine had to go almost a year without any because my mom was in nursing home that forced me to stay 6 ft away from her.

awww... how is your mom doing now?

I was never allowed to see my grandmother in the nursing home. my mother forbid it

[wolftrap]

I wish my family hugged more. It's always been an awkward thing. I don't like hugs from strangers. Hugs with friends are fine, but I never initiate. It's just not in my vocabulary. I like shaking hands with anyone!

[nativechic]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

awww... how is your mom doing now?

I was never allowed to see my grandmother in the nursing home. my mother forbid it

She's doing well. I'm able to visit her in her room now though only for an hour during 10-4 visiting hours. She gets tired a lot so I don't take her out very often.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by wolftrap

I wish my family hugged more. It's always been an awkward thing. I don't like hugs from strangers. Hugs with friends are fine, but I never initiate. It's just not in my vocabulary. I like shaking hands with anyone!

I wished the family hugged me more (or at all)... it was ... (not in their vocabulary.) I don't initiate hugs with friends either. I used to be ok with people shaking my paw (until I grew bear claws (bad joke )