[jpb4815]

Hey all, it's been a long time since I have even thought about my illness. I had not had any mood swings or anxiety in over 2 years until last week. It had gotten so good that I had stopped taking anything other that this silly Charlottes Web CBD tincture.
I relapsed during my last manic episode, and have been taking methadone to help me not use opiates. I honestly thought the CBD was helping me, not that the 140 mg of Methadone was keeping me so stoned that I was just flat. So a few weeks ago I decided to taper off of my methadone and do sobriety without my training wheels. One thing I didn't consider, was that ALL of my mental health issues would come roaring back with a vengeance.
So now here I am, 8.5 weeks of 100% sobriety and I am starting to loose my ****. Every time I drive I am seeing somebody in my rearview mirror, there are pigeons in my hallway. My psychiatrist moved away during covid, I changed primary doc and cant see my therapist for another 2 days.

I really don't want to go back into the hospital to sort this out, but I am afraid that this will just get worse before I can get my meds sorted out. I really did not think that being on my methadone was having such an impact on my mental health.

[*Beth*]

Is it possible that you do need methadone, but at a smaller dose? That may give you benefit without making you feel flat.

[jpb4815]

Well I ended up in the ER, and am waiting for them to determine just how bad I am. These wonderful hallucinations have gone from bad to worse. If I wasn’t feeling like my skin was crawling and hearing the birds coo behind me it might be kind of funny.
I don’t know about the methadone, but I do know that I need to get back on something.

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[Cubs2016]

Don't be scared of going back into the hospital. Maybe its for the best. The same or similar situation has happened to me minus the methadone. I have a high stress kind of high powered job and I was afraid I would lose my job if I went into the hospital. But my therapist said look. You will lose your job if you DONT go. She makes sense. The hospital can start tge ball rolling on medications faster and get you hooked up with a new psychiatrist faster than you, yourself can. Best of luck.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by jpb4815

Well I ended up in the ER, and am waiting for them to determine just how bad I am. These wonderful hallucinations have gone from bad to worse. If I wasn’t feeling like my skin was crawling and hearing the birds coo behind me it might be kind of funny.
I don’t know about the methadone, but I do know that I need to get back on something.

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I'm glad you are being seen. I hope they can get the hallucinations under control.

[jpb4815]

Thanks everyone, I ended up getting admitted to the inpatient ward of a satellite hospital. We are having a Covid outbreak at the main hospital.
Today is my first full day, I am curious to see what meds they will try this time.

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[jpb4815]

Well this has been interesting to say the least, I am now on zyprexa, lamictal, and clonazapam. Oh and something for night terrors because of this recurring dream that I keep having.

And in what has to be some sort of cliche, there is a very attractive girl in here who wants to be "friends with benefits" with me. I know that it is a bad idea but I have no will power, she wants me to come to her room after bed checks tonight. I don't know if I can say no, I don't want to say no, but the non lizard part of my brain is telling me that I need to just focus on me getting better.

I welcome any advice, even though I know what you all are going to say. It's just that we click and I have never spent this much time with somebody who really gets me like she does.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by jpb4815

Well this has been interesting to say the least, I am now on zyprexa, lamictal, and clonazapam. Oh and something for night terrors because of this recurring dream that I keep having.

And in what has to be some sort of cliche, there is a very attractive girl in here who wants to be "friends with benefits" with me. I know that it is a bad idea but I have no will power, she wants me to come to her room after bed checks tonight. I don't know if I can say no, I don't want to say no, but the non lizard part of my brain is telling me that I need to just focus on me getting better.

I welcome any advice, even though I know what you all are going to say. It's just that we click and I have never spent this much time with somebody who really gets me like she does.

Imagine getting caught in the middle of the "benefits". Imagine then that the staff decides to bring up a meeting for everybody's ears- even without pointing you out specifically. Imagine if this girl got pregnant or she gave you an STI. I view all relationships when IP as temporary and superficial. And what if none of the above happens but the "benefits" just aren't good? These are my thoughts.

[jpb4815]

Oh I know it’s a terrible idea, it just baffles me how this stuff always ends up happening to me

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