[Mountaindewed]

She was switching me to another therapist who has a waiting list that isn’t moving. After how these past few days have gone I sent her an email asking if she knew of another therapist who’d work well with trans and people with autism. She said she only knew of the one I already saw and the one I am being switched to. Her attitude was basically “figure it out on your own.” And she gave me the link to the offices therapist directory.

But she said “now that I know I am doing more harm then good the connection has been broken and I can’t see you in good faith anymore.” She has canceled all our appointments and said “its been a pleasure working with you.”

I don’t know. That doesn’t sound like the right thing to do. I was just asking if she knew of any other therapist that would work out because I felt like things were not with us. I never once said I wanted to stop seeing her until then. I just figured we could work through this until It was my turn on the waiting list. I didn’t think she’d just upright stop seeing me all of a sudden.

I know there’s nothing I can do about her personally. But what can I do in general? Is this reportable type behavior?

Mainly I’m just confused. I’ve called therapists unprofessional and stuff before and they never just said “ok well good luck then with the next person!” They have always continued to work with me until I found someone.

Edit: Ok I feel better about things now that I can think clearly. I had a medical issue going on for a couple days and I went to immediate care this morning and that was stressing me out more then her. So I just say f her and move on.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry, I don't know if it's reportable because she gave you a list of other therapists to try. I would call your insurance and ask them if there's anyone in your area. But the right non-specialized T can be worth their weight in gold. Especially if they're willing to work with you. Unfortunately (like me) you're a high risk patient. T's can loose their license if something bad happens to us. So less T's want to take the risk of working with us. I think that's what happen here.

As much as you don't want to is there an IOP that will take you during this time? because you'll need extra support. I've learned to be very open and honest my first and second appointment about how high risk I am. Actually I have a page typed up about it so I just bring that with me to my first appointment.

For me this concoction of medication has kept me lower risk then before where everything was "If I'm honest this time will I end up hospitalized?" But they needed the whole picture to get to this place.

The med changes were rough on me. Scary as hell. I had to put my faith in my team. My ability to medicate had to be taken out of my hands. I would either over medicate or under medicate Both are considered misusing medication. Eventually I was told I needed injectable medications and that scared me almost as much as hospitalization. Honestly it was the best thing for me. I also have 3 other medication I take. My ability to take them properly is solely based on the date of my last injection.

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear and I know we have different issues but maybe a higher level of stability can be found with a new T. I'm sorry I know how much it sucks to hear I no longer want to work with you.

[Mountaindewed]

I was in IOP last year and I really liked it. But I was told they are not doing them in my area because of Covid. I do have a list of LGBTQ support groups I can look into. Everyone keeps telling me to join one of those.

As for the meds I know it’s tough. I’ve been getting better with mine though ever since switching to Benadryl for sleep a couple nights ago. I’m not so frantic now with them. I’ve been on most of mine for years. My Pdoc allows me to make my own med decisions and I can tell him when something isn’t working and he listens.

Injectable meds were suggested to me one time as a teenager. I’m not sure except for my Geodon if any of them come that way.

Yeah in her email she mentioned seeing a specialized therapist and I do want to wait for this one she recommended. So I’m just gonna hang on for now.

At least the medical part of my new state has been really good.

[*Beth*]

Join the LGBTQ group and be with peers who really understand and support you. I suspect that some of the T's you've seen are bigots...or are at least confused about how to handle your situation.

[*Beth*]

Also, the group may lead you to more connections with mental health providers, etc.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry things are being so hard also! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters in that i am not sure if this is reportable behavior. Although she may have been perhaps a bit rude i think she may have also done the best thing if she truly felt it couldn't work out. You also seem to share that opinion based on your post at least so maybe it was the right decision? i am not sure. In any case i Hope you'll find another therapist actually able to Help you really soon obviously. Do try your Best. i also agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about joining a lgbtq group and to talk with them if possible. i Hope things will improve really soon for everyone and that you will find the Help you need also. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Mountaindewed, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I don't know if it's worth it since you're having surgery this week but you might be able to call the new therapist's office and explain that you no longer have a therapist to see if they might be able to get you in sooner given the circumstances.

EVeryone is different but I really needed 2 weeks before I had therapist after my hysterectomy. I had a phone session at 1 week post-op and I was still so tired and on pain meds that my therapist couldn't keep me awake and eventually very gently told me that I was asleep and he was hanging up. So it was kind of a check-in but not the best. Other people have an easier recovery than I did though so maybe it would be ok at 1 weeks for some people.

[sarahsweets]

Great idea! Maybe if you mentioned she is w/o a therapist and would be willing to have a telesession even if its for a 20 minute eval.

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I don't know if it's worth it since you're having surgery this week but you might be able to call the new therapist's office and explain that you no longer have a therapist to see if they might be able to get you in sooner given the circumstances.

EVeryone is different but I really needed 2 weeks before I had therapist after my hysterectomy. I had a phone session at 1 week post-op and I was still so tired and on pain meds that my therapist couldn't keep me awake and eventually very gently told me that I was asleep and he was hanging up. So it was kind of a check-in but not the best. Other people have an easier recovery than I did though so maybe it would be ok at 1 weeks for some people.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m just going to wait it out and see what happens after my surgery. I don’t seem particularly bothered by this anymore. In fact I’ve been stressing less about other things since her last email yesterday. She was clearly a bigot. This is just my first time experiencing transphobia in person and it just kind of threw me off guard that a therapist would be the first to do it.

But today I’m ok and I’m just going to wait it out. This seems more like an annoyance now to me then how it made me feel on Friday. I’ve always been better off on my own anyways and I’ve gotten less hurt.

I do plan on doing therapy again though, but yeah support groups may be more of what I need then individual therapy.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I don't know if it's worth it since you're having surgery this week but you might be able to call the new therapist's office and explain that you no longer have a therapist to see if they might be able to get you in sooner given the circumstances.

EVeryone is different but I really needed 2 weeks before I had therapist after my hysterectomy. I had a phone session at 1 week post-op and I was still so tired and on pain meds that my therapist couldn't keep me awake and eventually very gently told me that I was asleep and he was hanging up. So it was kind of a check-in but not the best. Other people have an easier recovery than I did though so maybe it would be ok at 1 weeks for some people.

Yeah I have heard that it usually takes 2 weeks to actually be able to function a bit. My doctor told me I wouldn’t be myself for 6 weeks.

I have tough recoveries with surgeries so I’m expecting this one won’t be any different.

I have a question. Did you lose or gain any weight with your hysterectomy? I often lose about 10 pounds after surgery because of nausea and pain.

[Mountaindewed]

I was bored and looked at a couple practices. A couple people seem promising. My first question when I call is “do you work with trans people and are comfortable around them?” And the second one is “do you specialize in EDs?” Because the second you tell someone that it’s been suggested you have one they will freak the **** out if they are not trained. I don’t want to get hurt again. So I need to be very specific in my questions on the phone and not have this happen for the 3rd time.

One I may call really likes working with lgbtq people and she also knows about autism and eating disorders. She’s taking new clients and she does in person sessions. It may be worth giving her a call.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I was bored and looked at a couple practices. A couple people seem promising. My first question when I call is “do you work with trans people and are comfortable around them?” And the second one is “do you specialize in EDs?” Because the second you tell someone that it’s been suggested you have one they will freak the **** out if they are not trained. I don’t want to get hurt again. So I need to be very specific in my questions on the phone and not have this happen for the 3rd time.

Your first question is a good one. Best to know where the therapist is at right away, as far as trans. If she shows the least hesitation, run away fast.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Yeah I have heard that it usually takes 2 weeks to actually be able to function a bit. My doctor told me I wouldn’t be myself for 6 weeks.

I have tough recoveries with surgeries so I’m expecting this one won’t be any different.

I have a question. Did you lose or gain any weight with your hysterectomy? I often lose about 10 pounds after surgery because of nausea and pain.

I honestly don't remember; it was 11 years ago. Sorry.

[Mountaindewed]

So last night I had my mom contact my transference T. The one I was meeting with before I moved. Who I had a lot of issues with towards the end. I had my mom ask if she’d be willing to work with me again. I knew what the answer would be but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask. She sent a very gentle email back and said she was overly full with clients and that she also felt it was not the best to see me again because we weren’t making progress because of my eating disorder which she does not specialize in. But she was nice in her email.

I don’t know why I had my mom do it. I guess I just still have feelings about her. I’m glad she remembers me and remembered the situation.

So now my next step is to call that one therapist in the area who seems to be able to meet my needs and seems to have openings and does in person sessions. At least according to what her bio says online.

[Mountaindewed]

That therapist isn’t taking new clients. But a similar one is who is comfortable with trans autistic and ED people and is taking new clients. She does in person sessions too. I have an appointment on the 11th. I’m not sure about insurance I had to give them my info. This is a completely different practice and my old therapist will absolutely not be allowed to contact her and discuss things with her.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

That therapist isn’t taking new clients. But a similar one is who is comfortable with trans autistic and ED people and is taking new clients. She does in person sessions too. I have an appointment on the 11th. I’m not sure about insurance I had to give them my info. This is a completely different practice and my old therapist will absolutely not be allowed to contact her and discuss things with her.

That's good that your old therapist won't be able to contact the new one. (Do they usually do that??)

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

That therapist isn’t taking new clients. But a similar one is who is comfortable with trans autistic and ED people and is taking new clients. She does in person sessions too. I have an appointment on the 11th. I’m not sure about insurance I had to give them my info. This is a completely different practice and my old therapist will absolutely not be allowed to contact her and discuss things with her.

Why would your old therapist even do that? Have you signed some sort of release allowing her to talk to whoever is caring for you whenever she wants?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mountaindewed]

I had originally signed a release of information for my ex t to talk to the one I was originally going to be switched to since they knew each other and had worked together. I guess I might have been talked into it a bit.

In the last email my ex t sent me she said I could sign a release for her to talk to whoever I started working with next. Which I will not be doing because I don’t want anything bad said about me like I think she’s perfectly capable of doing.

I just want to start new with a new practice who doesn’t know anything about me.

[Mountaindewed]

I signed a release for my transference T to talk to the therapist I was working with after her. but she wasn’t exactly honest in what she told her. She said the emails were my fault when she was the one who allowed them to go on for so long. I remember that therapist saying sarcastically “I wish she had told me that.” When I told her the truth since it made me look kinda bad. But then that therapist refused to email me too. So this last one didn’t have a release for the previous one so she didn’t know about the email thing at all.

Release of informations are tricky. Sometimes they can be helpful but other times they can come back and get you in the ***.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I was bored and looked at a couple practices. A couple people seem promising. My first question when I call is “do you work with trans people and are comfortable around them?” And the second one is “do you specialize in EDs?” Because the second you tell someone that it’s been suggested you have one they will freak the **** out if they are not trained. I don’t want to get hurt again. So I need to be very specific in my questions on the phone and not have this happen for the 3rd time.

One I may call really likes working with lgbtq people and she also knows about autism and eating disorders. She’s taking new clients and she does in person sessions. It may be worth giving her a call.

she sounds perfect!!!!!!Call her right away!
bizi

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by bizi

she sounds perfect!!!!!!Call her right away!
bizi

Is the cat in your profile picture Mr. Kitty from South Park?

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by bizi

she sounds perfect!!!!!!Call her right away!
bizi

I called her yesterday and I’m meeting with her on the 11th. I was thinking today of maybe trying to move it up to this Thursday but my mom says I should be focusing on doing laundry and taking a shower and eating decently instead of having a first appointment.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Is the cat in your profile picture Mr. Kitty from South Park?

Could be, I don't remember where I got the avatar from, I love the kitty.
WE have 3 cats so we are cat people. I am not that fond of dogs, we

both work so that would not be fair to the dog being crated so much.
bizi

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I called her yesterday and I’m meeting with her on the 11th. I was thinking today of maybe trying to move it up to this Thursday but my mom says I should be focusing on doing laundry and taking a shower and eating decently instead of having a first appointment.

Absolutely do not contact your therapist asking to change your appointment. It seems like U2 haven’t been on the same page anyhow and she’s sort of like squeezing you in or doing you a favor right? Maybe I missed that

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Absolutely do not contact your therapist asking to change your appointment. It seems like U2 haven’t been on the same page anyhow and she’s sort of like squeezing you in or doing you a favor right? Maybe I missed that

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This is a completely new therapist for another practice that I found on my own. I haven’t met her yet. Its not the one that was recommended to me.

But no I didn’t contact her to change my appointment.