Not wanting to take meds because they work

I drop weight fast when not on meds. It's because I don't eat, barely sleep, my Ed voice comes back. I want the weight loss, I don't mind the psychosis, it's the dangerous rages and depressions. I kinda want to fade away from my treatment team and meds the whole thing.

no.no.no
please don't do this.
the depression that follows can be devastating.
and dangerous.
(((((HUGS)))))

I understand how you feel because I have felt the same way. The problem, as you know, is when the shite hits the fan. Then you have to start all over with meds. Keep taking your medication, Mm. The crash-down isn't worth it if you don't.

My husband has control of my meds so I don't mismanage them, or throw them out. It's not like I'm feeling the most stable now but it does work. I just feel done. I've been at this over 15 years. I want to just lay low. I know in reality I've only recently received "proper" medication for a couple of months. Maybe this is part of me being unstable? I don't know and it's not like a new t can help me because they don't know me.

Maybe getting my file from years ago would help? I'd have to get the file from my first psychiatrist. Kinda proving to myself that the meds are worth it.

I'm with you. I am very tired of this whole meds thing and would like nothing more than to start a quick wean off. I must have been happy once. I have memories of it even if they were for the not so right reasons.

Totally relate. I’ve been ready to throw my meds out the window for a couple of weeks now. I just was sooooo mad that I’ve been unstable for seemingly no reason for the last two months. Today is the first day I’ve felt normal. So, I’m going to keep taking my meds.

I know you go through hell when you’re not on meds. I do too. And that’s what I have to hang on to when I feel like ditching them all. I know how bad my mind can get and after what happened last may I am NOT down with experiencing it again.

So please, stay on your meds!

The thing about being well on meds is that it makes you think you are not really sick.

I have been through years of taking meds, feeling a bit better and getting off of them. Almost every time I ended up in the hospital.

You know the meds are working when you feel you don't need them anymore. But you do. Don't let yourself slip back into a state of mania and depression.

I am addicted to mania, but the paranoia kills me and the depression crash that comes after is unbearable.

I have been stable for 5 years on the right meds with tweaks here and there. In fact I am in the midst of a med tweak right now due to a mixed episode.

The illness still comes back even with the right meds. There is no cure for mental illness, all you can do is try to manage the symptoms as best you can. And this means sticking with your meds.

The problem is I don't recognize depression. It just is what it is and that's how life is. It's very possible I'm going through a mood swing. I'm thinking a slow decent doesn't feel as justified as a complete explotion of my life.this functional but still not okay is getting to me.

Yes my brain off meds is harsh but I feel like that at least I could handle. Not with good coping methods but they we my methods. I can't really voice this because everyone is scared to work with me off meds.
Thank you guys.

(((((((( Hugs )))))))))

Mm, how are you doing?

I'm definitely depressed. Haven't done anything productive in weeks. I missed my shot because I didn't want to shower. So I'm having withdrawals my head kills enough that I called to reschedule it they want me to come in tomorrow. So I have to see what this nurse says she's not the nurse I like. So I'm not ready to see another therapist. We'll see I kids just over BP/Sza. I've been either sleeping or up because I didn't take my meds.
It looks like we will be moving in 2years. I'm not suicidal most of the time. But I still really don't want to take a shower. My parents are on me because I have $200 dollars in art classes I haven't done in weeks and I bought a switch and don't play it.

Miguel said he'd rather have Bp then what he has. Then he found out there's mix states and he said omg, I take it back that's horrible. So he thought it was one or the other.

I've been trying to convince my family we have to eat together because I don't know if I'm eating enough. I'm mainly eating crap because no one is cooking in my house. So lots of cereal, soda and sandwiches. I need to pull myself together, I just don't want to.

I'm sending you love.

Do you have someone living with you that can help you manage your meds and remember to take them?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom I drop weight fast when not on meds. It's because I don't eat, barely sleep, my Ed voice comes back. I want the weight loss, I don't mind the psychosis, it's the dangerous rages and depressions. I kinda want to fade away from my treatment team and meds the whole thing.

My husband is holding them. So I can't throw them out or take them more than is prescribed. I'm still taking them sometimes. I missed my shot again. I'll try again Monday. At this point I can't make any excuses besides the truth. I've kinda just gave up.

You have been thru so much and you mustn't give up.
have some faith that your meds will help you.
I am glad that your hubby is helping you with your meds. he can help you get your shot too.
bizi

Your words “ I am addicted to mania, but the paranoia kills me” really hit home. I love mania but the mess afterward is too hard to clean up.
Do not play games with your meds. Skipping them leaves too much damage in its wake. You owe it to yourself.