Bipolar check-in #61

I cant believe its been nearly two years since my last ip. I got out early may 2020. since then i have started school and im still working partime. i still have therapy every two weeks. i see my dr every 3 months now (thats a huge deal)! i still take my meds daily and rarely take valium anymore (i used to be prescribed 3times a day). overall i am just happy with life. i have my moments and days. i still slakc at chores and homework. some days i dont shower. but i dont give up.

i say all this to say if any of yall know me...you know how huge a deal this is!!!

Congratulations Hallie. You've worked really hard.

Thank you so much! It hasnt been easy. Its just, man. I never thought id go one year without ip and im nearing two. i start my BSW practicum this fall and graduate with my bsw in may 2023!!!

right now i am learning about group counseling and family counseling. its pretty interesting. bet yall didnt know therapists have to practice empathy and active listening skills in school!

Gonna go take my meds now will you excuse me. I'm super anxious today.

My other cat just almost died from an asthma attack. She definitely couldn’t breathe at all for a few seconds there. Generally I can calm her down enough so she can relax and breathe but not this time. Thank god she came out of it, the pet ER is ten minutes away, she wouldn’t make it if she can’t breathe.

She does not have a rescue inhaler but she does have a course of steroids I can give her if she starts getting bad, so I just gave her a dose and will continue the course.

I can’t believe this ****, if it’s not one cat it’s another! How did I end up with two chronically ill cats! I mean it’s like having a chronically ill child though, I wouldn’t give up on them. I’m just scared to leave her alone now. Or watch her die before my eyes, what a terrifying way to go.

**** that scared me. I had to weigh Cheeto again to see if at least he is getting better. Gained another half a pound if the scale is to be believed. I think that might be making my other cat’s asthma worse, I’m leaving lots of food out for Cheeto so he can gain weight but she’s eating it too and she’s getting FAT.

I’m going to stop vaping inside as much. I won’t go out after dark so I’ll have to just take a puff here and there. That’ll help me eventually quit too at least.

I hope she’s ok for the rest of the day/night.

I am on the verge of panic right now.

I am beyond proud of you.

Just the hard work you have been doing on yourself over the years is absolutely amazing. You decided you wanted to make huge changes in your life and are doing it. School is hard as hell at times but dang you are kicking it’s a&& !

I love ya for truly taking charge of your life in all ways

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Life needs to ease up on you ! Damn Girl

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Dang Girl life needs to back off of you !

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We slightly warmed up a bit today… finally. But still cold. The wind

I’m kind of “ edgy meh” the last few days. I think it’s just my nerves getting the best of me.

I have a busy week with rheumatologist, Dentist and specialist. I’ll be glad once it’s all over.

Hope everyone had a good weekend

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We got 3 inches of powdery snow and the high today was 3F but I didn’t go out today so it’s just pretty from the inside. fighting a stomach bug today, pretty sure it’s all licked now. I’m drinking my sour soda. My to go for upset stomach. Looking forward to tonight’s PBS line up. 4 good shows. Judi Denche is in Crawford, David Tendant in around the world in 80 days, nobody famous in the other 2 but they are good all the same.

It's my second day on vitamin D and i finally have something good to say! I feel more cheerful! I feel better about my divorce; that we both made mistakes. I feel better about being single; i enjoy the freedom, independence and privacy. I feel better about my hair which is about a centimeter long since i stopped shaving; it's okay to wear a bare head in public again but there is no need in the cold Winter so no matter. By the time the hot weather arrives it will be pretty again.

I got my dog outside today but it was hardly worth it as we are still under an extreme cold and frostbite warning and i could feel it on my face. We just spent a few minutes outside. Well, at least she got to run around a little.

I didn't sleep til 2:30am tho so i am a bit worried that the vitamin D may impact my sleep in which case i'll have to re-evaluate it. I'm taking it in the morning but still feeling dopey til mid-afternoon, but at least i am more comfortable today than in months! Oh, the relief! Really feeling more "myself" today! It is welcome indeed!

I've heard about Wordle @Soupe du jour and took a poke at it but couldn't get anywhere and i don't feel ambitious enough for anything new. A woman from my Scrabble club was interviewed on radio about it, so others from my club are excited about it tho.

Look what dastardly word i got in Scrabble today:

Being out of ip is a huge deal for me. Psychosis typically makes me end up up at my t’sdecision. I’ve been on this forum 15 years and love yo talk and lend an ear to people.

Sorry you have stomach issues hope it’s over with. But…. What’s sour soda ?

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I've been on here just short of 6 years (7 years?) and I have seen you come so far. You deserve to be very proud of yourself. There was a time you were struggling to stay out of the hospital in time measured in months and look at you now; not only have you gotten well enough to be home for 2 years you're nearly the end of your BS degree in a helping profession. All the while holding down a job. You're amazing. I certainly couldn't do what you have in the last few years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 My other cat just almost died from an asthma attack. She definitely couldn’t breathe at all for a few seconds there. Generally I can calm her down enough so she can relax and breathe but not this time. Thank god she came out of it, the pet ER is ten minutes away, she wouldn’t make it if she can’t breathe. She does not have a rescue inhaler but she does have a course of steroids I can give her if she starts getting bad, so I just gave her a dose and will continue the course. I can’t believe this ****, if it’s not one cat it’s another! How did I end up with two chronically ill cats! I mean it’s like having a chronically ill child though, I wouldn’t give up on them. I’m just scared to leave her alone now. Or watch her die before my eyes, what a terrifying way to go. **** that scared me. I had to weigh Cheeto again to see if at least he is getting better. Gained another half a pound if the scale is to be believed. I think that might be making my other cat’s asthma worse, I’m leaving lots of food out for Cheeto so he can gain weight but she’s eating it too and she’s getting FAT. I’m going to stop vaping inside as much. I won’t go out after dark so I’ll have to just take a puff here and there. That’ll help me eventually quit too at least. I hope she’s ok for the rest of the day/night.

Oh, good God. You poor thing. How terrifying. I'm so glad she's okay now. And *cheers* to Cheeto gaining weight!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I am on the verge of panic right now.

Don't tell me I wouldn't care, Md. I would. Very much.


What day is your birthday? My husband's is the 28th and my sister's the 30th.

Halliebeth - you truly ARE amazing!

Nammu, thanks for reminding me about PBS. And yes- what's sour soda?

Night is almost here, so good. It was a "blah" Sunday afternoon. The weather is, in a word, obnoxious. Too chilly to really enjoy, too warm to bundle up. Uncomfortable. Nevertheless, I am grateful that this week-end has been - thus far - peaceful. And restful.

I've watched all 30 episodes of Versailles three times, so finally decided to give The Tudors a try. I'm almost to the end of the first episode...it hasn't really hooked me in yet. No charisma or beauty to it, so far. But, I will learn a lot about history by watching it.

My anxiety level has been a bit high over the past several days. I am unhappy about that, because I was doing so well. I'm hoping the pdoc will increase the Zoloft and the Gabapentin. I don't have my appt. with her until 2/8, though. I am, however, going to try to get in earlier.

Love and peace all around~

Hope your meds can be increased !

Maybe your weather would pick a side

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It warmed up to 56 with a low in the higher 20's.
I hope every one is warm and cozy.
bizi

It’s 30 here. It supposed to be 45 tomorrow. It usually snows on my birthday. We shall see

@HALLIEBETH87, I've been around for over 10 years & know how hard you've struggled in the past. You're right to be proud of your accomplishments ...especially returning to school. I wish you nothing but the best.

I think I might be the only sports fan around here, but this weekend's football playoff games were among the best I've seen in my 60 years!

Oh my! my college basketball team lost! We got whipped yesterday but I’ll always bleed blue! Go wildcats!

Oh hey, sour soda is lemon or grapefruit soda. It hard to find now, I usually have to go to a liquor shop to get it now. But it’s great for an upset stomach.

The shows were fantastic tonight.

Many purple healing vibes all around to everyone.

Maybe other people don't have an outlet besides this forum to talk to people.