Bipolar check-in #61

Sorry your struggling so hard. Hope you start feeling better ASAP !!

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Thanks, Miguel'smom!

I have quite curly hair and often let my hair go unwashed and/or improperly cared for for a while. Mine can get major tangles in it, some of which can get ripped up if I try to break them up, while dry. That's usually a sign that forces me to wash it. My suggestion is to wet it, then put a good amount of conditioner in. Keep the conditioner in a while. Then attempt to comb through using a large hair pick. Then wash with shampoo, then condition a second time, then rinse. And then again, a hair pick followed by a brush. Yes, I've been there.

I just had the neatest dream. I was working in a school and so were all of you. We all had janitors and we all knew each other really well and were friends. I was a janitor. I don't think any of us were actual teachers in fact.

It was just so pleasant.

That happens to me a lot. I go into a session wanting to quit and not wanting to do it and then I find myself spilling my guts out and saying all this stuff I had no idea I was feeling or thinking and then I leave feeling much better.

I'm glad it helped you and you feel better.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Hey speaking of the lighting !!! Richard has 2 lamps in his office. I seriously can’t handle all that blaring ugly lights they give me hellish headaches. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Neither can I - and bright light gives me headaches, too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I just had the neatest dream. I was working in a school and so were all of you. We all had janitors and we all knew each other really well and were friends. I was a janitor. I don't think any of us were actual teachers in fact. It was just so pleasant.

That is a wonderful dream! Thanks for sharing it.

I switched my weekly injections to every 1.5 weeks. So I kinda didn't know that would mean it would be on a diffrent day of the week. I thought I wasn't supposed to get it until Wednesday. But I'm scheduled to get mine today. I didn't feel particuarly moody or anxious yesterday I don't think. Besides the doctors situation. But I often have issues at any gynecolgists office for whatever reason I am there for. I was moody last night though and I had a minor crying spell. But I just wasn't feeling good physically which I didnt attribute to needing my shot soon. I woke up this morning and around 4 I had some strange anxiety. It was enough where I needed a valium at 5AM. Normally I can wait until 8:30 when I take my first valium. Then when I found out I was due for the shot today the anxiety this morning and mood issue last night made sense. I'm trying to put off the shot until tonight though. Although I'm not sure if that will work out.

I am still not feeling great but I feel like my UTI or whatever is starting to clear up. I ate 2 Pop Tarts for dinner last night about 1.5 hours apart and then I fell asleep very fast without my music. I woke up at 11 freezing so I had to get my 2 blankets from the laundry room I've been meaning to wash. I woke up at 2:30 and all I've eaten today is 2 more Pop Tarts. I guess Pop Tarts are my new thing. I'm trying to eat some canned chicken now.

I was having a whole bunch of really strange Tom And Jerry dreams last night that I actually took my temperture when I woke up to make sure I wasn't having fever dreams.

Often times I feel like a valium and a pizza will make me feel better. Well the second valium I took half an hour ago just made my anxiety just semi better and the piece of pizza I had yesterday did nothing.

I am super lightheaded. I almost lost my balance coming back from folding laundry. I have a headache and I had the chills real bad but now I'm hot. I'm also just super exhausted and lethargic. I took my temp and its 95.2. I asked my mom earlier if she could take me for a covid test but she said she didnt have time. Now shes at the doctors with my brother who will probably get a diabetes diagnosis and even then I'm not sure if she'll do anything about his weight.

But based on my own symptoms I'm not sure if I am in danger or not. My mom was watching Bones yesterday and one of the characters passed out from taking so much asprin because it thinned his blood. I've been taking a lot for the migraines I've been getting.

Edit: I just texted my mom and she still wont take me for a covid test. Despite the fact we are having people over tommrow. Which I find to be not really the right thing to do. She told me she'll try to set my doctors appointment up sooner then a week from Monday and she doubts what happened in Bones is happening to me. She offered to get me something from the gas station. Which I think is a real good idea to go to the gas station for candy after you just got a bad health report from the doctors. I have never understood some of the health decisons she has made for me or my siblings before.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed That happens to me a lot. I go into a session wanting to quit and not wanting to do it and then I find myself spilling my guts out and saying all this stuff I had no idea I was feeling or thinking and then I leave feeling much better. I'm glad it helped you and you feel better.

I know...I was thinking of you while walking to my car after my session.

This depression is unbelievable. And how quickly it came on after stopping vraylar! I wonder if it’s partly withdrawal. I mean I was on the lowest dose and it supposedly takes a long time to leave your system. But my stomach problems went away in a day so maybe.

I’m feeling so heavy. Like I can barely move. They let us go an hour early from work today bc we didn’t have the PD we were supposed to have. I’ve been glued to the couch since I got home. I have to leave in ten minutes to get my son and go to my booster appt. And we’re going to the diner with Rob’s parents after. I don’t want to eat. I feel like I could manage fruit or yogurt but this diner’s fruit cups are nasty (not fresh in any sense of the word). And they obviously won’t have dairy-free yogurt. I just want to go to bed.

My therapist is on vacation next week and my pdoc doesn’t come in until Tuesday. And when I called last week they didn’t have an appt until Thursday, which is probably gone by now. They’re closed today but they are supposedly open tomorrow from 9-3 so I might leave a message for her with the front desk. Thank sent it along last time.

I’m supposed to still be taking the vraylar twice a week so maybe when I take it tomorrow I’ll feel a little better by Sunday. But I might also feel physically ill. I guess we’ll find out.

It’s really at a crisis point already, I can’t believe it. I’m seeing images, I’m getting paranoid, the anxiety is out of control. I just want to cry.

Chemicals and a bike tire! Hahahaha!

I was roused from bed by my phone ringing this morning. It was my case manager. We had a check in appointment to work on my psychiatric goals for this year- what I or others can do to help my mental health. I did make it there on time this morning. The appointment showed up in my inbox from my calendar that's attached to my email. I also talked with C. He's doing fine- sounded chipper and lively and we talked for 45 minutes longer than we typically have been lately- and it was a good conversation without many silent pauses.
ME got his debit and also his credit card today. He just applied yesterday. So we we had a conversation about credit. Mine was pretty bad 14 months ago when I got my credit card. I hope my score has gone up because I've paid on time in full the whole time. Hungry now! It's such a chore to want to eat all the time- likely caused by metabolic syndrome. My primary wants to talk to me about it around May- I don't think I have that appointment set yet.

•ME=N3. (Filler here because it's too short without apparently.)

My UTI test came back negative. Not sure what the issue is though and why the antibioitcs are helping? The culture hasn't come back though and he says he may switch my antibiotic if its normal.

I am supposed to wear glasses and I did for many years. Then they became frustrating with the masks. Then the more I started passing I felt like I didnt pass as good with my glasses. So I havent worn them since about September 2020. My mom says contacts are expensive and she thinks I'll freak out with them anyways. But she thinks not wearing my glasses is a big part of my problems. But I don't know why it started so suddenly so fast if it was just the glasses.

But I set up an appointment with my primary for Monday. I plan on asking him to do a full allergy food test and hopefully he does all the blood work. My therapist said I should ask him for an allergy test.

Its just frustrating not knowing whats wrong. My mom says it does sound like I'm anemic and I am showing mild signs of omacron. But I don't know.

Now I'm in a heated text debate with my mom about whats wrong with me. Now I have some nasal stuff.sneezing. sniffling. And the start of a sore throat. And some muscle aches in my back. Severe chills and hot flashes. Shes still BSing around the fact that I could very well have gotten covid from the dentist. I am not concerned for myself but family is coming over for dinner tommrow night and I don't want to get everyone sick and they'd be pissed if I just quarantined. But my mom just does this stuff. When theres a family event going on she does whatever it takes to make it to happen even if it shouldnt be going on.

I’m betting it is withdrawals your dealing with

Do you have a prn? If so I think it would be wise to take it.

Just breathe

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I am so cranky today. Just woke this way

Plans for the weekend?

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Sorry Christina, I hate it when I wake up that way. This morning I felt relieved to wake up being 63 because in my dreams I was very, very pregnant and due any moment but living in a condemned apt with a ratty old mattress on a dirt floor. Where did that come from?

No plans. It just snowed lots so no going out until the roads get better.

I have covid. canceled a weeks worth of clients.
sigh cough is brutal.
bizi

Oh I’m so sorry bizi, get well soon.

Just Xanax. I am taking it when I can’t stand the anymore. I hate taking it every day but it is what it is right now, right?

I think it’s withdrawal too, like maybe things will even out soon. I have a pdoc appt in three weeks. I may need her to refill the Xanax sooner though. I got my last refill way back in July and I just haven’t needed it much. I still have a decent amount, probably enough for three weeks even if I do take it twice a day like it says to do.

I’ve been just saying to myself that yeah, I feel ******, but I’m in control of my actions still and it’s ok to not be ok sometimes.

I mean, I made it through that vaccine appointment ok. Once I force myself up and out I’m not ok, but I’m a bit better. Just gotta hold on to that.

Thanks for the encouragement

@bizi:

Oh, i am so sorry to hear you have COVID, Bizi. Hopefully it will just be a mild case. Do you have your vaccines and booster?

@wildflowerchild25:

Congrats on getting your booster! With all your other troubles that's quite an accomplishment! Bravo! The more of us that do our part, the better off we are!

Do you have covid?
sorry I have not been around.
bizi

yes mam I follow orders. The cough is a killer when it wants to be.
Can't breath etc.
bizi

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 I was roused from bed by my phone ringing this morning. It was my case manager. We had a check in appointment to work on my psychiatric goals for this year- what I or others can do to help my mental health. I did make it there on time this morning. The appointment showed up in my inbox from my calendar that's attached to my email. I also talked with C. He's doing fine- sounded chipper and lively and we talked for 45 minutes longer than we typically have been lately- and it was a good conversation without many silent pauses. ME got his debit and also his credit card today. He just applied yesterday. So we we had a conversation about credit. Mine was pretty bad 14 months ago when I got my credit card. I hope my score has gone up because I've paid on time in full the whole time. Hungry now! It's such a chore to want to eat all the time- likely caused by metabolic syndrome. My primary wants to talk to me about it around May- I don't think I have that appointment set yet.

Hi Moose How do you know you have metabolic syndrome? Is there a test for it?