Bipolar check-in #61

The PMDD was undiagnosed. Only my mom believed it was going on. But every time I went to the hospital I either was on or about to get my period a couple days later but I didn't even learn about PMDD until 2013.

Once I got on seasonale birth control the 4 period a year birth control after 2 years of fighting to get on it it became obvious although people still didn't believe it.

@~Christina, sending more prayers that Cindy shows more signs of recovery and that you, Steve, and other family members have strength during this scary time.

My husband and I finally planned a ski trip as our Christmas present to each other. We leave this coming Monday for the Austrian Alps, at a ski resort that's about an hour and a half drive south of Linz (Linzer tart cookie fame) and the same distance east of Salzburg (Mozart birthplace). I don't ski, but will love the scenery. Hubby will finally use the new skis, ski boots, and other things I bought him over a year ago for Christmas and his birthday 2020. We'll return next weekend. The week after is a busy one with multiple appointments.

My laptop has concerning problems. Virus? Something else? Hubby is working on it now, a task we didn't count on as we need to prepare for the trip. My first online Czech class is next week. I knew I might have one during the trip, but thought it wouldn't be until maybe the third week vs. first. We'll take his laptop to be safe.

Because it’s not all about weight. There’s even such a thing as “benign obesity”.

This happened to me too mountain. For a while I always started on was on my period is my early years of ip stays. Now that I’m on bc pills I take for three months at a time I’m ok hormonally. Now I just have the sza to deal with.

It still seems a bit unfair that at not even 29 my health is crap but his isn't. If you actually knew and saw him you'd know what I mean. Even my mom doesnt get it.

And all the google pages I am seeing says that benign obesity is nothing but a myth.

I kinda just blew up at my mom. I think its her fault to be honest. I kept getting very confused with my valium and I was asking her for help and she kept saying I had like 17 extra days when I didn't. So now I'm short and still on 2 a day instead of 3. Which does not work, and I feel a bit woozy and nauseated right now and I'm not sure if its just from the lack of food and sleep I've had today or if its the ativan I took around 3AM and the 2 valium after. But I'm trying to get my zofran refilled since that often helps with my physical side effects of anxiety mainly my nausea and my mom is saying I already got that filled when I didn't and we just like got into this arguement over it. But the pharamcy is contacting the doctor now so hopefully it gets fixed today because my nausea sucks and I'm starting to run out of options on how to deal with all this and If I don't get this figured out soon I'll have to talk to my pdoc on Monday and tell him whats up and I'll have to be really honest with him about whats going on.

I'm wondering if soda is bad for your kidneys because I've had a lot of it for as long as I can go back. For 11 years its been almost daily. But since I switched to zero sugar last year its been about 4 cans a day. But I've always been a huge soda drinker I remember my dad putting Coke in my baby bottle when I was 2 or so.

I'm eating Goldfish crackers right now. They are a comfort food for me but my therapist says me eating them is just creepy behavior. I'm eating the whole grain ones which don't leave a mess on your fingers and have a more subtle cheddar taste then the regular cheddar ones.

I'm at the point where I am a bit concerned about going IP because my anxiety is so bad since I don't have that 3rd valium and the ativan made me feel weird. So I'm just allowing myself a cheat day. But not of just junk food. I just had some peanut butter now. Maybe I'll make some soup in a bit.

Well the storm did NOT fizzle out lol. We have about 7 inches and will probably end up with 8 total as it’s still snowing steadily. RS has been out plowing since midnight. He probably won’t be able to be home until about 4. I’m planning on cleaning the whole house so he can come home to a nice sparkling home. It’s the least I can do.

I took the 300mg seroquel XR at 7:30 and 25mg IR at 8:30. It knocked me tf out. I think I’m going to cut out the IR for now. I wasn’t able to wake up until 9:30am.

I decided not to record calories/carbs this weekend and focus just on not bingeing. I ate soooo much yesterday morning (we had a party for my coworker). I felt physically horrible for hours. It’s very important for me to eat small meals now that my stomach is all aggravated again.

I’m thinking of calling the gastroenterologist again and setting up an appt. They book out about 3 months in advance anyway. Even though the pain has been intermittent for years since it does keep coming back there’s something wrong, clearly. It’s just not obvious what it is since they always assume my gallbladder and it’s not that.

Aw man, I ate too many hot peppers last night (had pizza loaded with jalapenos and added Hammah Gatah sauce to it) and it's really messing with me physically. I read somewhere that addicts are more likely to overdo the spicy stuff because it releases endorphins and ultimately the pain feels good. Idk how true that is but it definitely is in my case. I'm going to wreck my digestive tract but it's OK I have so much hot sauce in the house (and like REALLY HOT hot sauce not the stuff for pussies you get at Market Basket).

I barely slept too for the second night in a row. I want to say if I'm still up at midnight tonight I'll take some PRNs to knock me out but I think we all know I'm enjoying life too much for sleep right now. Making up for lost time, ya smell me? Music just flows through me; I started playing piano and guitar again. Tomorrow the slopes will be PACKED but as long as I have a ride I'm going Monday.

Hi all,
Feeling tired but OK today. Actually, I feel a bit under the weather. It’s nothing major, but I think it’s mainly just the shift in temperature and barometric pressure that’s got my head a little achy and my sinuses bothering me. At least I hope that’s all it is. I gave my sister a ride home the other day and she found out she has COVID now. (She’s had her shots and booster, as have I) – I just hope I’m not coming down with it too. If I am, statistics are on my side it will be mild. We’ll see how things progress but I don’t think I need to stress out about it. I plan on staying home and quarantining (because that’s my typical day lol) so it’ll work out fine.
It snowed all night and it looks so pretty outside. I’m just glad I don’t have anywhere to be. I hate driving in snowy/icy conditions. It’s so nice to look at though.
In other news, I had my therapy appointment yesterday. It went well. Things are getting a little more intense, and are gonna require a lot more effort on my part but it’s time to start working towards my goal in a more proactive way. I don’t feel ready but I have tools to help get me there. Let’s hope I can make it work.
Honestly not a whole lot more to add. Just another day, another weekend to do nothing. I’m doing OK so I can’t complain. That’s all for now I suppose.

Christina, thinking of Cindy and Steve. May Cindy be awake when he gets there. Purple healing vibe rays around.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 Well the storm did NOT fizzle out lol. We have about 7 inches and will probably end up with 8 total as it’s still snowing steadily. RS has been out plowing since midnight. He probably won’t be able to be home until about 4. I’m planning on cleaning the whole house so he can come home to a nice sparkling home. It’s the least I can do. I took the 300mg seroquel XR at 7:30 and 25mg IR at 8:30. It knocked me tf out. I think I’m going to cut out the IR for now. I wasn’t able to wake up until 9:30am. I decided not to record calories/carbs this weekend and focus just on not bingeing. I ate soooo much yesterday morning (we had a party for my coworker). I felt physically horrible for hours. It’s very important for me to eat small meals now that my stomach is all aggravated again. I’m thinking of calling the gastroenterologist again and setting up an appt. They book out about 3 months in advance anyway. Even though the pain has been intermittent for years since it does keep coming back there’s something wrong, clearly. It’s just not obvious what it is since they always assume my gallbladder and it’s not that.

I was going to ask how you're doing in the storm. It sounds really wild and looks so, too, from what I'm seeing on TV. My daughter lives in Long Island. Having grown up here I don't know how she knows how to handle such weather (she's lived there for just 5 months), but my husband spoke with her yesterday and she says she's doing okay.

I heard that a big problem could be power outages, causing heating to be lost. I sure hope that doesn't happen. Keep us posted, wfc!

Also- how's Cheeto?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapien So if you watch the various news stations we could get just a coating or maybe a foot and a half of snow... but heavy winds are probably going to be the real problem. I saw them cutting trees on my walk today so we're definitely expecting power outages. Unfortunately I saw them cutting on the West side of the road, and I live on the East which is a different power grid and has a more woodsier, more winding/hilly road. They were not cutting trees on that side that I saw so if this storm is as bad as some say I'm going to be out of power for a bit.

Ugh. I hope you keep your power/heat. *fingers crossed*

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddha1too ...

Spring is around the corner! Pitchers and catchers report in about 3 weeks!!

I slept well enough last night, but still having a hard time keeping my eyes open. At this point I'm planning to ask my pdoc for something to help with sleep. Melatonin and diphenhydramine just aren't doing much. Knowing my pdoc, though, she's likely to refrain from prescribing a sleep med. *sigh*

My eldest sister will be 77 tomorrow, so I'm going to give her a call this afternoon. Yesterday David and I received a big box of gifts from her...coloring books, colored pencils, pens that light up, hand towels, cards, and she gave me a belated birthday gift...a lovely sterling silver bracelet with an engraving inside about sisters. I treasure it. I set it in my bedroom so I can see it, rather than locking it away.

It's hard, because we lost our "middle" sister 4 years ago. It's painful for me; I miss her sooo much. But I feel especially sad for my oldest sister, to have lost her younger sister.

I'm going to take a shower and do laundry. Walking up and down the stairs to the laundry room will either help me wake up or tire me out

Unless your dr tells you to you really shouldn’t mix meds like Valium and Ativan. You should probably just tell your pdoc what you’re doing as he will probably figure it out anyway

Hi Mountaindewed. Some research results indicate that too much soda can possibly affect the kidneys. See How Soda Affects Your Kidneys | Prevention Another is at Sugary Soda Habit May Harm Kidneys, Study Suggests – WebMD

My oldest sister is in her seventies too, both my older sister s are. It always shocks me when I realize that but then it shocks me that I’m in my 60’s! I guess I think of us as always teens.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu My oldest sister is in her seventies too, both my older sister s are. It always shocks me when I realize that but then it shocks me that I’m in my 60’s! I guess I think of us as always teens.

I'll be 60 in December...I don't know how THAT happened! My eldest sis is 18 years older than I am (same parents). So she's been a kind-of "guide" for me all of my life.


So you're a baby sister, too!

Heh heh, yeah I’m the spoiled one that got the pony! My parents were older and much more financially stable when they had me. Plus more flexibility on rules. My oldest sister is 13 years older. I always though of her as a leader. What I remember most about her was her White Shoulders perfume, flip hairdo and the boys who picked her up for dates. She worked at the local five and dime, Ben Franklin s and had enough to buy a 65’ baby blue mustang when she graduated.

I never got over my anxiety today. Nothing worked. I had 2 valium and 2 ativan and my normal meds and no luck. I did eat an entire bag of Goldfish crackers but everything else was in moderation. I just feel like I am retaining water and its frustrating and physically uncomfortable. My sister and her family are going to a wedding with about 10 other people next Saturday and then they want to come over on Sunday to celebrate my mom and mine birthdays which are on Friday and Saturday. They asked me if I was ok with it since they know I have stuff going on but its also my moms birthday too and I felt a bit put on the spot so I said yeah they could come.

But pretty much today was just filled with bad anxiety. But not like full blown panic anxiety. It was more like just annoying anxiety that was ok as long as I had the TV on but got bad again once I turned it off and meds didn't help it. I did find my TV remote so I can watch TV and not just DVD's. I just started season 6 of Project Runway and I plan on watching the movies Superstar and Drop Dead Gorgeous tommorow.

Ativan is over 3 years old. Doesn't do much one way or the other when its that old.

I'll call my pdoc when I know for sure I can't handle things on my own. But on a Saturday night I don't really have a choice but to deal with things on my own.

Anxiety I think is at a code 12 right now. I may just take a 3rd valium and make the pharamcy fill it a day early. Normally they fill it 2-3 days early anyways. So right there is 6 extra.

I took the ativan and I feel like a diffrent person. I feel normal for the first time all day.

I have had falling down a flight of stairs type night terrors and severe fatigue that really affected me at work and the only med my sleep specilaist would offer was melatonin.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Heh heh, yeah I’m the spoiled one that got the pony! My parents were older and much more financially stable when they had me. Plus more flexibility on rules. My oldest sister is 13 years older. I always though of her as a leader. What I remember most about her was her White Shoulders perfume, flip hairdo and the boys who picked her up for dates. She worked at the local five and dime, Ben Franklin s and had enough to buy a 65’ baby blue mustang when she graduated.

My father was 42 when I was born, my mom 37.


Wonderful memories of your sister. My oldest had the flip hairdo, too. The middle sister bought a brand new candy-apple red Mustang convertible in '65. When she took me for rides in that car it was like being in heaven to me. Joyful times, way back then.

I grew up with much older siblings myself -- eldest brother 13 years older than I am. I have an obsession with the past and both nostalgic ways and wishing I could live in different eras. I loved taking my mom to her 45th year high school reunion 3-4 years back. The 70s seemed like an amazing time to be a young person. I'd love to have experienced that.