[Miss Laura]

Hi,

I'm struggling when things like meet ups are ending or an appt with someone I like is ending I start getting panicky and start making more small talk just to keep them there.

I've been feeling like this for years on and off but all of a sudden out of nowhere its came back with a vengeance.

I hate doing this to people as well they have their own lives to lead. But I get upset after I have left them to the point I'm crying coming home on a bus or walking to my flat.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Or knows what's going on with me?

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[Pinny]

Have you thought about what upsets you when you leave them? Being alone with your thoughts? Missing them? (you dont have to answer, just trying to allow you to think!)
I hope you feel better soon!

[MuddyBoots]

omg yes. yes. yes.

In the morning when my mom leaves for work I hug her hard and long and pray to God she comes home. I spent the day with a more-than-friend and I just didn't want him to leave so again many hugs and kisses and "Can't wait until next wednesday" (When we plan on seeing each other again)s. When he left I started freaking out but then he started texting me and I felt better.

I think in my case at least it stems from fear of abandonment. At least that's what I've been told by a pretty good psychologist.

[Miss Laura]

Originally Posted by Pinny

Have you thought about what upsets you when you leave them? Being alone with your thoughts? Missing them? (you dont have to answer, just trying to allow you to think!)

I hope you feel better soon!

Yeah I guess.... being alone, being alone with my thoughts, worried something is going to happen to them. I make sure they text when they are home or away to work etc. I live alone so it's hard when people leave as it feels like they don't want to be around me anymore. It feels like a personal attack. Even though deep down I know its not. They just have something to do ie family or work.

I've never had it this bad before so this is definitely new territory for me.

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[Miss Laura]

Originally Posted by Sapien

omg yes. yes. yes.


In the morning when my mom leaves for work I hug her hard and long and pray to God she comes home. I spent the day with a more-than-friend and I just didn't want him to leave so again many hugs and kisses and "Can't wait until next wednesday" (When we plan on seeing each other again)s. When he left I started freaking out but then he started texting me and I felt better.


I think in my case at least it stems from fear of abandonment. At least that's what I've been told by a pretty good psychologist.

I told my friend the other night and she said the Psychologist she use to see would say that was abandonment issues too.

I don't know how to overcome it though. Might need to Google abandonment issues huh

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[BeyondtheRainbow]

Could this be feelings from losing your mom? If I remember correctly you lost her pretty quickly and that might make part of your grief being afraid that other people will leave you too. I've felt this way sometimes since losing my bio father and then my family member closest to being a father. They died about 18 months apart and I had all kinds of thoughts about them and our live experiencses. This was true even though even though I saw my father once about6 weeks before he died and not for 20 years before that. I was shocked i had to grieve for him but I did. So it makes total sense foryou to grieve for your mom who you loved.

[Pinny]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I told my friend the other night and she said the Psychologist she use to see would say that was abandonment issues too.

I don't know how to overcome it though. Might need to Google abandonment issues huh

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Yeah it sounds like you might be right there. Try reading up about it, maybe there are some good books that might be helpful.
Maybe there might also be some work you could do on challenging those thoughts. Do you have a therapist?

[Miss Laura]

I do have a therapist, I think I'll bring it up with her next week.

Yeah I'll read up on it thanks

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[Miss Laura]

I guess it could be cause I lost my Mum. But I have felt like this for years so that wouldn't explain previous experiences. But I see where you are coming from.

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[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I do have a therapist, I think I'll bring it up with her next week.

Yeah I'll read up on it thanks

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[bizi]

Fear of abandonment, grief......
How is your self esteem?
I am glad that you see a therapist that may be able to help you.

I am sorry that you cry about leaving the situation.

It sounds gut wrenching.
I feel for you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Miss Laura]

Self Esteem is very low on a good day if I'm bring honest. Lots of self negative talk

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[bizi]

This could be a start of a conversation with your therapist.
(((((hugs)))))
bizi

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bizi

Fear of abandonment, grief......
How is your self esteem?
I am glad that you see a therapist that may be able to help you.

I am sorry that you cry about leaving the situation.

It sounds gut wrenching.
I feel for you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I told my friend the other night and she said the Psychologist she use to see would say that was abandonment issues too.

Another possibility is a desire to prolong a social interaction especially if they happen rarely in one's life. For example some people with mental illness are socially isolated, unemployed and lacking community involvement and just want to interact with others, including clinicians.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bizi

This could be a start of a conversation with your therapist.
(((((hugs)))))
bizi

Good post bizi (((((((((( hugs )))))))))