[Pinny]

Hello there,

I was just wondering how people get on with talking about their mental health. Do all of your friends and family know about your diagnoses? Or only a few select people?
Why/why not?

I hope you dont mind me asking.

Thanks!

[Soupe du jour]

Hi @Pinny. I don't mind. It's a good question. And welcome!

I think people should discuss their MI with mostly those they can trust or that would understand. I realize people need/want a lot of support and/or want to fight stigma and educate, but the truth is one must still be careful. I'd hope most close family members and friends would be trusted. This varies. My siblings and father know about my bipolar illness, as does my husband and his closest family members. I've told a couple close friends in the past, too.

My old boss knew, but only out of necessity. A lot of people at my old job knew. Not because I told them. Sadly, they saw and heard it clearly. I wish they hadn't, but it was beyond my control. There can be a great pain having certain people see such vulnerability. And stigma IS rampant. Many look at mental illness much differently than say...cancer or heart disease or an appendectomy. No fruit baskets or well-wishes were sent from workmates (or anyone other than Hubby) during my 10 hospitalizations. Almost no one there said a thing to me after my return attempts. I'm sure this varies, though. One can feel like a pariah, especially if with severe MI. It's painful and makes recovery harder. Even my father, after being told of my hospitalizations, would always tell my husband "Tell her to call me when she gets out and feels better." Paradoxically, he has a mood disorder, too, as did his mother.

I started a blog four years ago where I shared lots of details. Many heard about my blog, but from others and from a brief time I linked it to social media. [HUGE mistake!] Some time after, that lack of privacy got to me. I've since transferred all MI related posts to an anonymous new blog. My original one is now primarily travel and culinary related.

[Fuzzybear]

I've found with some people they are so dismissive and frankly rude, that I wish I hadn't said anything. I have hardly said anything to them about my very severe symptoms (or any other symptoms or issues) either. Then they complain or insinuate I'm not ''sociable''... wtf.

Some people are very understanding and supportive.

Good question Pinny, welcome and thanks for posting

[MuddyBoots]

Hi and welcome to the forums!

Right now there are very few people in my life I'm close to and they all know about my diagnosis and have seen the bp in action. I've had a very similar experience to Soupe du Jour. I've had a lot of unexplained absences and eventually the truth just has to come out. I get a lot of support from a few people, but most just don't know enough about mental health/the illness itself to really understand it's not something I choose.

[Brentus]

Hi Pinny,

For me, I rarely talk about it with anyone in real life. The stigma associated is enough for me to fear saying anything, although that is changing to be sure. Mental health is something everything has to look out for -- just like physical health, and like physical issues, some have a harder time controlling or maintaining a healthy state. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but sadly I am. I do believe telling anyone you trust and feel it would better your relationship (perhaps they can relate to you, or just be a listener ear -- or perhaps you could help them!) is worth the risk to share. Support is one of the biggest helps with mental health, having someone to confide in.


I don't have that in real life, but I do feel I get a lot of support here on the forums. I hope you find what you are looking for here, and I hope you have the social supports you need as well! What are your thoughts on sharing your mental health issues with others?

[Pinny]

Thanks so much for your open and honest answers, I really appreciate them.

I really struggle to open up and talk to people but I have a few people close to me who know. My family are not great and they dont even know the whole truth.

My work are... some people are ok, most people judge because Ive had a number of absences.

I totally relate to what you said @WindsThatBlow as I too, feel ashamed. Which Im, almost as much, ashamed to admit that. I know I shouldnt, but I cant seem to help it.

I wish mental illness was looked upon the same as physical illness as it should be.

[*Beth*]

Yes, the shame issue is usually a very, very difficult one to overcome.

I don't tell anyone about my mental illness except support people and somewhat, my husband. But he is not too supportive of my need to take medication, so even with him I don't much discuss mental illness.

[Aviza]

Everyone but my job knows about my diagnosis. At least I haven't told my job. Got burned in my last job but being so open so I'm on the down low.

[Nammu]

When I’m stable it doesn’t come up. I’m a pretty laid back straightforward kind of person. So when I have an episode it really shocks people and it’s not hidden, there’s no hiding it. Most friendships, relationships and work don’t recover from it and I move on. My family however has stood by me and I spared them most of the worse of it by having lived far away. Although they have had periods where they called hospitals, jails and cops looking for me. I’m in a stable place now and haven’t the energy to look for friends, of course covid makes it easy to isolate. I don’t make a big thing out of it, just go on living my life. I don’t feel any need to tell people I’m bipolar

[~Christina]

When first diagnosed I seemed to want to tell everyone in my life. I found out in the hardest way that less is so much better than more.

My life just imploded at time of diagnosis and I burned out numerous people mostly co workers at the time.

I started seeing a Therapist and Pdoc. I found this forum and it was a lifesaver.. I found out I wasn’t alone. People here cared about me because they really “ get it” I have learned a unmeasurable amount of knowledge about my particular Bipolar soup.

As for my marriage I know my husband is here for me but I make Bipolar as small as possible in our marriage If I’m struggling I’ll give him a heads up. But I have a Therapist and unbelievably supportive friends that have my back.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[HALLIEBETH87]

Everyone mostly knows bc I talk about it openly except at my university. I’m a peer support specialist training to be a social worker.

For now I self disclose a lot lol

[*Beth*]

I agree wholeheartedly with Christina...this forum is immensely important to me, both to give and to receive support.

Originally Posted by Pinny

Hello there,

I was just wondering how people get on with talking about their mental health. Do all of your friends and family know about your diagnoses? Or only a few select people?
Why/why not?

I hope you dont mind me asking.

Thanks!

when my family found out, they kicked me out and disowned me- it's not all bad, because they were very abusive previously, and I think it might have been for the best.

I don't really have any friends to tell. those who do find out usually spot something and ask me if I'm bipolar, and when I say yes they disown me- I even had one friend (or supposed friend) tell me that I was controled by the devil himself

I had one friend work out my did, and when he worked it out he asked me if I enjoyed playing guess who.

so.... in short, it's better not to tell people (at least in my experience)