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  #1  
Old Feb 08, 2022, 07:16 PM
Anonymous41462
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What kind of depression is it where you can't tolerate your regular activities?

Everything seems unpleasant. Like i used to follow these four soap operas and enjoy how caring and kind and supportive the people were of each other. How they used to listen to each others feelings so intently and compassionately. The absurd story lines used to amuse me too. But now i can't bear them, they seem so inane and worthless nonsense. The commercials are so irritating too. I never did watch them. I put on mute and closed my eyes but i catch the first few seconds and even that is just intolerable.

And Scrabble, which i've played competitively for twenty years, seems like a tedious stupid game, don't know what i ever saw in it.

Music seems to be all about romantic love and sex and dancing and staying up all night. Like i *want* to hear about that. It's so repellent.

Radio used to keep me company but there's the problem of commercials there too.

I spend a lot of time lying around or sitting quietly, just because i can't tolerate anything. I'm not suicidal so anti-depressants won't help. But then i feel a mild uncomfortable persistent boredom which is just slightly better than suffering how inane and noisy and annoying my activities are.

There's a fancy ten-dollar word "anhedonia" which means inability to experience pleasure.

Is THAT what this is? Has anyone else had this? Did anything help?
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  #2  
Old Feb 08, 2022, 08:12 PM
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Pinny Pinny is offline
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I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I hope it passes quickly. Loss of interest or pleasure in activities is one of the core symptoms of a depressive episode. It’s one of the symptoms generally used in diagnosis.

You don’t have to be suicidal to be having a depressive episode.
Antidepressants may be of benefit, they are definitely not just used for suicidal ideation.

Are you on any antidepressants?
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  #3  
Old Feb 08, 2022, 08:20 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Yes, I've experienced such feelings and I call it...depression. Just plain depression. You don't have to be suicidal to take an antidepressant. It really sounds like you would benefit from an AD, Jane.
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  #4  
Old Feb 08, 2022, 09:25 PM
Anonymous41462
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Thanks for chiming in @Pinny (and welcome!) and @BethRags. I'm not just being stubborn about anti-depressants. I've tried about six of them for mild depression and they don't help. Prozac, Manerix, Parnate, Effexor, Celexa, Wellbutrin. I only find they work for me when i'm ready to go off the deep end. And even then, they throw me into a mania which has all sorts of disadvantages too, mostly financial, with foolish shopping. Argh, all the crap i bought this Spring and Summer and here in Canada we are close to settling our yearly personal accounts at income tax time in March and the full weight of all the foolhardy spending is hitting me like a thunderclap. I didn't even make my minimum savings target this year, only saved about half of what i did last year. And the junk i bought, stuff i don't need and don't want! So i'm very clear that anti-depressants are only to be used sparingly, for me, when the situation warrants it, which it doesn't at the moment, only when being broke is better than being dead.

I *did* email my doctor asking if there's any other help he can give me.

I did a trial of vitamin D but found it ruined my ability to doze the day away without improving my mood and being more awake to feel mildly depressed and mild anxiety is no solution.

The ironic and silly thing is that i am enjoying writing about how i can't enjoy anything! It feels good to express myself and be heard. Thanks for your support!

Last edited by Anonymous41462; Feb 08, 2022 at 09:45 PM.
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  #5  
Old Feb 08, 2022, 09:39 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Good, I'm glad you get some relief from expressing yourself. I think it was wise to email your doctor. Hopefully, he will offer something that is really helpful. Let us know.
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  #6  
Old Feb 08, 2022, 11:01 PM
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bizi bizi is offline
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This depression came on quickly, like out of the blue.
Do you still have a dog?
Has something happened to your family lately?
sorry your are going thru this.
glad that it feels good to be honest and truthful and just vent.
And get feed back.That is what support groups do.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi
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haldol 2x a day
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Remeron at night,
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  #7  
Old Feb 08, 2022, 11:21 PM
Anonymous41462
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@bizi:

Hi!

Yes, i still have my dog. She can be a bit of a trial when i'm depressed, to be honest. I mean, i adore her and everything, just her care can be a challenge and an obstacle on bad days. Tomorrow we have a big day as she is getting her nails trimmed so that will mean a cab there (and taxi drivers can be grouchy about dogs even tho i order a special cab in advance that allows dogs), the procedure itself which is hard on both of us as she so hates it and i can't bear to see her suffer, and the cab back.

I'm usually depressed in the Winter, there was no event that triggered it. It's unusual in nature tho, as i can typically pass it in much less discomfort, amusing myself with my activities. Not this year tho. Really weird this year.

Yeah, writing about it has helped this evening. Thanks for your support!
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  #8  
Old Feb 09, 2022, 02:19 AM
FluffyDinosaur FluffyDinosaur is offline
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Sorry to hear you're going through this. I've been going through it myself for a while now. It sucks sucks sucks because the usual "self-care" stuff like watching movies or listening to music that cheers you up don't work. Basically EVERYTHING is a trigger because everything reminds me of painful things in the world and how I don't belong, all the cruelty and shallow, futile things. It makes it that much harder because it's impossible to escape, nowhere you can go and nothing you can do because the pain is just everywhere. I've been listening to instrumental music because at least there are no lyrics, although sometimes even just the titles are enough to send my brain off in some horrible direction.

I watch people living their lives, seemingly happy, and cannot fathom for the life of me how they can do that and not see all the **** in the world. Makes me feel even more alienated from everyone.

In my case I have been feeling suicidal but I can't because kids, which just makes me feel that more trapped. The only thing I can think of doing is to focus on work and abstract things that have absolutely nothing to do with the "real world," and even then there are reminders everywhere, like innocuous words that my brain immediately interprets in the most painful way. It makes me want to scream at my brain to just leave me alone, like these intrusive thoughts are something beyond my control that just keeps attacking me and I'm so tired of it, but it won't stop. All I can say is I think I understand and I hope it gets better soon.

I haven't given this depression any particular name. Maybe there is but I can't think of any. Would be kind of nice if there was, I'll check back to see if anyone thinks of anything.
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  #9  
Old Feb 09, 2022, 12:26 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Thanks for posting.

(sorry, I edited my post as I decided it was too much information)

I agree with bizi's post.

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