[MuddyBoots]

For those of you that have no problem taking meds every day, what keeps you motivated to keep taking them?

For those of you "non-compliant" why?

It's been only a week of being out of the hospital and I already want to quit my meds. I won't because that pretty much guarantees I'll go back, but this is why I'm supposed to be on injections.

[Aviza]

I don't like being crazy, so I take my meds. I have a reminder on my phone so I don't just go to bed and forget to take them.

[Soupe du jour]

I would worry that so soon after your IP that stopping medications could be dangerous or at least lead to another IP stay. This is based on my own experiences. However, I definitely had my non-compliant periods in the past. Not in recent years, though. Or at least not to any major degree.

As for super small degree, I've recently reduced my pregabalin down to 50 mg per day after my psychiatrist upped it to 100 mg per day. I did so without him knowing, but I will be telling him next week. My husband will be going with me and supporting me on this. However, I am quite stable compared to a person fresh out of IP. Quite. My reason for the reduction was similar to your grievance. Weight gain. But I am not only on pregabalin. I also take therapeutic doses of carbamazepine and quetiapine ER, plus some lamotrigine. I definitely won't be reducing or stopping them. If I did, the chance of me becoming very ill with my bipolar disorder would be very high. Why would I want that after so long stable (or mostly so)?

In the past, I stopped other medications because of side effects, though mostly not weight gain. Other factors that led to non-compliance were chasing mania and a notion that I could "control my moods on my own", which was sadly not the case. Having alcohol sprees was also a factor, at times. Frankly, such alcohol sprees were mostly caused by mood episodes. Kind of a chicken or egg situation.

I recognize the role of the kindling effect in my past illness days. Quitting meds really sparked it. It worsened my manias (often mixed manias) and made them harder to stop. It made me more likely to quickly have another bout of severe episodes. After one mania after another (one hospitalization after another), I finally crashed big time. As a result, I needed ECT to get me out of it. I believe my brain was sort of injured, to a degree, because of all of the episodes (not necessarily the ECT). I needed years for my brain to heal afterwards.

I totally get your frustration, but rather than up and quit all meds, I'd recommend you have a serious talk with your psychiatrist. You have the right to say "No more!" to a particular med. If they push you to reconsider, you have the right to repeat "No!" However, it's better to try something new when quitting than to take nothing at all. You mentioned Invega. Maybe that med?

[HALLIEBETH87]

I used to quit meds all the time. But as I’ve gotten older I know I need them. Without them I’m almost always gonna end Ip and very ill. I do not like having suicide ideation.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

...

Yeah, just because I'm having the urge to quit the zyprexa doesn't mean I'll do it. I'm way too scared of another psychosis/mania to do that. But I have to wait to see a psychiatrist and in the mean time I'm feeling this loathing feeling when I take the zyprexa (3x a day). I am going to switch to Invega so I can get injections because compliance has been a long standing problem for a while. Zyprexa was just supposed to be the heavy hitter to get me out of the psychosis/mania and now that I'm no longer hearing voices/seeing things/delusional/doing stupid stuff I'm itching to stop it. No need to convince me to stay on my meds right now, it's just an urge and between meds, self harm, and substance misuse I've learned I don't have to act on every urge I have.

[Nammu]

Back when I wasn’t med compliant it was a complicated mess of reasons. The truth is I was never on any long enough to achieve stability. I was not taking them in a routine way. And always coming up with half assed “reasons” to switch or change. My mind was not ever stable enough to appreciate the meds, I focused on tiny little flaws and made mountains out of them for my reasons. I had no patience to stick with things that were working.

[Miss Laura]

I'm currently non compliant... been off them 3 months. I'm not gonna say its been plain sailing or I currently don't have symptoms... as I'd be lying. My head tells me they are poisoned and have been tampered with. Deep down I understand I need them but my head rules me more than common sense. I've been off and on my meds at least 7 but feel more times in the last 10 years. I managed a whole year last year of being on them then boom I came off them. I just can't keep going on like this but I see no way forward. I need to be stable so I can get a job but that's not working in my favour tbh I'm lucky I'm not hospitalised or ever been

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[tentoedsloth]

I take them regularly because I want to have a decent life and that seems to be the only way. I went off them 3 times and each time my life went in the garbage within 3 months and it took at least a month to get it back. Also, I can't sleep without them.

It's become a habit.

I don't like having to take medicine, when I think about it, but I think I'm finally convinced that it's for the best.

[*Beth*]

I am almost 100% compliant and always have been. No, I don't want the symptoms (especially anxiety). But my primary reason for compliance is that I feel so messed up physically if I don't take my meds regularly. I'll feel exactly like I have the flu, even if it's been just 8 hours. That concerns me. Plus, stuff happens like heart palpitations. Creepy. I'm either extremely sensitive or I have some type of physical illness (cardiac something, maybe) that has yet to truly manifest, lol. I have never understood how people can skip meds and not suffer horribly with physical symptoms.

[neverending]

It took too many decades to finally find the combination for stability for me not to take my meds.

I have always been compliant but have had too many hospitalizations for me to stop.

I am at a point where I am resenting taking them but I won't stop. I will not risk going backwards and want to stay out of the hospital for as long as I can.

[otroo]

Over the years itbwas pretty hit and miss on when I took my meds UT for the last couple of years my wife would remind me. I quit taking my meds last November and just started taking them last week on a regular basis and the only reason I am compliant on taking them is cause if my wife was still around she would want me to be on them so I do it in memory of her.

[unlived]

I take them coz without them I wouldn’t sleep!

[MuddyBoots]

What would you compliants do if you thought your meds were doing more harm than good? Like they weren't working well and you had akathisia or massive weight gain and you couldn't get a hold of your pdoc/NP for a couple months?

[Mountaindewed]

What helped me was getting a pill box and fillng it every saturday and then keeping the box but giving my mom all the bottles of my meds so she has complete control of them. Then I just fell into the habit of taking them correctly. The correct doses I mean. I don't always take them at consistent times.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

What would you compliants do if you thought your meds were doing more harm than good? Like they weren't working well and you had akathisia or massive weight gain and you couldn't get a hold of your pdoc/NP for a couple months?

I definitely experienced that with Seroquel. Massive weight gain (as I mentioned earlier). I told my pdoc that the stuff was ruining my health. She...it was like she worshiped the damn Seroquel. She kept insisting that I stay on it. After a while (and after I had been on it for 7 years, prescribed by previous pdocs) I became just really angry and fed up. I was watching my weight increase along with my blood glucose, cholesterol, blood pressure. The "joke" of it was that Seroquel never did a single thing for me except help me sleep. Nothing else. Never even decreased anxiety. It's beyond me why I didn't just STOP taking the crap. Anyway, one day I told my pdoc that that was it. No more Seroquel. I refused. So she reluctantly stopped prescribing it.

Unfortunately, I am using my very last bottle of Seroquel right now. I'm using 12.5mg. every night because I am desperate to sleep. At that tiny dose I don't seem to have any side effects. Still, after this bottle is finished I don't want to continue Seroquel.

[unlived]

Originally Posted by Sapien

What would you compliants do if you thought your meds were doing more harm than good? Like they weren't working well and you had akathisia or massive weight gain and you couldn't get a hold of your pdoc/NP for a couple months?

I did have MASSIVE weight gain. So much over my time on seroquel 10yrs off and on that if I told you how much you wouldn’t believe me. Then it was messing with my heart and I knew it was gonna kill me but I couldn’t get in to my psych and I HAD to stop it right away so I just went to my GP (general practitioner… I think you call them PCPs in the US?) and got her to change the meds and send a letter to my psych and when I saw him he agreed with what she had done.

[Mountaindewed]

I've only taken one dose of the increase in topamax and I'm already ready to go back to my old dose. I feel sick as **** right now and it seemed to start after I took the increase. My zofran isnt helping and I have a long car ride ahead.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by unlived

I did have MASSIVE weight gain. So much over my time on seroquel 10yrs off and on that if I told you how much you wouldn’t believe me. Then it was messing with my heart and I knew it was gonna kill me but I couldn’t get in to my psych and I HAD to stop it right away so I just went to my GP (general practitioner… I think you call them PCPs in the US?) and got her to change the meds and send a letter to my psych and when I saw him he agreed with what she had done.

Oh I would believe you. I started Seroquel in high school when I was on the varsity XC team and by the end of the season I started it they put me to JV because I had gained 30lbs and my times went up by a couple minutes. Like how tf do I gain 30lbs running 5-10 miles a day every day while my coach was constantly telling me to eat more so I wouldn't near pass out on more strenuous days?
So even if you said you gained 200lbs I would still believe you. I'm hoping they come out with more effective meds soon that don't have awful side effects. First generation APs suck because of EPS, second gen sucks for metabolic shyte.

[Crazy Hitch]

I stay on meds because I know I’ll be IP if I don’t.

I’ve played around with a lot of different meds. Some of which didn’t work and some of which caused weight gain. But my pdoc has been quite good with me finding the right combo.

I think the baseline of meds that I’m currently on will remain the same for a while it’s just the dosage that will increase or decrease.

Currently tapering off cymbalta because I’m hypo. But the restless kind. Ughhhhhhh.

[neverending]

Yes I have had massive weight gain over the years from various psych meds. Over 150 lbs. However I have to reason which is more important--the weight or stability. I choose stability.

[neverending]

At this point there are so few meds that I can actually take and it took too long to find a combo that got me stable. Plus therapy.

I forgot to add this to my post above.

[sarahsweets]

The combo I am on now, give or take saved my life. I was IP in 2003 and in 4 days after this combo I was a changed person.

[Blue_Bird]

I used to stop them a lot because I thought I didn't need them because when I was manic I'd feel amazing, then things would get bad, I'd end up in the hospital and back on them. That went on for many years.

However, I have taken them pretty consistently the past few years, and while I do occasionally have episodes and symptoms sometimes where I'll need med adjustments, I've managed to stay out of the hospital this entire time so that's motivation enough for me to keep taking them.

I do get tempted to stop them sometimes though because occasionally I start believing that they're poison, but I've managed to stay on them