Bipolar check-in #65

Weekends are hard for me too. Actually, every day is hard for me but i dont usually get a break on weekends. I slept in today as well. Like you said, fell way behind on plans. I actually had plans today though. Kinda good i slept in though because i am getting help for these plans and my partner stayed in bed too, so we are both behind.

Feeling bad. I have zero plans for mothers day tomorrow. It kinda snuck up on me. Why are there all these days to make us feel guilty?

It’s just a terrible day outside here in the northeast. Rain, wind, temp only 50 degrees. Ugh. We were going to go to the movies but we’re broke after paying the mortgage. Neither one of us get paid until Wednesday, him from his job and me from the state. So we can’t go to the movies or bowling or anything. Sooooo boring!

my son has been upstairs playing on discord and we’ve been binge watching “what we do in the shadows”. Even that’s gotten boring! I started watching Abbott elementary on Hulu. As a school staff and someone in close proximity to Philadelphia it’s very relatable and funny. But these days my attention span is short and I can only get through a couple of episodes of something before getting bored. Even reading is tough for me, I used to be able to finish three books in a day but not these days. I have to wonder if it’s just post Covid brain or if a med is exacerbating it.

Well the Derby party I went to was jumping. Lots of mint juleps and betting. My boyfriend bet once in my name and I didnt know about it. I won $50..he wouldnt take the money. *eye roll* Guys...

Three books in a day?? I usually finish a book in a week if I read every night before bed.

I had a pretty good trip. I would get depressed most evenings of my trip when I was done riding for the day cause I could not stop thinking about my wife. Originally I was going to put some of her ashes in bags and put them in important places to us. I did not do it this time like I had planned. Next time I will do it. I am really depressed being home right now. It has been raining here the last couple of days and I did enough riding in the rain the weeks I was gone and plenty of wind. When it clears up here I will be back to riding. I am working on getting my criminal background cleared out. I hired an attorney to get rid of my 1 felony and 3 misdemeanors from almost 26 years ago. My felony was attempt to Elude a police officer. I was doing 155mph and hour in a 65. My distributor snapped and I lost all power and had to stop. It is what it is. I have not been in trouble for years. This is a picture of the first house we lived in. It looks exactly the same except they added a parking spot in front of the house. It is the same color as it was almost 24 years ago lol. My wife and I had talked about going to those rocks for years but the last 2 times we were out there we forgot all about them lol. I made it out there on this trip. I rode in Temps from 36f all the way up to 85 so a little chilly to nice weather I rode in the pouring rain for a couple of days for hours on end. I rode for hours from Iowa to Nebraska it was like 45 mph steady with highs of like 75mph. I should of called it a day sometimes hours earlier but nope I just kept riding. I was averaging like 45mpg but in the wind it dropped down o 32mpg . I still had fun I wish I was still out there but I need a little break from my break. I'm going over to Washington near Olympia to a motorcycle race. It is on highway 101 and that starts in Olympia Washington and I have a dream of taking highway 101 from beginning to end. That was going to be the first long ride when we got out big boy bikes lol. She was going Harley Fat Bob and I Was going Indian Chief and that was what I got the 21st of April. I rode 3 weeks all over the place I rode all over a bunch of our bucket list rides we had planned to do together. I did them but I only did one in Arkansas and that was The Pig Trail. I should of went up further North but I know better to next time. I had a good ride even with all the weather. I did 5700 miles and some change. I am depressed to be home. I think I have a med manager appointment next week. Need him to start me on another anti depressant maybe bring me out of this hole. I also need some good weather to get out and ride.

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I am kind of mad at N 3. He called at almost 10 this morning and asked if I wanted to go out "for something savory". He said he had to watch something to do with his girlfriend's dad on the internet and it would take 2 hours. So I watched TV and didn't eat in anticipation of our meal. Two hours ago by and he says that they had to pick up her dad from "jail" for domestic violence and that he wasn't allowed to go home so they helped him get a motel room. (I hope only by driving him there!). Oh and gf's older brother came along and was the one driving. So THEN I call him at 6 and - mind you I'm still waiting to eat minus a bagel with cream cheese and some coffee- he says he's out but he'll call me when he's on his way. So the upshot is that I'm grumpy. He JUST now texted me and said he's on his way to pick me up! I think he was extremely rude to me today! I mean I found stuff to do around the house but still he called ME and asked me to go to lunch (now dinner) and then he plays this "keep away" game or whatever it was. And I'm pretty sure that the restaurant I want to go to will be full as it's not a big place but it is popular on Saturday nights.

/Rant

EDIT:. He picked me up and immediately apologized! We had b bim bop for dinner. It was very tasty. And our conversation was nice too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo I had a pretty good trip. I would get depressed most evenings of my trip when I was done riding for the day cause I could not stop thinking about my wife. Originally I was going to put some of her ashes in bags and put them in important places to us. I did not do it this time like I had planned. Next time I will do it. I am really depressed being home right now. It has been raining here the last couple of days and I did enough riding in the rain the weeks I was gone and plenty of wind. When it clears up here I will be back to riding. I am working on getting my criminal background cleared out. I hired an attorney to get rid of my 1 felony and 3 misdemeanors from almost 26 years ago. My felony was attempt to Elude a police officer. I was doing 155mph and hour in a 65. My distributor snapped and I lost all power and had to stop. It is what it is. I have not been in trouble for years. This is a picture of the first house we lived in. It looks exactly the same except they added a parking spot in front of the house. It is the same color as it was almost 24 years ago lol. My wife and I had talked about going to those rocks for years but the last 2 times we were out there we forgot all about them lol. I made it out there on this trip. I rode in Temps from 36f all the way up to 85 so a little chilly to nice weather I rode in the pouring rain for a couple of days for hours on end. I rode for hours from Iowa to Nebraska it was like 45 mph steady with highs of like 75mph. I should of called it a day sometimes hours earlier but nope I just kept riding. I was averaging like 45mpg but in the wind it dropped down o 32mpg . I still had fun I wish I was still out there but I need a little break from my break. I'm going over to Washington near Olympia to a motorcycle race. It is on highway 101 and that starts in Olympia Washington and I have a dream of taking highway 101 from beginning to end. That was going to be the first long ride when we got out big boy bikes lol. She was going Harley Fat Bob and I Was going Indian Chief and that was what I got the 21st of April. I rode 3 weeks all over the place I rode all over a bunch of our bucket list rides we had planned to do together. I did them but I only did one in Arkansas and that was The Pig Trail. I should of went up further North but I know better to next time. I had a good ride even with all the weather. I did 5700 miles and some change. I am depressed to be home. I think I have a med manager appointment next week. Need him to start me on another anti depressant maybe bring me out of this hole. I also need some good weather to get out and ride. Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk

Hi otroo, thanks for the photos. I like those big colorful rocks. I hope you take that coastal highway ride (highway 1). It is magnificent! Thank you for being here on the forum. You bring a lot to it.

Yes ! The humidity is really the problem !

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 I am kind of mad at N 3. He called at almost 10 this morning and asked if I wanted to go out "for something savory". He said he had to watch something to do with his girlfriend's dad on the internet and it would take 2 hours. So I watched TV and didn't eat in anticipation of our meal. Two hours ago by and he says that they had to pick up her dad from "jail" for domestic violence and that he wasn't allowed to go home so they helped him get a motel room. (I hope only by driving him there!). Oh and gf's older brother came along and was the one driving. So THEN I call him at 6 and - mind you I'm still waiting to eat minus a bagel with cream cheese and some coffee- he says he's out but he'll call me when he's on his way. So the upshot is that I'm grumpy. He JUST now texted me and said he's on his way to pick me up! I think he was extremely rude to me today! I mean I found stuff to do around the house but still he called ME and asked me to go to lunch (now dinner) and then he plays this "keep away" game or whatever it was. And I'm pretty sure that the restaurant I want to go to will be full as it's not a big place but it is popular on Saturday nights. /Rant

Yeah, kids...I truly don't think they "get it" that MOM is a human being, not just a convenience. I hope it all straightened out and your dinner was a good one. Keep us posted

Humidity here is not a constant thankfully. When it hits it hits hard tho. Today it’s low 70’s and damp. Walking in wet grass drives me crazy. When I take the dogs back out I’m wearing my rain boots!

In Florida it’s humid so much of the year. Had we moved back to Florida full time Steve would be on oxygen 24/7 by now instead of just at night.

Sorry your already dealing with heat !

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed What brand did you get? I got a Dangtop. I got a queen size which is the size of my bed. I was thinking of just getting a full to use as a throw, but then I figured I might as well get a queen so I could cover my whole bed. Plus the price of the full vs the queen was like a $1 difference. And if it did shrink it wouldn't be a big deal. But it sure made a difference in my sleep.

They really do make a difference in how well I sleep, too. And it's not like they're expensive. Do you have the bamboo sheets yet?

My first bamboo blanket is GOHD, whatever that means. The 2nd one is LAGHCAT - whatever that means, haha. I have some Dangtop sheets.

Gosh I remember when he was such a lil boy ! Congratulations Miguel

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Glad you called and had her over.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Humidity here is not a constant thankfully. When it hits it hits hard tho. Today it’s low 70’s and damp. Walking in wet grass drives me crazy. When I take the dogs back out I’m wearing my rain boots! In Florida it’s humid so much of the year. Had we moved back to Florida full time Steve would be on oxygen 24/7 by now instead of just at night. Sorry your already dealing with heat ! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The first time I felt real humidity was when I stepped out of the airport in San Antonio. It was 3 a.m. and I thought something was wrong somehow. It was as if a warm, damp washcloth had suddenly been put over my nose and mouth. I asked my sister-friend, Cindy, what was going on and she laughed and said, "Honey, that is Texas humidity!"

Then I was in Memphis in August. I was in a shower in our motel room and I was literally sweating while showering. Quite an experience! I'm used to dry, desert-like heat, like an oven.

The nice thing about humidity, though, is that everything stays so green.

Wish you had slept better I had a night of waking up sleep the other day. It’s so exhausting! Hopefully tonight you will catch up

Your mention of kids… when we lived in Florida those 8 months the handful of times Steve’s Granddaughter came over I simply put Dexter and Sirius in the bedroom. I wasn’t going to have my babies stressed with a kid in the house. I’ll admit this because I don’t care. I honestly don’t like kids..they are loud , messy and get into stuff they shouldn’t LOL ! I figure I raised my daughter and that’s enough! She was a easy kid LOL

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Sorry that your day isn’t going the way you’d like. I understand. Hope it improves

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Could you maybe do something just for yourself? Even if it’s small ? Self care is important and even more so on holidays.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Wish you had slept better I had a night of waking up sleep the other day. It’s so exhausting! Hopefully tonight you will catch up Your mention of kids… when we lived in Florida those 8 months the handful of times Steve’s Granddaughter came over I simply put Dexter and Sirius in the bedroom. I wasn’t going to have my babies stressed with a kid in the house. I’ll admit this because I don’t care. I honestly don’t like kids..they are loud , messy and get into stuff they shouldn’t LOL ! I figure I raised my daughter and that’s enough! She was a easy kid LOL Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes, you were wise to put the pups in their own safe space. My cats will hide - most of them, but Sidney is very friendly and affectionate and I'd lose it if she was mistreated in any way.

I always worked with kids, had a load of nieces and nephews who were not that much younger than I, and of course, my own kids. I so enjoyed being around kids more than adults. But as I've gotten older, yes...it's happened. I've become less tolerant. I don't want my stuff or my cats disturbed and noise irritates me.

How old were you when your daughter was born?

What beautiful pictures. Thank you for sharing ! Do you have plans with your daughter for tomorrow?

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