Bipolar check-in #68

Feeling some better today. Didn’t get the car to the garage but that’s okay. The day just kind of flew by on me. My neighbor did bring over homemade egg rolls and fried noodles. Yum and greatly appreciated. I stayed in today but plan to float early tomorrow.

Much like the lame man at the pool of Bethesda, I need to get off my mat of circumstances and carry on. To that end, I’ve signed up for several social events, things at church and online dating. While I have been happy with my neighbor, I don’t want to be tied down in anything serious at this time. I’ve been tied down for years care giving. I want some freedom now to grow and develop myself and my world.

I send hugs to all who need them.

So I slept maybe 3 hours 4-7pm. paranoia sucks, bugs can go to hell, and the damn things just outside my vision can **** off. I guess I'll call my nurse tomorrow. If I can work up the courage. There's one new nurse I don't like there. She asks me questions about my psychosis. Like I'd tell her if I was having problems, I don't know her. I'm hoping I get "my" nurse.

So, work was slightly better, though there were still issues. I didn't call anyone corporate-side because I wanted to see how things were now that everyone has calmed down. Mr. La la la was happy today, mainly because he got what he wanted (and acted like a five year old doing it). I'll take the peace for what it is and watch him like a hawk going forward.

The other one, the one I christened Mrs. Teacher Teacher, was gracious enough to apologize for what happened yesterday. I accepted because I know her (I worked at that store a while back on the Walmart side of things.) and it really was out of character for her.

Also, with all due respect to Mrs. M, it was nice to have someone else apologize for a change. I've committed faux pas in the past (did one today) and apologized and made peace. I seem to be the only one in my immediate orbit who has to do that. Who feels the need to do that. It doesn't do good for my morale that the first thought I had when Mrs. M apologized was "Finally! Someone thought about me and my part and my feelings in all of this!"

Had a vertigo... I guess... attack today. That's what happened for most of January that, in part, caused me to be fired from my job. Luckily, the normal med for that sort of thing, meclizine, worked this time around, and I was only out of commission for twenty to twenty-five minutes. I'll keep the bottle I bought on me for the next couple of days to be safe.

As far as the actual nuts and bolts of my job are concerned, I had five sales and a combined four commitments for sales in the next few days. Not bad for just having to sit there and sell from one spot... on a Thursday. The weekend should bring some busy days though!

Up to 75mg of Lamictal this morning. "I've tripped and I'm falling, but I'll stop tomorrow."

My husband and I are still waiting on some things before our final move plans can be solidified. We really do want to arrange the moving company, but can't until the latter. If our purchase falls through, the majority of our stuff will likely go to a warehouse. If it works out, it goes to the new address. All of this prevents us from continuing our packing. Other than cooking and housework, I feel like I'm twiddling my thumbs, which is frustrating.

I bought a sweater dress in preparation for autumn and winter. Been wanting one. But then of course I needed a new pair of black boots to go with it. I've been wearing a 20+ year old pair this past year. The old boots are a US size 7 (EU 37/38), yet after all of that time I'm now more like an 8.5 or 9 (EU 39/40). The old ones look kinda dated, anyway. I rarely buy new clothes/shoes, so no guilt.

Are you sure you don’t need a shingles vaccine? I got my chicken pox vaccine when I was 29 because I needed it for uni placement (was doing nursing) and as far as I know I still need to get a shingles vaccine when I’m older (recommended for over 60 or over 70 here I think).

Actually I just did a quick read and what I read says you still need the shingles vaccine even if you’ve had chicken pox and even if you’ve had the chicken pox vaccine.

Maybe you had a different chicken pox vaccine than I did?

I thought I slept off the walnuts, but now the pain is back and I'm also getting a headache. Maybe I also need to stop eating so many tic tacs. Idk. I am going to try to eat some pasta for lunch. I hope the cheese agrees with me. I slept well last night so I'm not battling fatigue at the same time. Stomach pain plus fatigue is super hard for me to deal with. I'm basically out of commison all day. I'm going to call my doctor in a bit because this type of pain for sure started up after I ate the walnuts and I want to see if I really did develop a nut allergy and any other allergy. I'm pretty sure I have an egg allergy. I think its kinda bad too I'm scared to eat them after the last time when I ate just one fried egg. My mouth got numb and it was kinda scary. Hopefully my doctor can help me out.

Oh that sounds so nice. Congratulations on fall clothes, it’s my favorite season. I bought an all black sweater dress and didn’t think about shoes, hmm boots would go well lots better than my crocs or gender less sandals I live in.

I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I'd taken Dulcolax (a stool softener) before bed and I also had some ground flax seed in kefir. That worked! For 3 days, I couldn't go! I also couldn't get BACK to sleep because my left leg was hurting. The whole leg from top to bottom ached and was painful. Switching positions didn't help. But it's okay this afternoon thank goodness. I skipped the gym this morning because it was so painful!

I don't know where I got that idea. It looks like I was wrong. Oh well, what's another vaccine? Sorry for being confusing!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed @*Beth* that used to happen to me too a few years ago. My anxiety and moods would get really bad for no reason and I would want to see my pdoc and I was just really confused about what was going on and then like 3 days later I would get super physically sick and after I'd be fine. It was weird.

Yeah, it's weird. I should know by now that if I have a sudden mood episode, I may be getting physically sick. I think the virus sets something off. And I believe the whole thing is proof of how bipolar disorder and other severe mental illnesses are physically based.

I woke up this morning so exhausted I couldn’t get out of bed. I’m deeply distressed that I spend weeks under the weather. It’s another beautiful day to float and I’ve spent it in bed under the covers and in the bathroom. I’m wondering how I’m going to move forward when I keep getting sick physically. Really down about it and wondering what the point is. I’ll try to get back on my feet asap.

I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

Yes! Our brains are mysterious things. I firmly believe that bipolar disorder is organically based.

They're beginning think (read: beginning to prove) mental illness originates in the gut, including BP:
Gut Microbiota in Bipolar Depression and Its Relationship to Brain Function: An Advanced Exploration - PMC

I've had all the vaccines, as have my kids. The cases of polio that have shown up in NYC are scary.

My sister, who grew up in NYC, was a "Polio Pioneer" - one of a small group of children who were the first in the nation to have the pol;io vax, at age 6. She was given a cool card with a congratulations and all the info on it. She was very proud of being a polio pioneer. Sine she is dead now I would love to have that card, but my BIL is being a di*k about going through her stuff.


Even though there is no vaccine for scarlet fever I have had it - twice. Once when I was 9 and again when I was 26. OMG, I was so terribly sick, both times. I always figured I was prone to scarlet fever because I was named for Beth in Little Women. She died from scarlet fever.

Speaking of illness, yesterday was the first day I was able to function more or less normally. My best friend, Mary, says I had covid. It's possible. I was so sick for several weeks, then severely sick for several days. Whatever it was I sure hope it's over and done.

The weather is cooler!! Down into the mid-90's and will actually drop to 90 this week-end. What a RELIEF. I hope and pray that we've seen the last of those scorching plus-100's. But, ya never know.

I'm getting ready for my 40th high school class reunion, which will be on 9/10. I'll be wearing a black dress with mod-style retro black and white flower earrings, black capri leggings, pale apricot platform sandals that I absolutely adore, and and an emerald green clutch. The reunion will be at a nice country club.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots They're beginning think mental illness originates in the gut, including BP: Gut Microbiota in Bipolar Depression and Its Relationship to Brain Function: An Advanced Exploration - PMC

I'm hearing more and more about this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunflower123 I woke up this morning so exhausted I couldn’t get out of bed. I’m deeply distressed that I spend weeks under the weather. It’s another beautiful day to float and I’ve spent it in bed under the covers and in the bathroom. I’m wondering how I’m going to move forward when I keep getting sick physically. Really down about it and wondering what the point is. I’ll try to get back on my feet asap. I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

Well, you sound like the way I was feeling for weeks, until I got terribly ill, then the whole thing ran a course and finally let up. It sounds like you are just really sick with something. If that's the case, there's nothing you can do but wait it out.

There was a psychiatrist back in the early 20th century who also believed this. He performed surgery on people who often died from the surgery if not from having their stomachs and intestines removed. He declared them cured. He also pulled teeth to cure them. The gut theory is an old one.

Hey guys I have a new favorite snack! Bold, Spicy dill pickle almonds! Ooo so good and you only need a couple to get the flavor, they are bold!

Thought I'd share a pic of Maybelle and Mustachio I took today. I took the day off volunteering (I had originally planned to go in today but 3 days in one week was too much for me, especially after the stressful 2nd day) I did 4 hours total this week, which I'm proud of. So I'm going back to doing it around the week of the 5th of September, I'm just taking some time to get things done, and get mentally prepared to start again.

I have a black cat too! His name is Black Jack.

She's actually a tortie, but she's mostly black, here's a clearer picture of her

Black Jack is a great name, I had a solid black cat for many years, his name was Jack

That’s wise to pace yourself. You can always add more time later when you get used to it.

Chilling with my headphone on ,actually slept last night, chasing away hallucinations/paranoia by smoking. my puppy is the darker one. I can't stop thinking I may be homeless next month. It's suck a big risk but we have no choice. We need more help then our state can provide. So we have to make the jump. But I am so scared. It doesn't help I'm having symptoms.

I read the first few pages of the article about the relationship between the gut & bipolar disorder...but my mind kept veering towards fart (gastric announcement) jokes. I'll grow up someday.