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#1
Jul 15, 2022, 08:31 PM
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Haven’t been around for a very, very long time! How is everyone? I’ve been stable for almost 2 years but now…not so much. Losing control of mania and flying high with the tempts you to do bad things kind of anxiety. So worried I’ll end up in the hospital and my husband and I are smack dab in the middle of a divorce so wouldn’t that be wonderful! I need money from my job. Everything is scary. Ahhhhhhhh! My therapist had an emergency session with me today and called my psych. She put me back on seroquel and had me take klonapin tonight neither of which I am very happy about and still don’t see myself sleeping.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
 *Beth*, Anonymous45330, Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, BipolaRNurse, buddha1too, Fuzzybear, HALLIEBETH87, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, unaluna
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 *Beth*, Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, BipolaRNurse, MuddyBoots, Soupe du jour
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#2
Jul 15, 2022, 09:20 PM
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Hi cashart, sorry things are hectic right now but welcome back.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| cashart10
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#3
Jul 15, 2022, 09:28 PM
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Hi cashart, welcome back
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| cashart10
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#4
Jul 15, 2022, 11:25 PM
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cashart! Hi! I'm so sorry that you're having a rough go right now. It sounds like you have a full plate. How are you feeling about the divorce?
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| cashart10
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#5
Jul 16, 2022, 02:58 AM
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Nice to see you back, cashart10! I definitely remember you and am happy to learn you had a long period of stability. You can definitely get that back, but of course it's understandable that the stress of a divorce would bring on a new episode. Getting the emergency assistance from your mental healthcare team is good. You can get through this!
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Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 500 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. |
| cashart10
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#6
Jul 21, 2022, 09:04 AM
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I totally agree dude.
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| cashart10
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#7
Jul 22, 2022, 03:33 PM
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Hey cash. Sorry that you’re unwell
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schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| cashart10
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#8
Jul 22, 2022, 04:47 PM
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Sending hugs! Let us know how you're doing
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"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
| cashart10
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#9
Jul 22, 2022, 09:07 PM
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Welcome back Cash. I’m sorry your struggling and with divorce going on
 Remember to do self care even though the world is spinningSent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| cashart10
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#10
Aug 07, 2022, 06:15 PM
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Thank you all very much! Trying not to disappear again. I just had to go to the hospital for 2 weeks the very next day and since have been so down that I can hardly do anything. The IP dr was very aggressive with my meds to bring me down from mania so he completely removed me from several meds including my Wellbutrin and trintellix which were my only defense against depression. Now I’m working with my own psych to get everything straightened out. I go back to work on Wed after almost a month off and I’m very nervous. I’m even having trouble showering and still worried about panic attacks. I can’t take xanex at work, it will knock me out. Sigh…I go see my pdoc again tomorrow so we’ll see what she says.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| *Beth*, Anonymous45330, BeyondtheRainbow, HALLIEBETH87, Nammu, unaluna
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#11
Aug 07, 2022, 08:56 PM
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Cashart10
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| cashart10
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#12
Aug 08, 2022, 07:28 AM
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Glad to see you back but sorry to hear you are struggling. It's good that you're working diligently with health care providers to get back on track.
Divorce is very unpleasant. I found switching gears back into being a single-person very hard, but once i made it, i never went back and it's been 26 years! Partnerships are very complicated with bipolar. I feel i am managing my life better now that i am single than when i was married. It's a lot more predictable. I have privacy to suffer my depressions and freedom to enjoy my manias. I was recently tempted by a partnership with a younger man, but ultimately i decided i'm better off on my own. Luckily things had not gotten too far and we were able to part without rancor. So: hang in there, an easier life awaits you! |
| cashart10, unaluna
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#13
Aug 13, 2022, 03:37 AM
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Welcome back Cash! I’ve been stable for several years (except for a few very mild hints of mania and depression) and haven’t even explored here in months. I was able to hang onto my stability throughout seeing my son and his husband go through an ugly split and the divorce is going to be just as messy. This led to housing uncertainty for me as my son-in-law’s brother decided he didn’t want me around after my son left permanently. Thank God my oldest son and his sweet fiancée opened their home to me and now I’m here, moved in and thriving. And I got through it all without even a single twinge of depression or mania. Added to the bliss is my SIL found he and his mother miss me terribly and wish I’d never moved out. We talk or text almost every day, and our relationship is completely new and improved. He is also going to continue doing my hair, which he has for years and the prospect of being without someone to manage my hair was almost worse than the idea of being homeless. Haha!
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
| *Beth*, cashart10, Moose72
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| cashart10
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