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  #551  
Old Oct 08, 2023, 04:55 PM
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I definitely push myself to things more sooner rather than later. I used to procrastinate and save things for later, but these days I am more ahead of the game.

How would you rank your bipolar symptoms these days? Very high, moderate or low?
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  #552  
Old Oct 10, 2023, 01:17 PM
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Amazingly. It's been low. I feel like I'm gonna jinx it now that I've said something, but, yeah, my symptoms have been low.

How long did it take for you to get a definitive bipolar diagnosis from the onset of symptoms?
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"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
Thanks for this!
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  #553  
Old Oct 10, 2023, 02:11 PM
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^ good to hear.

I think 3 years. The third year things really got out of control. I didn't think it would become so unmanageable. And now I take this very seriously. Even yesterday, I felt slightly (maybe moderately actually, I tend to downplay my own feelings) sped up so I popped an antipsychotic. Probably not best practice to have my own PRN supply but, I have a good idea of things at this point.

What are your favorite type of clouds in the sky?
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  #554  
Old Oct 11, 2023, 07:55 PM
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The big fluffy white ones. When I was a little girl my grandma used to tell me that I hsould remember that one day when she wasn't here anymore I could look up and she'd be sitting on one of those clouds smiling at me. The memory makes me smile.

Do showers help you fall asleep or wake you up?
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  #555  
Old Oct 11, 2023, 08:31 PM
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Interesting. I would say wake me up if it's summer - I tend to have cooler showers. Winter - probably make me lethargic because I tend to make them quite hot.

Have you ever tried to go med free (for better or worse).....
  #556  
Old Oct 11, 2023, 08:34 PM
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Not since back when I was only on ADs and had no idea I had bipolar. I have never stopped a bipolar med without permission or knowing I would get permission within days. It was too unpleasant back in the AD days.


Do you have physical symptoms that are caused by or affected by your psych illnesses?
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  #557  
Old Oct 11, 2023, 09:41 PM
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Used to, but since dealing with the ptsd situation I don’t seem to get the physical stuff from the bipolar disorder. So I’m thinking my physical stuff was ptsd related.

A fun question tonight. Do you play board games or cards, or did you growing up?
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  #558  
Old Oct 12, 2023, 04:08 AM
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Yeah: Sorry, Monopoly, Shoots and ladders, Ratrace, Guess Who, Battleship, Yahtzee, Masterpiece.. Rummy, Go Fish, Bullsht, Old Maid, Spoons, from what I remember.

Ratrace, guess who, masterpiece, rummy, bullsht - my favorites.

Do you have any reoccurring dreams or even day dreams/thoughts?
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  #559  
Old Oct 12, 2023, 08:11 PM
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Yeah, when I'm really, really depressed I tend to have a recurring dream where I'm chained to something at the bottom of the ocean with a "spotlight" of sunlight around me. Sometimes the dream starts there, sometimes I'm thrown in. I'm conscious of being chained, I'm conscious of holding my breath and I'm conscious of being a long way down. Worst of all, I'm conscious of... something in the rapidly advancing dark that wants me. Something predatory.

There's some aesthetic variations, but they always seem to follow that theme.

Same question: Have you had any reoccurring dreams?
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"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
  #560  
Old Oct 12, 2023, 08:39 PM
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Yeah. This is an oldie that I’ve had for more than 40 yrs. My subconscious noticed that big changes are coming and sends me this dream. It starts out very high in the sky, there’s a penny falling end over end. It continues to fall and turns into a nickel, which turns into a dime, into a quarter. The quarter starts swelling up as in growers bigger and comes closer. Then I wake up. I took this Jung psych class as a junior at the U. And the professor had everyone recording their dreams and trying to come up with ah-ha moments that you realize the meaning of your dreams. I spend a lot of time on this dream because it was reoccurring. In the end it was simple, change. It meant that something was going to change. How cool is that?

Same question
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  #561  
Old Oct 13, 2023, 03:33 AM
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Ah I love it. The changing of the change.

Nothing exciting on this front for me unfortunately. My significant others dreams are far more interesting and frequent. If I had to find something reoccurring, there have been times where I'd be in a scenario of protecting my childhood home from attack by myself, dreams about using, or maybe sexual or James bond type dreams but those settings are always different. The only one with the same setting is the one protecting our house.

Same question! Reoccurring dream?
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  #562  
Old Oct 18, 2023, 04:41 PM
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Not that I can share without a trigger warning and I don't want to add that to this thread. But yes, I have them.

Do you have trouble with short-staffed, behind in their work, pharmacists?
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  #563  
Old Oct 18, 2023, 09:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
Not that I can share without a trigger warning and I don't want to add that to this thread. But yes, I have them.

Do you have trouble with short-staffed, behind in their work, pharmacists?
Not so much short staffed necessarily, but definitely behind in their work! Every month I call on Wednesday saying I'm picking up my meds that Friday and they always give me a hard time, and then on Friday don't have them ready. Like last time I needed them by 2:30PM and called saying I was coming in to pick them up, and the pharmacist on the phone was all like, "WE'RE BUSY. I CAN'T HAVE THEM READY UNTIL FIVE."

Lady, I don't have a way of getting them at that time and I called on Wednesday and I'm on my LAST DAY. I tried explaining my situation, but she was just a ***** to me on the phone. They always are! I don't know why they hate me so much. Sorry for the rant.

Same question.
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  #564  
Old Oct 19, 2023, 08:37 AM
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No, what are they supposed to do

How how water do you drink a day
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  #565  
Old Oct 20, 2023, 09:10 AM
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A lot. I could easily go through a gallon of water in a given day! Lithium, while an extremely effective medicine for me, has the side effect of making me quite thirsty!

In general, what time do you get up in the morning?
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"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
  #566  
Old Oct 20, 2023, 09:53 AM
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Around 8:30am

What time do you go to bed?
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  #567  
Old Oct 21, 2023, 06:09 PM
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Around 9-10pm.

Do you more often ponder current events, or philosophy? (and how come if you are fearless of being judged by lurkers)
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  #568  
Old Oct 22, 2023, 07:44 PM
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Hard to differentiate as they're so often intertwined. If you made me, I suppose current events as they're basically the practical application of the philosophies involved. It's not very often philosophy is changed by the events of the day.

Have you ever been in a bad situation you had to think your way out of? Outwit the bad actor?
__________________
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
  #569  
Old Oct 23, 2023, 04:23 AM
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Rings a bell, but I can't really pinpoint an occasion. I've been in some potentially dangerous or life altering situations, but the only real situation I can recall that I consciously and actively was ********ting someone, was for fun one new years eve when I convinced my group of friends that a girl I was playing beer pong with (who was legitimately a studying actor as you noted, as I found out when we had a second alone) that we were cousins. It was pretty fun/funny. On the train ride the next morning I told them I was kidding around, however none of them believed me for some reason. They thought I was lying about lying.

Same question!
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  #570  
Old Oct 29, 2023, 09:15 PM
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When I was in grad school I often went to the store at night. One night this many started following me and was just close enough to "accidentally" hit me with his cart a bunch of times. I couldn't get away from him, had no idea what to to and was terrified. Finally I managed to lose him. I later realized that I should have gone into self-defense class action and started yelling. I was rattled for a while.

If you could be an Olympics level athlete what would the sport be?
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  #571  
Old Nov 02, 2023, 10:34 PM
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Gymnastics



Will the upcoming time change affect you?
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
  #572  
Old Nov 02, 2023, 10:42 PM
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It’s always does but not to a significant degree that I need professional help

Same question
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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



  #573  
Old Nov 03, 2023, 06:03 AM
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Not necessarily. Or at least I haven't noticed, will keep an eye out. But the weather absolutely.

Favorite sport to watch? How about to play?
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  #574  
Old Nov 05, 2023, 01:21 PM
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I like to watch gymnastics. I don't play any sports.

When (if ever) do you decorate for Christmas?
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  #575  
Old Nov 05, 2023, 01:28 PM
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When I lived with mum I put it up the week after thanksgiving. Now that I live in a tiny apartment I have a ceramic tree I’ll put out the week after thanksgiving. And put a wreath on the door.

Are you looking forward to the holidays
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