Questions bipolar version #10

No, I don’t think it’s something in my personality. I’ve been here now for 7-8 years but the first few I didn’t go out. Just cared for mum. Then covid came. Now I do limited activities. I’m slowly starting to know people. One lady from the Y I have coffee with occasionally. The rest I just see at mahjong and the card games. We are all older and have families. It’s just different at 60 than it was when I was younger. I don’t mind the single life at all.

Looking back at your life can you see progress? Ebbs and flows?

Well, I'm only 27 and most of my life has been one step forward, three steps back, but I feel like I made five steps forward over the past two months so hopefully I can continue at a net positive forward motion.

Did you have any periods of major progress in your life in a short amount of time and what were they like?

Yes, I went from homeless to corporate office in a short amount of time, with several steps in between. However I started in the same lines of work so it wasn't anything new, but even so, my outlook is very different than it used to be.

What is your favorite time of the day and why?

For me, it's the hours between late night and first light. It's hard to explain, but you get a feeling of untapped potential for the day ahead. Also, it's the feeling that you're the only one in the world up and at 'em and that that moment is singularly yours.

To quote Dylan Thomas
Same question.

6am. When most the people up at this time have somewhere to go (so the streets aren't busy) and big retail stores like stop and shop and Walmart are open. Coffee to kick start. Never watch the news. Maybe sports center if there's something that happened the night before. Maybe video games, writing researching, I'm chilling

Same again, favorite time of day?

Probably around 2 or 3 pm. It's mostly always been the case. My mood and energy levels peak then, even before starting medications, but on meds it's similar. I think because my evening Seroquel has mostly worn off by those times. I'm more ambitious at those times. I don't believe my morning meds are sedating.

Do you consider yourself a bit hypersensitive? If so, what was the last small thing that upset you?

Ya moreso than I'd like to think, I can let things like minor roadblocks in my day to day goals, feeling like I'm subjected to something uncomfortable, feeling like I'm being used in some sort of way, having to navigate through situations that don't make sense in the moment to reach a far away goal that may never come, wasting time, over thinking, having to put on a front to dodge judgement, having to play games that take too much thought for what it's worth, etc etc I'm just freestyling here not sure if what I said necessarily makes sense or follows.

Same Question

If we're talking sensitive in the emotional/mood sense, I used to be very much so when I was younger. I'm talking fits of panic and anger until the age of 11. I don't know how it worked, but someone took me aside and in the process of calming me down, said the lines: "Don't sweat the small stuff and nothing is the big stuff." It was like a light switch moment in my young mind. I guess you can say it gave me permission to not have to treat everything in my life as life-or-death important. I could prioritize.

In a physical sense, there's been more than one moment where a friendly person's unexpected but unthreatening touch made me jump like I received an electric shock.

Have any of you guys experienced a similar hypersensitivity to physical touch?

Yes. Unexpected touching puts me into fight or flight mode (usually fight) so fun things happen.

What do you do when you get "the ****-its?" (assuming you get them frequent enough to know what to do when you get them)

I absolutely hate my face being touched. Or gentle grazing of any part of my body. Or the vast majority.

The F-its? I've walked out of half of my dozen jobs through my life. I mean, go to lunch and never come back. No replies on my phone. Was funny reading the notes from my previous employer in the ADP time clock system at my current job. Was something like "we aren't sure where he went. We just never saw him again so we deducted that days pay".

Do you enjoy traveling?

Yes although it tends to wear me out

Do you get tired easily from things most people don't find tiring?

yes, especially showers, anything using my legs or back, or anything that requires focus

favourite thing about halloween?

snow! sometimes

are you currently warm, cold, or just right?

Actually I just got a shiver before opening the internet, so strange. But it's supposed to go from 50 to 80 today.

Same question? Tell me ya body temp

I was cold because I left the window open and it dropped down to 40, but feeling pretty toasty now.

If you were any dog breed, which would you be and why?

Hm, good question, maybe a chocolate lab? Pretty standard dog with a bit more bite than yellow and black, in my experiences.

Same question?

I'll be really specific: a golden retriever/golden lab mix. This is because we had one and she was the happiest, sweetest, funniest dog I've ever known (same with her sister who was my sister's dog).


What is a good comedy movie I should watch?

Arsenic and Old Lace. Just a fun madcap comedy starring Cary Grant!

Revisiting a question I asked before: Do you feel there's been a seasonal component to your manic and depressive episodes?

Yes and no. I have a tendency of being more creative in the spring and more depressed in the fall... though last fall I was hypo.

Same question.

I used to have a hypomania starting the last week of Juily-first week of August but I've avoided that the last few years. I've had severe depressions the last 2 winters and so we're going into it this time with a plan to stop it before it starts.

Does your cycling change with time? Mine seems to be lessening with age (not that I didn't have that severe depression but it's so much better than numerous cycles per year)?

Mine are getting worse with age.

Same question.

Mines gotten better with age, better medication and much better coping skills.

Do you make it a point to have a bedtime ritual

I can't do rituals. after about 2 or 3 nights of doing the same thing over and over again, I just get agitated. rituals/ rooteens just don't work for me because I usually am like really?. do I have to do this again?.

how often do you talk to yourself? (even to yourself out loud)

Almost all of the time, and several times per day outloud. I provide myself with the best entertainment.

What type(s) of humor do you respond to most?

Dry, tongue in cheek, sarcastic, but not puns, I roll my eyes at puns.

When push comes to shove can you make yourself do things you know you should do or do you say later?