Bipolar Check-in #72

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu I’m just so done with winter already. The dark, the cold. Brrr it will be April before we see the snow vanish. snow for the holidays is fine, but then it needs to go away. Yet it’s good we’re getting lots as we need the moisture.

I feel for you. It seems to me that autumn began a year ago. Here, however, we will begin to see early signs of spring when February begins and by Valentine's Day it's quite likely we'll have sunny, nice weather. If we have rain it will be a "spring rain."

I think it has to be extremely challenging to have winter extend months beyond the holidays. It is good for the earth, of course. Hard for people though. I genuinely admire you for hanging in there. And I hope this isn't an inappropriate thing to say, but if you're feeling down or blah, well, you know where to find me.

I know this isn't helpful, but I can't help but say after last summer, I will never look forward to the end of winter. Too many sleepless nights due to heat/humidity, too many walks/hikes not taken because just going to the mailbox made me feel like I'd pass out, too much wildlife all out of whack because of drought, etc.
So, yeah, I'll take it being dark between 4pm-7am over between 11pm-4am and being a bit chilly and having to do some shoveling and white knuckle driving every now and then over that shyt any day. Then again, I don't live in Buffalo.

Happy New Year everyone!

I’m all ready for New Year’s Eve, I put my black pjs with stars on them on, nested under my brand new gunmetal fleece throw listening to jazz. I turned on all the fairy lights and the tree. I hope tonight’s music is listen able. To be honest I find most modern music to tinny and piecing for my pleasure.

@*Beth* That does sound a like a great idea. I like the idea of you advocating for yourself, as it should be. A doctor's medical expertise and your expertise of your body and needs should have equal value in the doctor-patient relationship. I hope he is receptive. Fun fact ! I study pharmacology just for the fun of it, and if I'm not mistaken Emsam (selegiline) is structurally very similar to amphetamine.In fact, I think it's metabolite may even be an isomer of amphetamine -- which means it'll work by increasing dopamine in the brain (of particular interest D1 receptors) and of course norepinephrine so you may see more of a robust response in conjunction to it's MAO actions. Anyway, I am interested to see how that goes!

I'm not feeling the greatest today. Nothing is really wrong, it's just a blah day. I did study a little bit of my web development course and I spent some time starting a timeline of trauma to give to my new therapist. I'm kind of exhausted. Now that I've written that. I guess staring at a list of negative life experiences would bum me out. lol. Anyway. Nothing to report. Happy New Year's Eve everyone! I'll try to stay up until the ball drops in NYC.

@*Beth* one thing you probably know after your research, but Emsam is not a typical MAOI. There are interactions but for me that means my family doctor or any other person who will be prescribing for me need to run a med checker before prescribing. Which should be done with an AP anyway. Not a big deal. Surgery requires either anesthesiologists who are comfortable working with the MAOI or 2 weeks off prior to surgery. I've had surgery a number of times with anesthesiologists who were comfortable. There are food interactions at 9 and 12 mg but they aren't as desperate as traditional MAOIs. I eat cheese with my pdoc's approval and am fine (she gave me the OK after talking to the man who developed the med and he said the FDA insisted on the restriction out of fear more than anything that showed up in trials). I do not eat the other things on the restriction list. I wouldn't tell med dude about the cheese thing but because the Emsam doesn't go through the stomach the restrictions are just better. And hopefully you are fine at 6 mg which doesn't have food restrictions.

I think Emsam is a really great drug that too many providers are afraid of. Like I told you before I've been on it 13 years now and have never had a problem except 2 times. Once I got a headache after I ate something I shouldn't have and that may have been a coincidence. The other was when I was newly on it and nobody had thought to tell me that if I had a fever I needed to take the patch off. I had a horrible stomach virus and was very dehydrated along with a fever and wound up in the ER with a head to toe rash that went away when the patch was removed and I got some benadryl.

I hope med dude listens and is willing to try it. I'm sure it is scary as a provider (which is why I'm the only one on here posting about being on it; it's too good of a drug for me to be the only one) but it works so well and with so few side effects.

That would explain why I was quite wired when first on it. @*Beth* you should know that. I paint a rosy picture but the first couple months were not super easy. The depression lifted but I was pretty anxious and needed more anxiety meds for a bit. I tend to forget that one downside. It did go away and it may have been increased because the first month I was on it my pdoc was out for surgery and so wasn't there for me. So my family dr worked with me which was fine but I was anxious without my experienced pdoc. And then I got sick as mentioned in my prior post and that was also a difficult experience. I think after 6 weeks-2 months my body regulated itself and I was not anxiety or wired anymore. Until then I took hydroxyzine, klonopin and valium. Now I would probably just use the klonopin and gabapentin since we know now that works well for me.

Thank you so much @Brentus. Pharmacology is very interesting to me, too.

I'm really sorry, though, that you're not feeling up to par today. I hope you get a good sleep and awaken feeling refreshed

You have been an angel @BeyondtheRainbow, with giving me so much help and encouragement, and your experience with regard to Emsam. I have very few options when it comes to AD's.

I hope and pray that med dude is open to listening to the research I've done and is not defensive about it. He can get that way when he feels he's being "told" what to do, which concerns me. So all I can do is hope. I called the research hospital's psych clinic yesterday but they were closed for the holiday. Doubt they'll accept my insurance, but hey, who knows. Last resort - my GP is incredible. If I have to, I will explain everything to him and tell him I must have help with this.

@*Beth* you may be surprised about the research hospital. I go to one and Medicare works great with them.


I was pretty much totally out of AD options when I went on Emsam. There are a few that have come out since I started it that I've not been on but I pretty much exhausted my options. The last year or 2 before Emsam I was on imipramine and had a dose that ranged over 30 mg or so. When I was up I lowered the dose and when I was down I increased it. But the baseline dose kept going up and eventually I couldn't tolerate it while needing the high dose most of the time. So Emsam it was and I'm so glad.

If I can answer any questions feel free to ask. I hope it goes well.

On the west coast of the U.S. we're the last ones to hit midnight (except Hawaii) so I don't want to miss wishing those of you here on this thread a Happy New Year, bringing good health, peace, bright blessings, and always, caring support. Thank you for being here. I don't know how I'd make it without you, I'm serious. But thank you, too, for letting me be your friend and part of your support team. That means so much to me.

BeyondtheRainbow
I have the exact diagnosis as you!

Our dinner was pretty bad. The food was fine, it was the service. I've never had a ruder waiter. The guy was a complete jerk. He was snarky to both me and my mom. He just was rude but in like a very strange way. I get it was New Years Eve but you don't treat anyone like that at anytime. We weren't even doing anything. My mom asked for thousand island dressing and he said "no thousand island." Then when I ordered my food he raised his eyebrows and said rudely "and your sides?" I told him what I wanted and he snapped again and said "I can't hear you." So I repeated myself. Then he was incredibly nasty to my mom when she had a question about the bill. She was paying with a gift card. We left just under a 15% tip and booked it.

It made me very uncomfortable, but I don't think it was a targeted sort of thing because of my gender identity. I actually think one table left because I could hear him saying stuff to them too.

But yeah it was a pretty weird night.

I slept a lot today but here I am amped up again!!!!!!!!!!!’

My kitty has been so sweet the last few days! I just adore
Him! Sweet Finnegan.

I couldn’t imagine your drive. EEEEK !

Amanda plans to come up in a few months. As for his Boys? They are selfish brats and don’t MAKE the time to come up at any given time. it’s a bull$&@$.

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Here’s hoping we all slide into 23 full of Joy with New hopes and dreams


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Wow food is expensive here almost $8 for a dozen eggs. Gotta find a new place to shop. We only bought a couple of things and it came to almost $100. Breakfast for a few days and dinner. We normally skip lunch. We have to figure out a better way because my h was frustrated and overwhelmed. I was anxious and overwhelmed. Target is not a good place for us.

Do you have ALDI near you? It's the most affordable place here by far. I supplement with Walmart but most of my food is from ALDI.

I buy so much and save soooo much money shopping at Aldi! Especially with the staple pantry items.

And produce! So much cheaper.

Almost any grocery store would be cheaper than target.

The rain has turned into a tremendous, gusty rainstorm. The 2 very large rivers in this region are okay, but many creeks are flooding and what a mess. Lines of cars with people in them, stranded because they can't get across flooded roads and streets to reach their homes, and of course there's always the guy who thinks he can drive across a flooded road. He attempts to, loses engine and brake power and finds himself in a boat that is quickly sinking in water that's deeper than he'd thought it was. People are being evacuated due to flooding. I feel so sorry for them, because the flooding occurs so rapidly.

We lost electricity for about 10 minutes. I panicked because Sidney's insulin must be refrigerated. I am so, so fortunate because I am in a program and receive Sid's insulin at no cost. But if her insulin is ruined it would cost nearly $400 to replace, I would need it within a day, & it's an amount I no more have access to than I don't know what. So I'm praying hard that the electricity maintains now. I'm so nervous about it. If anyone sees this, please will you send a prayer or good energy? Thank you.

I was watching some glittery stuff on TV and I suddenly remembered the NYE's of 2000. That was a joyful night! I'd almost forgotten it.

I’m watching Nashville big bash for New Year’s Eve! So fun!