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Old Jul 22, 2023, 05:56 AM
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insideoutsider insideoutsider is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2023
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 813
Good morning all. I think the rain was nice white noise last night - good for a movie.

I'm over all these violent films. It no longer intrigues me. The glamour of it all.


People drive down the street in their little metal boxes, rage at you (and I am no exception), and expect everything to go la-di-da afterwards.


People are people. Can't always predict the future. At what point is overthinking destructive? At what age should I just, run with what I think I know and start being comfortable sharing my experiences? Must I reach a point to teach, or should it have been a desire that fulfilled me from the start? Because it didn't. Or at least, not in the sense of having authority over people - I am afraid I'd misuse it.


Am I even stable enough to not be in a more fulfilling and creative line of work - to be in a non structured environment? Have I learned from my past, or am I taking this life for granted?

Ugh, don't mean to stirr things up. It's just that in my current situation, such thoughts tend to make me seem "jaded" and cause my significant other to get into negative thinking. I hop in and out of negativity, dysthymic since 22, bipolar at 25, and confused at 31.

Thanks for following these thoughts and I apologize if it made you feel a certain way.

Vent over, enjoy the day - it could be the best one of your life. Don't think about the probability of that being true. The mere fact that it could be is always true.

And yeah, I guess to come full circle, this disorder is a thing, and a high dose of an anticonvulsant helps me, personally, but it's still clearly a thing.
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bizi, HALLIEBETH87, Soupe du jour
Thanks for this!
bizi

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  #2  
Old Jul 30, 2023, 07:19 AM
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insideoutsider insideoutsider is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2023
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 813
Just like the earth and life forms evolved from the breaking and clashing of natural elements, I think being exposed to extreme moods can open ones mind. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse, but that's just part of the process.


Maybe I won't understand the purpose, but I can play a part in the coexistence of different types of peoples and the expansion of thought beyond a static mood.

Just watching a science YouTube video - trying to relate this back to my own self, as "disorders" are theoretically inevitable, and arguably necessary
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  #3  
Old Jul 30, 2023, 12:28 PM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by insideoutsider View Post
Just like the earth and life forms evolved from the breaking and clashing of natural elements, I think being exposed to extreme moods can open ones mind. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse, but that's just part of the process.

So true, insideoutsider!
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Dx: Bipolar type 1

Psych Medications:
* Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg
* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 500 mg

I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia.
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