Bipolar Check-In #78

@Scooter9

Tmi (sorry) but seroquel makes me really constipated. I take milk of magnesia for it. Like, if I don't I'm lucky if I can even take a **** once a week. My GP said it was fine if I took it every night. I take it every night. It's a saline laxative. Not a stimulant. Have you tried that? It might work. Good luck!

Well depression has its claws deep in me and pulling me down hard. I just need a little time to rally up for a fight. I’m just exhausted deep in my bones. I just can’t take a deep breath while drowning in Fibromyalgia,CFS, PsA and everything else

Oooaf

I am having a horrible time. This thing with my husband is driving me straight into a psych ward again. I feel it coming on. One minute I am crying and yelling at God, the next minute I am high like a kite and can't stay still. It's like I am flipping in between mania and depression and the main issue is that I can't sleep. I know myself, once I don't sleep this bipolar curse shows its ugly self.

Please God take this pain from me and allow me to let him go.

Hugs and love for @raspberrytorte, @~Christina, and @LadyShadow

Anyone know how to make 6ish years go by REALLY FKING QUICK?

I'm at my fking dad's because I don't really know where else to go and it's like 25dF out and waiting for section 8 is hell

Oh no muddy, not yer dads. Be safe

WHY do I always have the urge to mess around with my meds? Now I'm weaning myself down on seroquel of all things. And I WAS going to do loxapine, but I told my husband about it and he made me promise to talk to my pdoc about it first.

I'm just... NOT HAPPY BEING ON NINE MEDS.

IF EVERYONE LIKES THESE MEDS SO MUCH, WHY DON'T THEY TAKE THEM?!

Not to be a ***** or anything.

But seriously.

I'M the one putting the **** in my body.

My withdrawels can go kiss my *** today. I was doing fine on the 12mil of Prestiq and 25mil lamictal. I was moody and stuff but that was about it. My mom *****ed me out a bit about not being totally polite on a zoom call this morning. All I was doing was saying "yeah" instead of "yes". As if she should be talking about being polite to people. But now I am really nauseated and dry heaving. I have bad muscle aches in the front of my thighs from working out and I can't kneel in front of the toilet so I'm in bed with my bucket and the heating pad. I was going to go see my uncle for my birthday this weekend but I'm not sure its a good idea now. But my anxiety is ok and I feel overall stable. Just crappy physically mostly.

Definitely hit a low today. But I picked up myself and cleaned my house and found some peace today. Had a rough night because I ripped off the mask of my CPAP last night and just slept and slept really badly. I am not taking care of myself like I should because I am really going through it over my husband. Being on my own is really hard, and I am just getting used to it.

Taught my first 2 classes today and oh my gosh they were great! The kids were well behaved. Could this be the answer to my prayers. Good classes? Idk!

Caleb made our train reservations for our trip in May!

Sir’s urn came today. It’s beautiful, wood with blue fractals and paw prints. Now I just need to transfer him. I’m kinda putting that off. Shudder

@Nammu I think my vet's office will handle the transfer for you. It might be worth a call.

Have you ever seen cremains? I was really nervous about what they'd look like when we scattered my father's but it's just a fine grey powder. There won't be much.


It may be in a plastic bag you can just move into the urn you bought. . Which sounds beautiful btw.

I'm so sorry you are going through this hurt.

I have secured a roof and a legitimate bed for the next 5 nights. A break from the couches, yay! Sketchy part of the city with a shyt ton of people living on the streets though, but I ain’t gonna complain.

Glad to hear you are out of your dad’s. Place. Yay.

I don't really know whats going on. I just don't feel good physically. I'm very nauseated and my entire body aches. Idk if its just more withdrawel stuff or the bug my sister had over the weekend.

I almost want to go to immediate care. I'm under all my blankets now and I can barely stay awake and I'm just so achy all over.

Update: I fell asleep for half an hour. I woke up feeling better but I still had a headache so I took some advil. My chills and body aches are ok now. Today is just rough though. My moods and depression are ok. My anxiety is a bit tough. I didn't eat that great today but I didnt drink any coffee. Or much soda. Maybe thats why I have a migraine... I've had a lot of water though.

Dewd - i gotta have my coffee, and i mostly only have one a day, sometimes a small mocha latte. IIRC, you sometimes have like 3 coffees or teas or dews in a day? Seriously, i have one foot in the grave until my coffee, i am limping and everything. Afterward, im not flying, but at least im not trippin over stuff and hanging onto walls!

I am unhappy with my university. its awful! we are ALL stuggling and hate it. I wrote a strongly worded email to the director explaning why im probably leaving after this biterm. she wnats t o talk

I am super frustrated right now. to try to calm down.

I want fried chicken.

I drank a medium gas station Mountain Dew and I

My blood pressure is 138/90

Another successful day at work! Lovely classes again today! I feel very spoiled. I’m not taking this for granted.

Manic right now. Can't sleep. Keep thinking about that painful voicemail message my husband left me tonight. I am tormented.

I feel like punching something. I feel really pissed off. I feel like screaming into the wind. I'm hot one moment and then freezing the next minute. I threw up in a bucket 45 minutes ago. I feel all twitchy. I can't get comfortable and I'm antsy and jittery and constantly moving around. My anxierty is sky high

When does it end?

Dewd, maybe the meds you recently decreased or stopped, were masking your testosterone?

I don’t like not remembering shyt. I’m at some sort of clinic and I don’t even know why. I don’t really know how I got here.

Literally exactly how I felt coming off opiates. Each day gets better once you’re completely off and it’s out of yer system.