Triggered by church

I have not been here in a long time. It's nice to see some familiar names. Today I'm feeling kind of alone. This week has been really hard at work and I wonder how I can make changes to what I'm doing so that I am make life easier. In addition, I have been triggered by the sermon at church today. The topic was forgiveness.

@UpDownMiddleGround welcome back to MSF. I am sorry you had trauma growing up. That can really affect your moods.

Forgiveness is a really charged word for me that I try to avoid because it reminds me of church and the forgiveness of sins. I have struggled with people that harmed me not wanting to be caught up in thinking about them but also not wanting to condone something that was not right.

I finally settled on this "What you did was not right and it was very hurtful. You must have been hurting really bad to be that desperate and do what you did. If you want forgiveness pray for it, I need to move on with my life and so I am letting go of this as much as I am able. I do not wish you harm but instead help to heal the wounds you must have inside. I must heal the wounds in my heart so I am not going to keep running the incident in my mind. If it comes up I am going to put it back on the back burner until I can let go of it someday. I am not going to torture myself thinking about it. Letting go is all I can do right now."

Hope you get the support you are looking for.
CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

Has the man asked you for forgiveness? If he has not, I would not even think about this subject as it applies to him. Unless and until he asks, this is simply not relevant in your life. I am sure you have so many vital issues that need to be dealt with instead; focus on them.

I understand how suicidal ideation is the default response but am not familiar with the skin crawling. I hope you will get responses from people with lived experience of that.

Some things can never be forgiven.