Bipolar Check-in #80

I haven't thrown up much today. Only a couple times. I can keep water down. But I am so exhausted I can't get out of bed. I restarted my vitamin D. So hopefully it helps and doesn't give me much trouble. Last time it gave me some anxiety.

I accidently gave myself my shot the wrong way on Wednesday and now I have a big blue and purple bruise with a white middle on my stomach.

But mainly today I'm just tired. My anxiety has been ok lately. I'm not relying quite as much on my valium.

@Blueberrybook:

I'm glad to hear you were able to resurrect your reading hobby. I was a voracious young reader too but since i got really sick i haven't been able to read for pleasure. I've developed another hobby, but i still miss reading. I'm happy for you.

Before this "no safe experience" crap, I was doing "baby stims," and OMG I actually read books. That was when I read The Body Keeps the Score, the first three Harry Potter books, I Hate You, Don't Leave Me, and some shytty book from the library, I think it was called Atalanta. All in less than a month, and it felt great to actually read a sentence and understand it.

Nothing interesting happening on my end. Painfully bored.

It's Hike Naked Day. So happy trails!

She's doing better, thanks. It was very scary (especially because it had similarities with how her brother died). Today she's been lethargic and not really coming out from under my bed. The vet said that sounded like pain so she got pain meds. Amazing little pills that can go in food and work for 24 hours. I never thought I'd get a pill in a cat but I just stuck this in some wet food (which she'd never had before) and she gulped it down. When this is over I have a feeling she'll be getting canned food treats from time to time.

After the pain meds kicked in she seems a little better. She's been out from under the bed several times and has eaten well. She's interacted with me a little so I think we're heading in the right direction.

Poor little girl though.

I slept for a couple hours and I woke up from this same nightmare I had last night, with bad anxiety. I tried eating something and drinking something since I skipped dinner. But I just ended up puking for 10 minutes. Now I can't sleep

And how do I keep gaining weight by eating less, eating better, and drinking less soda and coffee? I've put on about 5 pounds these last 2 days.

Feeling really good this morning! Got five hours of sleep, which is good for me. Had a chill day yesterday, just listening to my audiobook so I can approve it for final production. So excited 😊. Chose the perfect narrator for Ava. Just have a couple minor edits I want her to do so far, so all is good.

I was getting all hot and bothered yesterday, you know, thinking about Husband, and then I saw our neighbor who likes to walk around in his boxers and under boob shirts. He is NASTY. Old, flabby, lots of facial hair, only one tooth, has kind of a lurching walk, drinks a lot of beer, looks like a gnome... Dried me right up. I guess the answer to my hypersexual problem is to think about HIM. Lol. Actually, I'm laying in bed right now, next to sleeping half naked husband and have a mini clitoral erection. Does he REALLY have to be so... APPEALING?! Ugh! I can't stand it!!! 😒 Sorry for the rated R tmi guys.

I was gonna say my hypersexuality has decreased... but it really hasn't. All I can think about are certain male parts and putting them in my mouth!

Again. Sorry!

Had the strangest dreams last night. Definitely inserting in novel worthy!

After puking all night I weighed myself this morning and I had lost 5 pounds. Idk. I look it though. I ordered some toothpaste, vitmain D, body wash and fruit from Walmart. Then half an hour ago I went to Walgreens where I got a different kind of melatonin called Olly. My old kind seemed to have stopped working. I had enough money left on my insurance spendable card so I saved $15. I feel ok right now.