Bipolar Check-in #80

I'm out of options at this point. I've tried different OTC pain meds. Zofran. Dramamine. Align. Tums with nausea relief. And I still am in a lot of pain. I took some melatonin so I can try to relax. I'm supposed to be going on a trip for the 4th of July but I'm not sure.

Oh yeah, and I tried a couple peppermints. Which worked great until they were gone.

Idk if I took too much. The only thing I ate was a breakfast sandwhich at 7:30.

Sorry for the tmi. When I went to the bathroom it was pretty pale with some weird looking stuff in it. I am worried I have colon cancer.

Oh great now I have anxiety diarrhea, on the night before I travel! Imodium and I are besties at the moment.

Oh and I have a hemeroid from all the bowel activity. Geez.

@Mountaindewed, that stuff you saw is probably mucous since there was nothing to poop out.

@Mountaindewed

Have you tried drinking ginger lemon tea? Ginger lemon tea and I have become besties these past few days.

Not sure about the weird looking stuff, but I have pale poop because of an inability to produce bile. I'd assume if your stool is consistently pale it'd be either liver or gallbladder not producing/not releasing the bile.

wtf is wrong with me?

I kind of wonder that about myself sometimes too, as of late.

I'm glad America is free enough to have debates like the one we saw tonight. You have a good thing going with a great democracy, let's hope it stays that way.

Today was pretty good. I got more done today than I have in awhile. I'll be seeing my mom the next few days, which can trigger symptoms, so I'm trying to manage the anxiety connected to this. I just filled my risperidone today though so I've got what I need to try to manage if symptoms pop up (it's hard for me to tell if I have symptoms today or am just in such a better mood today that it feels weird).

Filling meds is weird. My lamotrigine automatically refills every month, without me having to do anything. It sounds like me pdoc doesn't have to do anything either so I don't know what's up with that. But, with my risperidone increase, the pharmacist had to talk to me about the increased dose and then asked if I was still on Wellbutrin before giving me the risperidone. Maybe, because it says take 1.5 of a 2 mg tablet daily? It's not a big deal to have to confirm the change-it's good they double check what they have is correct-it's just interesting to me that one refills all by itself while another gets looked into. I suppose one being a mood stabilizer and one being an antipsychotic might have something to do with it.

My therapist told me Tuesday that he is having his hip replaced and will be out for an undetermined time. Today I got text messages cancelling 2 appointments. Unfortunately I'm on vacation the week before his first time off so it's inevitably going to be a while without seeing him. I'm really scared of that. I didn't do well missing a week. I know I can see another therapist and he said we may be able to zoom after he's had some time to start to heal but it's going to be some time without him. And that scares me. I'll also miss my pdoc appointment during that time because I'll be on vacation so I'm really going to have to be tough and get through this. I just wish they hadn't sent the texts about him being out today...it's made me more anxious. But I know not all of his clients could possibly know already so they neede to let people know. I get it, it's just stressful. I've been seeing him 18 years and so not seeing him for potentially weeks is a big change.