Bipolar Check-in #83

Glad you slept @Nammu! I never function well went I can't sleep. I tried so many different things for sleep over the years, but Seroquel is the only thing that's worked well and consistently for me.

My mood seems to be heading down, down, down. Some fleeting SI thoughts today and more dissociation than normal. I'm hoping once I can get back into exercising regularly it might help my mood. Might be able to try pilates again tomorrow morning depending.

I have seen snow on our wild little mountains! I can't not!

My CM said it is very obvious I be manicking and she's telling my pdoc who was not in office today, grrr! I SHALL TAKE ALL THE SLEEPY MEDS AND SLEEPY TEA TONIGHT! (As safely as amount wise possible)(also FKING OUCH I BENT MY FINGER!)

Shawty, out. *mic drop*

edit: I think I'm gonna take a MSF break before potentially offensive stuff comes out. Not that I have any reason to just start aggressively insulting anyone here, I just don't want my triggering arse to start joking about stuff that shouldn't be joked about here.

Hip hip hooray for those lovely zetas! Sleep is a mircacle of all sorts, I would put money down that's a major reason for the improvement!

Thanks blueberry, I’m absolutely floored that I slept so long. Like I mentioned my eyes! My eyes don’t hurt! It’s fantastic. Even though today is grey, dark and cool, I feel good.

I’m sorry you are going down though. That’s not good. How’s your groin is it up for excercise? Can you call your sister and have a talk?

My profesor wants me to try to get disability accommodations for school so if im havig issus again i can have more time on assignments. idk if my psyd wll go along with that but i printed off the paper work.

wht do you talk about after being unstable for 3 -4months with your t? damage control? ive ruined my finances.. im praying my school loan refund comes inthis week bc idk how ill affford car insurance and rent without it due to having to take unpaid time off wokr last week due to all the flashbacks. im worried sick. and we had huge vet billwith out cat so our savings is down a considerable amount. i *could* borrow from it til i get loan refund. i havent been spending last couple weeks much thankfully. its jsut i had to leave work. i wish we werent so broke all the time. i cant wait fro my husband to start a better paying job. he graduated last december and im gettting tired of waiting for him to pass his certification exam. i mean come on and i have to tell him to study. we will never get ahead while im still in school if he doesnt take it serious. i still have til may before i graduate so i literally cant work any more hours with ssdi or ill get in trouble. i already wokr 20 at my job and 18-20 at practicum for free weekly. plus homwokr and regualr life chores. its a lot.

im feeling stressed. very stressed.

I finally really slept! I fell asleep watching a youtube video last night and slept 12-14 hours (I don't know when I fell asleep). I didn't wake up from a single nightmare or any other cause until 10 AM and I fell asleep immediately after I went to the bathroom then.

I finally don't feel so tired but my anxiety level has been really high all day for no reason I'm aware of. I have taken all my PRN Seroquel and the 2nd dose has not done anything. (Thank you btw to those who told me there were 25 mg Seroquel tablets. I think when my pdoc looked it up she looked at ER which doesn't have 25 mg tabs but IR does. I'll ask for some 25 mgs when I talk to her Friday). I don't understand why I'm so extremely anxious lately. Maybe my therapist can help me figure it out more tomorrow. I know some reasons but I don't think they are worth this much anxiety. Even stupid things like a hard level of my game make me anxious.


But I slept. And that is worth so much. ( @Nammu SO GLAD you got some good sleep too!)

Oh, yay! Rainbow 🌈 you got sleep too!