Bipolar Check-in #83

TW





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I can’t believe One Direction singer Liam Payne is no longer with us

I'm bored and uncomfortable. I even managed to get outside today. But it was too cold to really enjoy it. I got my dog groomed yesterday and she looks super cute. It was stressful because she hates it and i can't bear for her to suffer. But she was done quickly and seemed in good spirits when we picked her up, so no lasting effects. Been doing some boredom eating today. I got a 99 point play in Scrabble today.
That was nice. Does anyone here want to chat? I'll be keeping an eye on the chatroom. Oh, the days and nights of JaneOnceMore...

i should be doing homeowkr. i always have some to work on. instead im just doing sefl cae. music, hot shower, snacsks etc.

im no back to my 100%. not yet

My mom has a fever of 101 and is acting totally out of it. She refused to take a covid test and I was really worried so I texted my sister who called her. My mom is agreeing to take the test and my sister thinks my mom just needs to rest.

I don't think I've ever had to take control of a situation like this one before. Defiently not with my mon. But I knew what to do. I've been asking my mom to take a covid test all day.

As for me, I just have a migraine mainly. My mom went and got Mcdonalds for my brother and didn't ask if I wanted anything. One of the odd concerning things shes doing.

My mom is positive. My nagging and texting my sister was the right thing to do. My mom said she'll call the doctor in the morning for paxlovid or something.

Idk if I'll get it. My temp is normal and I'm not coughing, but my head hurts like a *****.

Thats tough. I used to have to call my brother to tell him to tell my mother to do stuff like that. She wouldnt listen to me. But she looooved when he told her. She thought he noticed and cared. Its okay, we will get our crown in heaven, as the nuns used to tell us! But it still makes me a little sad now that i didnt see that red flag.

So get this. Yesterday, my PCP prescribed me a different birth control than the one she originally tried that insurance denied coverage for. Despite the fact that I planned to pay for it with a Good RX coupon, the ran it through my insurance for pre-approval. I received an email today, from my prescription insurance provider, claiming it was approved. I don't want to get my hopes up to much until I have the meds in my hands but this is a good, unexpected sign. I wonder if she coded it differently this time. Insurance is so weird. I'm hoping I can get it by this weekend. I'm noticing some hypersexuality so would like to start taking the med asap to see if it helps in case other symptoms plan on kicking in soon.

I saw my t today. He challenged my negative thinking with cbt. Not sure if I can say I feel better afterwards but it was a worthwhile experience. He’s also working on my self esteem and my core beliefs.

its soooooo coooooold here at work. i freaking hate it. im freezin with a sweater and coat on

Had a fairly productive morning. Well, I woke up at 2am after 5 hours of sleep and couldn't get back to sleep. So I stayed up and cleaned. Then did laundry. Now I am trying to decide what to do with the rest of the day. I'm taking it easy becuase yesterday and the day before I had appointments both days. IDK why but appointments wear me out mentally. Also I dissociated both days on the walks home from my appointments. And I didn't sleep well last night. So I'm staying home today having a "rest" day and chilling, playing games, watching shows, and reading. Tomorrow I have a lot I need to do.

Now my uncle has covid. They were all together this past weekend. My mom got a telehealth appointment set up with her doctor and got a prescription for Paxlovid. She doesn't have a temp anymore but she is very tired and is coughing and is just very worn out.

I'm doing ok. I'm a little bit worn out but thats about it. I have a telehealth therapy appointment in a bit.

Don't eat boiled peanuts. They are a cardinal sin.

I had my therapy appointment. It went well. She says I'm doing good. And whatever is going on now is just cold like stuff. She asked if I was worried about getting covid myself. And I was like "should I be?" I guess I was kinda just like what happens happens.

I see my gp today. Need a certificate for more time off work. Wish me luck. Actually my regular gp is on leave so I’m seeing someone else at the practice. My psychologist has written a letter saying I need time off work so that should make it a little bit easier, I think. She’s a female that I’m seeing today and I hope she’s not grumpy like my regular gp. At the end of the day I am not fit for work yet according to my psychiatrist and psychologist so I don’t think they can argue that.

I had a terrible nights sleep last night. My chihuahua kept running outside and barking at who knows what so I kept having to get up and bring him back inside. And I got up a few times to go to the toilet. Then also woke up randomly for no reason. You get the picture. It was just bad. Maybe after my gp appointment I can come home and sleep before I pick up my son from school …..

Is it just me or is this check in thread moving slowly today?

Sorry I’m anxious and making ramblings.

I'm doing okay, less down than I was a few days ago but I'm extremely tired today despite a full night's sleep. I even took a nap after lunch and it didn't help much.

The dermatologist's office called and the mole the doctor biopsied came back as abnormal so now I have to go back for a 2nd more involved biopsy on Nov. 1 and for her to hopefully remove all the margins of the mole. I'm anxious about it because H had a to have a procedure like this done in the past and he was really hacked up from it.

I got up early but took a 2 hour nap this afternoon. Yeast infection still there. Got another week of creams. Feeling less hyper. Saw N3 and his gf. They found me at Panera and sat down with me. Still no acceptance email. Could be months! I hope it’s soon. N3 has been practicing Bach fugues on the piano! One of them is a 4-part fugue! How does he even have enough fingers for all that?

I’m just gonna leave this here and say I’m having a MUCH better day today!

Beautiful picture Muddy! Thanks for sharing. Did hiking help?

My mom got her meds. I still feel decent. I've only taken one valium today. Ever since I started the Evail I've been able to cut back on the valium because my anxiety has been so good. I just wish I could lose some weight. But I'm kinda stuck. I'm not gaining weight from the new med at least.

Today is my dad’s heavenly birthday. He would have turned 69. I miss him.

Gorgeous, muddy! Almost makes ya look forward to winter!

I had trouble sleeping last night. That's rare for me. So today all i did was doze with "Ozark" playing. It was really nice.

Hugs to all in need!

Hiking did help, and it was full on winter about 1,000ft higher in elevation than that pic! I got to use my microspikes on some icy slabs and I feel amazzzzing. It was my first 4k'er in years, and I'm so happy to know I can still physically do them (I mean this was probably of the top 5 easiest of the 48, but still, 2,000ft of elevation gain in 2.3mi (and then back!) is pretty good!)(Also arguably the worst footing of any hike I've done, but maybe I'm forgetting some hikes)

Dealing with the whole is it possibly a heart attack thing again. and my chest feels weird. I'm also coughing a lot so maybe I'm just starting to get the covid. Its better when I lie on my right side. My blood pressure is 132/82 and my pulse is 91.

Could also be heartburn. Or anxiety from lack of valium. Even though I still don't feel the need to take one. Maybe I'll try some Tums.

I am so out of shape I am very achy just from cleaning out the dishwasher. Idk what to do. Any sort of physical activity causes massive pain and other stuff that will show up on Xrays.

I remember at 23 doing a 12 hour black friday shift, sleeping for 10 hours, then spending all the next day shopping. Now at 31 I'm just barfy and achy all the time.

All I have are dumb melatonin tums

I keep coughing though even with Tums and my throat feels funny. But the heart attack stuff went away. I just made that horse sound while coughing. I'll test in the morning if I still feel like crap.

I finally see my pdoc tomorrow. I imagine I'll be on 100 mg of Seroquel at night and maybe 50 mg PRN. Something has to happen. I forgot to tell my therapist I had this appointment which is too bad; he may have wanted to send her an email. Oh well. Fridays aren't my usual days to see her so I just forgot..

Still really tired. We went and voted today or I would have taken a nap. As it was the timing wasn't right for a nap without missing supper. I need a few things from Walmart and I should have gone today since I have pdoc tomorrow but I forgot about pdoc and so I guess I'll go Saturday. I mostly just need blueberries so that's not the end of the world, just something I eat every day and will miss having. I suppose I can survive though .

I’ve been checking interactions and stuff since I get really hung over if I use 50 mg of seroquel. Found that seroquel, latuda and gabapentin together can cause increased sedation and are to be used cautiously in seniors over 65. I have a hangover sleepiness that lasts until noon or 3pm. So I can only take 25 mg. The half-life is 6-7 hours but it takes 35 hours to completely leave. So that means it builds up. Tomorrow I need to be in Rochester at noon, so no seroquel at all for me tonight. I need to be able to drive. On the other hand the AD effect is building up and I need that, I think. I’m feeling somewhat better since sleeping. I went out tonight with a friend. It wasn’t long, just dinner. But we had a good time and when we got back. We sat in the community room taking to a few people. I’m still having a hard time around people so maybe the AD effect will help? But it’s such a small dose I don’t know.