Bipolar Check-in #83

PS Are all the requests for political donations stressing anyone else out? I feel like everytime I turn around someone wants money and I don't have money and I feel like I"m going to cause the loss of the election, personally, even though I know that doesn't make sense. I am already avoiding the news per my therapist's suggestion but I can't avoid my inbox.

Yes, they stress me too. My email hasn’t been coming in the last few days so I have a break from that, but I still get them in my mailbox. I don’t even open them, just throw them away, but feel guilty about it.

My t says I’ve made a lot of progress since I last saw him 2 weeks ago and I agree! We were discussing me going back to work 3 days a week starting December then January (end of) doing 4 days then going on to 5 days. He’s been an amazing support structure for me truly he has. He’s on my side and he just gets me. He’s quite young though. In his mid 30s I’d say …

I'm sorry if my political comments yesterday upset anyone. I read more about the site policies regarding politics in the News and Current Events forum and it DOES say that politics are NOT to be discussed, excepting directly relevant government mental health policy. I'll stay out of it from now on. Apologies.

Highlights from my pdoc appointment:

meds stayed the same

there was a cat playing behind the front desk. I didn't get to pet it or find out why it was there though.

my pdoc supports me stopping counseling because he also isn't a fan of the strategies they want me to try in counseling

my pdoc said I'm a fun person and who doesn't want to be around fun people-I've been pretty hard on myself lately so I didn't realize it, but I really needed to hear a comment like that, especially since I see myself as a painfully boring person. He also pointed out (not in a mean way) that I don't come off that way at first I get what he's saying-I'm super introverted.

I noticed I don't have it in me to say out loud that I've been situationally depressed. I could only get myself to tell my pdoc that I've been "down in the dumps." I had a good talk with my pdoc about what has me depressed lately though.

Are you on metformin?

Do you get headaches from it?

I never thought too much about it until recently, but at my last appointment my psychiatrist asked about my metformin dose, then asked if I've been getting headaches, and I just automatically told her no without really thinking too much about it, but upon reflection I HAVE been getting a lot of freaking headaches as of late! I have one right now! I take 2000mg a day.

I don't know if the two are connected or what.

Yeah I got an email from Obama earlier and then I just got one now from Walz asking if I saw the one from Obama.

I"m getting multiple emails a day from their headquaters but at least they know what party I'm for so I havent gotten any emails from that little orange guy.

It’s 3:00 and I’m up and hungry. Grrr. I don’t want to get up.

Edit- I ate cereal. Now back in bed.

Make sure you take it with food. 1000 mg with your two largest meals.

I sometimes eat smaller meals, so i will even split the 1000 into 2 500's. But mine are regular, not extended release.

Our family member passed away a little while ago. It's really hard on my kids.

Also I slept just 2.5 hours, I'm so tired

Sorry for your loss

Happy Halloween!

I'm just enjoying the holiday doing whatever I want today.

I slept pretty decently. Mood is good. Listening to music right now.

My condolences, Scooter. Sending love to you and your family

I haven’t gotten ANY requests for political donations. I changed my phone number since the last election and don’t put my email down for anything I don’t have to though (if I have to and I know I won’t get anything important I have a fake email I don’t check for that). Probably doesn’t hurt that two of my recent past addresses are homeless shelters.

My CMHC is giving out candy to people coming in the office (or she just offered me some because front desk lady and I are tight). 8:30am is too early for a Kit Kat for me though, haha. I had a late start and my “breakfast” is a muffin and coffee from the repair shop. My battery is low, but I’m not even sure if I have money for everything else so I figure it’s gonna be warm for a bit, I’ll keep my AAA card on me and hopefully replace it myself before i can’t get started in an area without service on a gated mountain road at 4pm after a winter hike. I’m also thinking about going skiing this winter if my old favorite (not home, but better)place opens. It’s a hidden gem, no snowmaking, minimal grooming, narrow winding trails type place. They have horses on the property and at the end of the day most days you can ski right to your car. They don’t consistently open anymore though because apparently it doesn’t always snow enough in ****ing NH for the trails to be skiable, and if it does it’s not always economically feasible to open for like three days out of a winter. Thanks, climate change! We were the “ice coast” and now we’re just gonna be the “coast of people who used to ski but were either forced to stop or move west.” Can always count on Jay though. (For countless wind holds and core shots, but also for a good dump every now and then).