Bipolar Check-in #83

Been
In line an
Hour and not even in the building to vote

I slept 8 hr. last night, no waking up at 3 AM fidgety & restless this morning. I did pilates & had breakfast. The stray cat is still around. If I can get her into the cat carrier, I have a vet appt. scheduled for her this afternoon. I suspect she is an older cat, super friendly, either abandoned by somebody or really, really lost. No collar; I'll have the vet check for a micochip, but she hasn't been cared for in some time; you can feel her spine & ribs easily petting her.

Trying not to dwell on the election; so far I am amazingly calm this morning, but I have been distracted by the stray cat which is a good thing.

((((HUGS)))) to all, especially those of you with anxiety about the election.

If you have money issues, I am wondering why you feel you need that much money for gifts? We spoil our daughter, and we don't spend more than $300 on gifts, and I feel even that is a lot. H & I each buy a gift for ourselves, something $100 or less.

I already voted.

@Victoria'smom

I agree with Blueberrybook. Why spend so much? I don't think we've ever spent that much on our daughter, and my husband and I don't even buy each other gifts.

Victoria’s mum, I agree that’s way too much money to spend. 100 is fine. Priorities! Getting housing and better credit comes first.

Also agree there is absolutely no need to spend that much money for gifts. It's been a few days, but bluebird, I'm really sorry about Mocha. You gave him a good life, and I bet he's grateful for that. And ((hugs)) to everyone having sleeping issues and anxiety.
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I had a pdoc appointment yesterday. No med changes, but she does want me to update ACT team when I go off into the Great Gulf Wilderness for a day or two. I feel brain dead today. Doing laundry. I waited until I had nothing that fits left so I had to split it to two loads this time which isn't ideal, but whatever. I think I'm gonna take a nap.

I called my psychiatrist and left a message a few minutes ago. I went another night without sleep

@Blue_Bird - I'm glad you called your pdoc. You have been having a lot of trouble with sleep lately, and I know that is miserable.

I have found a counseling course that is possible for me to afford financially with the fortnightly payments that I can finish in 2 years. It’s going to be tough with my 5 year old son constantly around me but my sister managed to do it with twins who were 2 years old. Where there’s a will there’s a way, right?

I slept from 10-4 and then I woke up for a few minutes and I fell back asleep until 6. I feel better today. Last night was rough stomach wise. My anxiety is a lot better today and my moods are fine. My rash is gone too. I'm not sure if you can get steroid withdrawels but it felt like that was what was going on.

I picked up some groceries around noon and I'm just waiting now.

I took a seroquel. Waiting for it to kick in and hopefully calm me down. Took the 300mg my psychiatrist recommended last night, but still only got four hours of sleep. Boo! At this point I've just given up. I don't sleep through the night no matter what I do.

To make matters worse I'm agitated af because I'm hypersexual again. It's really uncomfortable, and my husband is at his mom's house right now.

Tonight is trampoline park and movie night, which should be fun. My husband told me he's going to be checking his phone to see the election results coming in. I asked him to PLEASE not do that!!! I think he's going to do it anyway though. I don't want to know results until they're more finalized tomorrow morning. I'm still so stressed about it I have chest pains right now. This sucks. This is just sucky. I've never been so stressed out about an election! I even woke up this morning with an awful anxiety stomachache. I haven't gotten those since I was a little girl and my parents just attributed it to "nervousness".

I'm hoping I can sleep for a couple of hours, until my husband and daughter get home. That would be nice. I think I need a nap because my head hurts but I don't want to take a Tylenol.

OMG @raspberrytorte - If I checked the election results as they came in, I think I'd truly go CRAZY!!! The election is stressing me out SO much too. I haven't been so worried about an election EVER!!!

Yeah, we are busy tonight, we have our monthly meeting for the building and it’s election night for us too. Then after that we’re having 500. So I’m staying busy, then when that’s over I plan to watch the Chanel with looney toons. No election stuff for me. They aren’t going to know anything until tomorrow.

I did it! I drove to Rochester in the rain! My car is such a smarty pants that a light came on and asked me to consider taking a break! In the middle of farm country! Whew it’s nice to know I can do it! Ever since that black ice incident I’ve been an extremely nervous driver. That was so scary. The dentist fixed the problem with the dentures and they fit much better now. No pain.

I was watching the news. But I couldn't tell if it was good news or not. So I turned it off and I'm ordering pizza.

Wow nammu that IS a smart car! I wonder what triggered it to ask you?

Probably driving in the foggy rain, and my speed going up and down as I would keep slowing down in a 55 zone. Those curves weren’t 55 miles and hour curves even in good conditions

Ugh. Things arent going well. I'm freaked out and my stomach hurts like a *****.

Better get your resumes dusted off. Things are gonna be majorly cut.

When do things just stop working out like they always have?

Things have always ended up ok. Now I'm not sure.

So my finance was approved for the counselling course so money isn’t the issue. The issue is do I study with a 5 year old boy who is so needy with me?

I way, way overdid it today.My pdoc and I agreed that I would try to use my light box for a week and increased my gabapentin 100 mg to help me sleep until this election thing ends. Then we'll discuss changes to Seroquel if needed. I really don't want to increase it and I don't think she does either. I'm on enough meds already. So last night I did sleep better but was still up for an hour and a half.


Today has been terribly anxiety-producing, just like so many of you. I talked to my therapist about it, which was difficult as if we were honest we'd have voted for different candidates. I don't know if he voted for the orange guy or not but we are unlikely to agree on politics. But we handled the discussion well and respectfully which is good. And it helped some.

But I had to go to 3 stores and handle the noise and make decisions and deal with the overstimulation and it was too much. I didn't get home until 6 and I was exhausted by then. I also had to drive in the dark for the end of it and after I hit a deer last year I am very anxious about that. When I was coming down the hill we live on a deer was standing in the road and while I had plenty of time to stop it was still scary. It was a year ago yesterday that I had the accident last year and I've developed a somewhat excessive fear of driving after dark since then.


At this point I'm just waiting until I can take meds and go to sleep. Which is realistically a while off. I'll get my shower soon but I won't be asleep until 11 at the earliest. At least I don't have to go into any stores for a while. I'm trying to ignore the news tonight. When I peeked my anxiety went way up.

Sorry so many of you are suffering election anxiety.

My depression was more intense today. I couldn't play Scrabble, or read, or watch TV. I just ate junk and laid around. I'm managing to listen to mood music and burn candles now. Grateful that i have the freedom to do as i please tho and endure my depression with a minimum of suffering.

I also have anxiety about today’s election. I saw my therapist and I talked about it of course and I asked him how many hours he spent this week talking about the election he said many many many. I said I’m sorry to add to stress and he said that’s my job. It’s a really big burden on a lot of people right now.

Today hasn't been to bad. My roommate is sick so I'm really hoping I don't get sick. The funniest part of the day is when my students were randomly barking in the hallway while waiting to be let in to the classroom. My mood was pretty good today-just a little down when I came home and had nothing to do. But, going to a near by park for a walk before coming home helped my mood. It was the perfect weather for a walk.

My roommate has the election news on. I personally wouldn't have it on, but I can easily find ways to ignore it.

In case a fun, nonpolitical voting story would help distract from election anxieties for a moment, I have one: at my school today, to teach students about voting without bringing politics in it, students got to go to the polls and vote for spirit week themes for later in the year. They even got an "I Voted" sticker. The kids seemed to really enjoy it.

I seriously don’t know whether or not to study and it’s stressing me out! The student advisor is ringing me at 10:00am tomorrow and I have to give him an answer.