Bipolar Check-in #83

Well... looks like we lost this one.

Oh no @raspberrytorte ……. Hugs

It’s 4 am and I haven’t slept because of the election results. At one point a political ad said he was going to get rid of social security. We’re all ****ed if that includes SSI and SSDI.

Didn't sleep well last night. Gunfire all damn night 2-3 minutes straight every 20 minutes or so. And a clay miniature of Jesus Christ melted out of a picture frame on the wall that was never there and spider webs danced across the ceiling amongst other weird shyt.

Four more years? More like I'm gonna need four more beers....if SSI/SSDI get cut, I'm just gonna get myself a nice long prison sentence. Or maybe in the process of my crime spree I'll accidentally become president.

If Trump gets rid of SSDI we will be fcked. I will have no choice but to get a job again and just deal with it. I don't know how else we'd come up with the amount I make in SSDI a month, unless my husband starts working an insane amount of hours.

I am so panicked this morning about the outcome of the election, and I don't even get SSI or SSDI as H's salary is too high and I've never worked long enough to qualify for aid (and it's not like we're even well off but we make do). Now EPA regulations are going to go down the drain, if the EPA doesn't cease to exist altogether. I live in an industrial area, less than 5 miles from a massive area of chemical plants. We already have shelter-in-place (with windows closed, AC off, just miserable in this climate no matter the season of the year) whenever the plants have an accident and tons of bad air quality days; I just foresee it getting worse.

OK, try not to panic, blueberry, it's not going to do you any good. Accept the things you cannot change, right? How on earth does one do THAT?!

Edited: OMG, I want to take some Seroquel so bad, I am panicking so much, but I have an appointment with the dermatologist this AM, and I have to get more removal and another biopsy on an abnormal mole. Kind of anxious about it; H had to have this done once, and he got really hacked up, ended up with a scar on his back. My mole is on my waist line, right where my shorts waistline sits. I am wearing a dress to this appointment because of that.

But the panic is more about the election than the dermatologist appointment.

I fell asleep for a couple hours with the heating pad on. I woke up feeling fine physically. Yesterday was super tough, I didn't realize 2 hours of heat would take care of the pain.

Idk. The only thing I can do is try to better my own situation. At least right now. I know I can improve a lot of things in
my life on my own. Like drinking less soda and working out and shyt that will help out my physical health which is my main issue.

I'm not hearing any news about violence or anything which is good I guess.

I’m really upset about the election results.

I guess the main thing I can do is focus on what I can control in my own life right now.

Exactly what i was thinking. I have a lot of room for improvement before any of my life is affected by any outside forces.

4 years ago, i was too depressed to even vote.

I believe we have a lot of strong, smart people in this country who are not going to just roll over and die. Our systems will continue.

I love my heating pad!

Yeah, no violence. No reason to "fight". Reminds me of the joke about dogs chasing cars - the dog doesnt know what to do with it when hes caught it!

I think it's easier to accept a general situation when you know what you can do to make the best of it. Like someone at risk of being deported can work on getting to a safe place ahead of time before they're forced into an unideal situation, or a woman who wants to have a child could ask her gynecologist advice and reassurance to ensure a safe pregnancy and birthing process. If you have some friends that express their political opinion in opposition to the new power, encourage them to either get a lot more people and guns or put a cap on it.

Is this an ideal government to be under? No. But at least we have a decade behind of us of this guy shoving himself in the limelight that we can take a good guess as to what the worst that could happen is. If anything, I got from this outcome that no matter how ****** or stupid of a person someone is, they can achieve their goals.

We're at my husband's mom's house right now, and she's all doom and gloom regarding the election, which isn't isn't helping my anxiety. She said grocery prices will skyrocket once Trump starts deporting all these illegal immigrants because there'll be no one to work the fields and that She also said the department of education is going to be cut. Pretty much, she said we're all screwed.

Anyway, so I think I'm going to start bawling. 😭 😭 😭 This sucks. This is just sucky. I mean, WHY. Just... WHY. I don't understand why everyone seems to like him apparently.

@MuddyBoots

Don't worry.

I'm trying not to let the election results trigger an episode of depression. I mean, maybe things will be okay?

I would bawl, but I can't because I'm not at home right now. Had a dream about crying last night though.

That's the thing, about 2.5 million LESS people voted for him this election compared to 2020 (I'm willing to bet COVID took a lot of them out though). He lost popularity, but the blue ticket lost more.

In all likelihood I don't think we'll have a worst case scenario because of this. A man set a precedence that rules don't matter, made a lot of people hate him, and got into power. There are others out there who can use his barbaric tactics against him, we just have to hope they will. We were given a foundation with checks and balances. We can keep that.

There’s a huge dark maelstrom in the center of my gut. It’s official America is dead. People would rather vote for a con man than a woman. Even Mexico voted a woman in. Ohhhh. This is so bad. The end of pbs, last time he made huge cuts to education and pbs, this time he’ll just eliminate them. SSI and SSDI, gone. HUD programs gone. Oh I’m sick!

America was great because when there was trouble in the world, America did the helping. Now America is causing the hurting, and that is going to be the opposite of great.

I hope other countries help us

I did the laundry and cleaned my apartment. Mustachio is laying on the warm laundry. I drew this today. Gonna practice violin soon. I slept 12 hours last night. My psychiatrist never called me back.

I miss Mocha so much. I keep thinking he's here accidentally out of habit, like I went to go check on him this morning like I usually do when I first woke up but obviously he's gone. He was a good cat. The best boy.

Having creative outlets like art and violin are really helpful for managing my stress and anxiety

I've been sleeping all day and I'm not going to deal with this today.

I’ve decided I’m not going to study the counselling course. Counsellors get paid a lot less money than teachers here in my State. Sigh. I wanted out of teaching.

The dermatologist appt. wasn't as bad as I feared; glad that is over. I really hope the doctor got all the margins on the mole this time. 2 weeks for the biopsy results.

Our stray cat turns out to be a he, not a she. We still don't have a name for him. He got a shot of painkiller, an antibiotic shot, and a dose of Revolution flea/pest treatment yesterday, and he will be back in 2 weeks for his vaccines/neuter. We still haven't brought him in the the house; we want to be sure the medicine has killed all the pests, and it may be gradual, depending how our other cats react to him. He is a sweetie though.

I'm still having a lot of anxiety/panic. I'm debating whether or not to take 25 mg Seroquel.

@Blueberrybook I hope your new family member settles in nicely! What are you thinking for names?

[QUOTE=MuddyBoots;7452030]

It doesn't really do anything but it does make me a bit like a zombie so that I'm zoned out enough not to feel much.

Time to make plans now